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Tired.

Shorti90's picture

Submitted by Shorti90 on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 4:55am

So. My birthday is tomorow. And like she has been doing all week my SD will point out that my birthday is not as important than hers, because " she's ( I'm) a child and she deserves more attention than anyone in the house because she's got left by her BM. I'm tired. I'm tired of sacrificing and getting treated like shit because I'm not douchebag BM. Who  after abandoning SD without contact for 2.5 years after being abusive, still won't take responsibility. I'm tired. 

Comments

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 5:14am

I hear you, glad you wrote that out. I am sorry you are going through this. It is definitely exhausting and punishing. 

I hope you do something really nice for yourself on your birthday and have coffee or dinner with a friend who will celebrate you. 

Biggrin

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 7:21am

Happy Birthday!  I hope that you have some nice plans and that your DH recognizes you with the love you deserve.  As far as the SD, how old is this entitled little miss?  There is nothing wrong with telling her in an age appropriate manner that people will be far more willing to do things for her and make her life happy if she is a nice person and pleasant to be around.  Snotty rude behavior may get her a roof over her head and food on the table but it is not going to get her the love and attention that she clearly wants.  Some people are smart enough to figure that out on their own and some are not.  She may need someone to do her the favor of putting the dots very close together for her.

Shorti90's picture

Submitted by Shorti90 on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 6:52am

And she's been told and reminded for over a year ofwhat u said. 

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 7:00am

Then she has had warning.  I would stop any "extras" for her and make my point clear by telling her, the next time she makes that kind of snotty remark. that I had planned on taking her to some fun activity but now that is cancelled.  Action = immediate consequences.  When she manages to be decent for a few days then do something she likes and tell her why you are doing it.  She may not be bright enough to get it unless you explain it to her but if you can make the lightbulb go off in her head you will not only be making your life better but will teach her a lifelong valuable lesson.

I tried this with my SD but she did not need anything from me.  She was insanely spoiled by her mother and DH could not stand her tantrums so literally threw money at her.  Hopefully you will not have your hands tied like that.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 7:04am

Happy Birthday.
 

Don't take personally what a snotty second grader says or does. But don't let her bully you, either. 

captjacksprrw's picture

Submitted by captjacksprrw on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 7:27am

It's a rare day when we SParents get an approving nod or even credit for sacrifice.  You just go ahead and have an abolutely Great birthday.  Don't let SD's words (how the heck old is she??) get to you.  She is definitely aware of the tool she has and is using it.  Hopefully both you and your spouse will be unified in ignoring her use of that.  Also, if she's younger then insist on some decent counseling to get her over herself. 

Ohhh and she is showing all the signs of a priviledged little snowflake.  Just a suggestion but talk the spouse into this.  It's both reqarding and educational.  Make it a game, etc ... Once per month you do a family event.  Rule is it has to be working for someone less entitled (food kitchen, Habitat for Humanities, meals to shut ins, volunteer to drive disabled vets to the VA).  Make it fun, you all get pizza or ice cream after.  Maybe some of it will rub off on her.  Second best words my dad taught me for life:  There but for the grace of God go I

RogueSM's picture

Submitted by RogueSM on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 10:26am

Happy Birthday!!

dont wait on anyone to take you out and celebrate.  Do something for yourself, like mani, pedi massage.. if DH doesnt put in any effort, stand tall and do it for yourself. 

YOUR DAY, YOU RULE!!! 

 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 10:41am

Take the day and show the little darling how its done!

She might learn some things.

These days, its all about child-centric, and somehow you need to change that, so sit DH down and explain all this to him.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 12:05pm

Step parents life.  DH bad parenting, is the cause of this.  He should put a stop to it. 

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 4:04pm

You just tell the lil brat that actually your birthday is more important because you are older. The bigger the number the more important you are.