My bf and I have been dating for two years now. The beginning parts of our relationship was very rough.  We worked together and that took a toll on us early on. He was very insecure, jealous and angry. I am very friendly with my son’s father and his family. I consider them my family and regularly spent time with them. My son’s father and I are also on very good terms as well as I am with his new wife. My BF does not agree with this and has managed to insert himself between me and them.  I’ve all but cut them off in order to keep him happy. And yes I realize this is wrong and I am well aware of that.

My issue now is that his 15 year old daughter was forced to move into my 2 bedroom apt that prior to me meeting him was occupied by myself and my 14 year old son. (My daughter lives in Texas with her father) My BF moved in last year and his daughter would come visit whenever she wasn’t mad at him. Upon me meeting him three years ago, he lived with his daughter and his ex-wife (not her mother) He and his ex-wife were on their way to divorce. His daughter one day, became upset at something and went to their neighbors house and locked herself in it, refused to come out until her mother came to pick her up. She moved in with her mother and her mother’s husband at that point. In the time, I’d say about 2.5 years from then til now, she has had many behavioral and mental issues. She’s ended up in psych hospitals a few times, gotten into trouble at school, sneaking out, running away and also now has a simple assault charge with the juvenile courts. She has a real problem with authority and seems to only care about herself. Her pattern is that when she doesn’t get what she wants she causes chaos and moves on to the other parent or grandparent. In 2019 alone, she has lived with both her mother and mother’s husband, then after an issue between her mother and her husband, her mother had to take this child and move in with her father (child’s grandfather), then after a few months, there was an issue with her not following set rules and being confronted by her grandfather to which she became defiant and disrespectful resulting in her grandfather requesting she leave his home. She ended up on our couch at that time, until the next evening when we awoke to find her gone as she had snuck out and ended up somewhere in New Jersey. I told my BF I wanted her gone. So her last resort was her grandmother (mom’s mom. My BF’s parents are both gone). Her grandmother and her husband took her in and tried very hard to help her. They took her to therapy, got her on medications for her bi-polar and various other mental issues she has (which my BF refuses to believe she does). She of course had bad moments but otherwise her grandmother had her on a good path. That is until one day in August. She asked to be taken to an amusement park near here. Her grandmother advised her that she could not go b/c she had summer schoolwork to finish. This is when she snapped and started fighting with both the grandmother and her husband. At some point it escalated to a physical conflict to which her grandmother called my BF and asked that he come pick her up as she was no longer welcome in her home.

Enter her living at my apartment. It has been roughly 6 weeks, and in the time she has been here, there’s been an issue with her doing acid, sneaking out several times, lying, skipping school not being where she states she will be and just pretty much doing whatever it is that she wants to do. All with her father simply ‘grounding her’. This past Sunday, she snuck out of the house again and stayed out all night until she was tipped off by a friend that the police were looking for her. When she returned she gave a bogus story about her wanting to prove that she can make it on her own. She claimed to have been walking around the city all night, when we found a picture of a bedroom she posted on Snapchat. This girl is a terror. She showed no remorse gave her father an attitude. She cares about no one but herself.

I made it clear to my BF after the issue she had last week, that I was willing to give her one more chance and that was it. After this issue two days ago, I really want her out of my home and away from my son. I feel guilty of course b/c she is a child, but all of the parenting falls on me. I feel like I constantly have to give myself to not just him but to her as well and I have no more of myself left for me. My son has to see someone close to his own age act like a fool and consistently gets away with her bad actions. I want the peace back in my life but I feel like that is selfish of me.

Has anyone ever felt like this?