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Boyfriend buys ex wife expensive perfume

Mindful life is the one 2019's picture

Submitted by Mindful life is... on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 3:53am

Boyfriend of 1 year has bought expensive perfume for his ex wife and she bought him the same and said its from their daughter. They done at Xmas and fathers mothers day as well.

I said I think that's some what in appropriate of a gift, I 100% agree a nice mummy or daddy gift that the child picks but perfume isn't.

 

And not to mention this woman is an absolute nightmare been trying to break us up for the year even sending her bikini photos of her self to him, d

About her personal life, messeges all day everyday, she then called me a drag queen a barbie prostitute, all sorts, messeging him from the moment he wakes up he is texting her. Its so intense.

 

When I see all the pics she was sending of herself to him and he didn't put a stop to it, he told me I was insecure and to deal with it as that's how she is. 

 

So today I said I feel the perfume is some what inappropriate and asked if this was something u did when married, he said yes, he then told me I was ridiculous and its my problem he will continue to buy her perfume, what's worse he bought us the same perfume last Christmas.

 

I don't think I'm being unreasonable saying it's to extravagant and he should get something more related to the child. And considering she has been causing issues from day 1, trying to break us up at every opportunity.

 

I'm exhausted from trying to teach him right from wrong, I mean how can he think its acceptable to receive bikini photos and photos from her nights out from his ex wife?

Am I being unreasonable? 

Comments

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 4:11am

Well, he accepts happily bikini shots from his ex-wife, talks to her about personal things, buys her expensive gifts, and is fine with her saying nasty things about you.  Oh, and he wants the two of you to wear the same perfume.  Then he tells you to get over it because you are insecure.  Unreasonable?  No.  Masochisitic?  Definitely,  This guy is having a great time having 2 women fight over him.  How much fun are you having?  What are you getting from him in exchange for him getting his rocks off?  

Aunt Agatha's picture

Submitted by Aunt Agatha on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 4:14am

Is not dumping this sorry excuse for a boyfriend.  He is enmeshed with his ex in unhealthy ways.  
 

Find someone who respects you.  This is not normal loving behavior.

stepgirlfriendfurmom's picture

Submitted by stepgirlfriendfurmom on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 6:31am

and find someone else better for you! I remember your post on the forum a few weeks back regarding some of these details. He 100% is STILL enmeshed with his ex wife. The fact that he told you he did this while they are married and will still do so when they are divorced should of made you realize you deserve better and he cannot give you the respect and love that you deserve and need. 

Hell, I didn't like it when my bf's ex was texting him saying about working it out and being a family again, etc. when we got together. It really upset me and he was even telling her no, not going to happen, stood up for our relationship, etc. but to be engaging in this type of behavior with his ex and getting photos like that from her? Oh hell no, I would of dumped him so fast he wouldn't of known what hit him.

RogueSM's picture

Submitted by RogueSM on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 9:30am

Get out now.. this is not resonable in any way.  To use the child as an excuse is just BS. dont even bother trying to make him jealous, just getout now and find someone who will respect you and treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 11:18am

She still going after his EX.  He enmeshed with ex.  He think of her whe he with you.  This is not material to be with no less married.  Unless you want to be number three in a threesome.   
 

open the door and run,  as fast as you can.  There are others out there who will treat you better.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 11:52am

It looks like you posted almost the same exact blog a month ago, and the advice then was pretty much you need to dump this jerk. I don't usually give that advice, but in your case, that would be my advice as well. When you express valid concerns to your partner and he does nothing to correct his behavior, it means he doesn't care enough about your feelings- he is more worried about staying enmeshed with his ex. Since you seem to not want to completely cut and run, I would tell your SO that if he does not stop his behavior and keep communication to only skid-related communication, you will end the relationship. If he tells you you are being jealous again and he will not stop, you have your answer. But then you need to actually END IT.

Do you really plan on putting up with this forever? Why waste any more time? This is not your person- your person would consider your feelings and not buy his ex-wife the same expensive perfume as you.