I have been married for 23 years, my step daughter and step son are both in their 40’s. I was never totally accepted. At different times I did get along with them. They both dislike their biological dad. I had a couple of heated arguments with my step daughter during the last year during the time my wife and their mom became extremely ill. My step daughter won’t let me see her children any more. My wife feels badly but I’m actually ok with it. Over the years of our marriage my wife raised both grandchildren everyday from birth to kindergarten. They basically lived with us. This went on for 7 years. When my stepdaughter got a dog we also became her kennel. There wasn’t anything I could do because my wife loved this arrangement. I became frustrated.

I could write a book on toxic inlaws.  My MIL and her husband (my DH's step father) are just awful.  I have known them since 2002.  In all that time I don't think my MIL once asked me a question about myself, or showed any interest in me at all. The whole family bonds and talks only about sport, which I have no interest in.  Eventually, things came to a head and after an argument in early 2018 when we were visiting them for a weekend - step FIL basically threw us out.  We have been estranged since then and I will never willingly go back.  

Politely request that they call first before dropping over. If they drop by unannounced pretend to be at friends or neighbours, they will stop doing it. 

I have a SIL who drives everyone nuts.

To start with, she’s a busybody and can’t keep her nose out of anyone else’s business. When her other brother was going through a really bad patch in his marriage, she interfered at a meal at my place and told the whole table (about 16 of us…) that they should stop their carry on and “just get divorced”.  Took my breath away. DH told her in no uncertain terms to sit down and shut up.

When my daughters were born, we were in a high-risk maternity (lots of reasons) for 2 weeks. Under 15s where strictly forbidden – there were signs everywhere saying so. She called and demanded to be able to bring her daughters (9yo and 11 yo) to see the babies. I said no. She then had her 11yo call to try and wheedle her way in.

When we did the christening (a civil event at the local town hall), she was miffed because she wasn’t chosen as godmother and refused to come. Said it wasn’t a “real christening” (i.e. not catholic) anyway. Then called the day before the event and said she’d changed her mind. DH said “tough, it’s booked, the numbers given, too bad, so sad”.

She was invited to dinner at my other SIL’s mother’s. SIL’s mother is going through chemotherapy for an aggressive breast cancer. So, what does she do? Spends the entire meal trying to convince SIL’s mother to vote extreme right in the next election.

FIL died at the end of last year. SIL swooped in, told nobody, and took all the valuables. We only realized months later that MIL’s (MIL died several years ago) jewellery had all disappeared. Well, it was obviously for her daughters and they WERE the most important of the grandchildren (there are six of them, only one boy), weren’t they?

She just gets up my nose. Thank you for letting me vent All the other ILs are the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. I suppose that’s why she seems like such a PITA.

Even my DH loves his own family from afar (excluding his parents, who are deceased).

after i gave birth to my daughter. My daughter had just fallen asleep, i was in a singlet and shorts, sleep deprived, scruffy hair and ss goes to open gate and front door to let her in.

i was livid with hubby afterwards “like what the eff hubby? Your own 17.5 yr old son doesn’t even tell me that your niece invited herself over?” No one even says now isn’t a good time and could you call in advance please to see if its a suitable time. 

This same niece while i was rushed to hospital with my 2nd child due to lack of movements, decided to message hubby on his family’s chatting group “if it was gonna be a caesarean or natural birth”, dumb arse hubby replies caesarean while every other family member did the polite thing wishing for the best.

i lost it with hubby that this was such an invasion of my privacy because this is something i should have respected. Months later ut was her youngest daughter birthday and she did this whole long winded braggin gpost how she was so privileged and lucky to have 4 vaginal births with no stitching required...