What should i do
My SD is 15 with health issues we have had primary custody of her since she was 6. About a year ago she came to us wanting to transition, we have a 7 year old together and didn't want to confuse him trying to explain all the lbgtq stuff to him we just want him to be a kid but that's off subject. We agreed to allow the transition to take place but under certain guidelines. 1st of which was to attempt to influence the younger brothers gender identification, 2nd to take it slowly because the fact she wanted to transition came on out of the blue. Well that hasn't happened all that is talked about is trans thus trans that, and apparently things aren't moving as fast as SD wants them to. We have tried to explain that it's not something that will happen over night and everyone will except it when they are ready. Well this weekend TSHTF idk exactly what happened, all i do know is there was a argument my husband left to remove himself from the situation and SD called the cops for verbal abuse. SD left to go stay with BM won't talk to dad. I received a call this morning wanting to come get belonging I said it would have discussed with dad. I feel thisnone is one i just need to stay out of the middle of...... Am I wrong? Any help or support is appreciated.
What should YOU do in that
What should YOU do in that situation?
Step back, evaluate how you want to raise your own child, decide if the influence you think SD is going to spread will either be positive or negative to the rearing of your own child.
If it's negative, do everything in your power to ensure the safety and health of your own child. EVERTHING.
Don't listen to all of the voices that tell you that "YOU should do this" or "YOU should do that" or "YOU should be supportive of this" for SD.
The only thing you truly have to do is ensure the safety and security of your own baby, and that they are raised in a manner that you agree with, regardless of what others say on the situation.
As far as what *you* should
As far as what *you* should do, definitely step back and take care of your child and let DH and BM take the reigns here.
However; what I think is also prudent here (that I would be strongly nudgng your DH to do in private) is to get into family counseling ASAP. Whether or not your SK is serious about transitioning, it sounds like *you* for sure, and possibly DH, are unsure how to properly handle a teen that is having trouble with gender identity. Making it off limits to your younger child and not using the correct pronoun, referring to it as LGBTQ "stuff" isn't really lending the type of support that I'm sure this teen needs. And it does show a lack of education about it, not try to be mean-- just pointing out that there's a lot of layers to this-- it's complex.
It may be a phase, or a cry for help, or a legit-- deep rooted want for your SK to want to transition, but the help of a professional is probably the next best course of action. Violence against trans people and the suicide rate in the trans community is extremely high because there's precious little and underutilized resources to help them deal with these feelings, many of which crop up around this age.
So counseling, stat-- is what I'd be pushing DH to do.
I may have used the wrong
I may have used the wrong word when i said stuff. I'm not against anything that goes on in the lbgtq community. It is just my personal belif that it is not something that my 7 year old should have to worry about. My SK is also attempting to convince said child he wants to be a girl because he like a few girl toys.
I have experienced two
I have experienced two teenage girls in my life, daughter of a close friend and my niece that tranistioned. My advice is to use the pronouns, let her have a name change, whatever, it's likely a phase and suicide is often a result. Do not allow any permanent changes until after high school. Friend groups are alive and well, we had the smokers they have the LGBT. Both girls in my life are trying to transition back and the hormones they have been on have really made it a difficult process.