This situation has been going on for a year and a half, so there is a lot to it but I would like to mention the biggest events. I am the stepmother to a 10 year old (M). My fiance was awarded full custody a year and a half ago. The mother was under investigation through our local department of social services and was not truthful during the placement of her son (she lied and said that she did not know where his father was, even though she did). This ended up with my stepson being placed in a foster home while we went through the process of getting custody. He has maintained a relationship with the foster parent (34 M). In the aftermath of being awarded custody, we looked to the former foster parent for advice and he had stated that he wanted to maintain contact with my stepson. At the time, we didn't see any harm in it and continued their relationship. My stepson would go to the FP's house on a weekly basis to spend a night or two (the FP also had children that he has adopted and they got along with my stepson). About four months after being given full custody, we sat the FP down to talk about decreasing the time our child spent at his house. This was met with resistance and we felt bad, so did not continue to push our wants. The FP decided about two months later that he would foster our child's two half siblings. Thinking that this was great that our child would continue to have a relationship with his siblings, we continued to let the weekly sleepovers occur. Things started to go downhill again when the goodbyes between our child and the FP began involving kissing on the cheek, prolonged byes. We repeatedly told our child that this was not appropriate behaviour and we did not wish for it to continue. This finally ceased. We enrolled our child in the school district closest to our home which meant that he would be going to school with one of his siblings. The school year began and I took my stepson to school every morning and dropped him off in the car rider line. About three weeks into the school year, I had to go to the school to pick something up. It was brought to my attention at that time that the FP was walking my stepson to class every morning (FP lives near the school and walks the sibling there every morning). This made me very upset and I expressed this to my fiance. I am now walking my stepson to class and am not warm when the FP stops in the hallway to talk to my stepson. The weekly visits continue and I have also expressed that I want them to stop. I by no means want the relationship between my stepson and his siblings to suffer, but at this point I am highly uncomfortable with the FPs standing in my stepsons life. My family and my fiance's family are uncomfortable as well. We have decreased as much time as we can without feeling a huge resistance. Here are a couple of more things:

- My stepson once told me that he wouldn't speak to me or his dad if we didn't let him go over to the FPs house weekly.

- FP will not take no as an answer and always has to respond with a snide remark if he feels he doesn't get the response he wants

I apologize for this post being so long, so much has happened, especially lately. I feel at my wit's end. My fiance is uncomfortable but is not as vocal about it as I am. Are we being too smothering about this? Is this a normal thing for foster parents to do or a normal way for them to act? Any and all advice is welcome.

Thank you,

Concerned Stepmom