Hello everyone,

I'm a newbie here and honestly I don't know where to start. Even choosing a subject to this post was already hard. So my husband has 3 kids (girl 14y, girl 12 y, boy 9y) from his previous marriage and now we have a boy together (2y). After 2 years living in his home country (Europe) we made a big leap of moving to my home country (Asia). Before when we were in Europe, his children came to us every Wednesday, every second weekend, a summer vacation of 2 weeks, and another vacation of 1 week either fall or Easter. Now of course the situation has changed, last summer they came here to stay with us for one month, and he flew over Europe alone once for one week. We are standing before Winter vacation and by all honesty I don't want to spend it ala blended family style anymore. Vacation with them the previous times was already not something I would look forward to, I mean they didn't do anything horrible more than the usual teenie - kiddie issues age appropiate, just that it was always more a duty than a pleasure (well actually my husband's duty). I don't have any problem with them, and I don't think they with me neither, we get a long. Just that I don't like their characters, how they behave, how they act, nothing wrong, they're just not my type of people. Also when spendind time all together we were not really one family, we would be my husband with their children as a single dad, and me with our son as a single mom, because 1.I don't speak their language very well and 2.my husband was busy enought with them that he couldn't also care about our son. I was fine with all that, when getting married I knew what I was into, eventhough occasionally daydreaming about a husband of just me, a dad of just our son, withou the exwife and the stepchildren, he is already a wonderful dad, and he would be 100% for us.

Ok so much for the intro. Now with the new situation that we - my husband, me and our son - are far away from his exwife and his children, I am not motivated too much to spend vacation with his kids anymore, also because it costs some extra money than before. I said that to my husband that he can fly over alone and take the kids skiing and my and our son just stay here. He is sad about that of course but would accept that. He even said maybe in the end it would be better because his kids would have him "for themselves" and don't have to share him with me and the new little brother (they are still angry with him for going away and probably also me and the little brother to steal their dad away)

Is this a fine situation now, that now we are two separate families and not one blended, and everyone has to move on, or are we not trying hard enough to be more together like a (blended) family?

Thanks for reading until now.

Tigerstepmama