BM coming to funeral
Ok, my husbands mother hates BM and BM had no relationship with my husbands step father. Why is she coming to my husbands step fathers funeral? And my husband didn't even tell me. His daughter mentioned it and I thought, surely she's mistaken. So I asked my husband and he's like yeah I guess she's coming. I'm like, wtf for? No one likes her and no one has a close relationship with her. She didn't even come to Christmas or thanksgiving but she's coming to a funeral? Irritated doesn't begin to describe what I'm feeling. He's saying oh she mentioned it in text but I forgot. Somebody please tell me I'm overreacting and I need to chill. Maybe I'm crazy. Tell me I'm crazy.
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Oh man! I'd also be extremely
Oh man! I'd also be extremely annoyed. It seems like she has no business being at this funeral but is just trying to keep her foot in the door to the past.
From your previous post of her sending unnecessary texts to your DH, it sounds like she's craving attention from your DH and is having a hard time moving on with her own life.
Unfortunately, I can see the BM in my life pulling this same sort of bs. She also has a hard time letting go -- even though she's re-married now as well.
She's hear talking to his
She's hear talking to his relatives referring to herself as head bitch in charge . Bitch please. And I honestly think she's surprised that I'm here. DH mom is verbally/emotionally abusive. And I went off on her about it so BM probably thought I wouldn't be here.
Personally, I'd leave. I
Personally, I'd leave. I wouldn't stay for MIL to be abusive and BM to be acting like she's in charge, while no one says anything to her about it.
Oh she's being ok today. I
Oh she's being ok today. I was just saying we had an issue because of her (husbands mom) behavior and sD told BM (of course, she tells all our business) so BM probably thought I wouldn't be here. I thought about leaving but I'm not. She'll feel like she has the power to run me off and I'm not giving her that.
You are the one who should be
You are the one who should be there. How is it not an embarrassment on her part to even show up at this funeral? Besides that, she goes knowing your DH will be there but thinking (and probably hoping) you won't be?
Oh, no. I agree, someone needs to bluntly call her out on this. She sounds scandalous.
I wouldn't care if BM thought
I wouldn't care if BM thought she had power, I don't deal with toxic crap anymore.
I understand that too. And I
I understand that too. And I'm still annoyed. I just usually don't deal with her or see her at all. Like ever. So this is really my first time being at a gathering with her there.
If BM showed up at my DH's
If BM showed up at my DH's family funeral, he would tell her off himself and ask someone to escort her to the door. Where is your DH in all of this?
Seems like he's totally fine
Seems like he's totally fine and dandy with it
You know.. if someone relayed
You know.. if someone relayed that to me.. I might have muttered just loud enough to hear.. "well.. part of that statement is correct".. then rolled my eyes.. and walked away.
The only reason someone would say things like that to you is to stir up drama.. I would try not to give it legs.
Right. I'm like girl who
Right. I'm like girl who cares. This is a wake.
IF stepfathers family is not
IF stepfathers family is not ok with this they can tell the funeral director.
But it sounds as though they dont care.
I am sorry.
IF your bm had any class she would ask to view the body prior to visitation to say her goodbyes.. It can be done as long as the family (who is paying the bill) agrees to it.
I have funeral home 'people' in my family.
Yeah they aren't the type to
Yeah they aren't the type to kick someone out of something like that.
So sorry! What a horrible thing
to deal with. I too can see the BM in my sitiation doing the same thing in fact I know she will. Both of my in laws are still alive but when they die I am sure she will be there.
A walk through, hello sorry for your loss and out the door is more than enough even if that is necessary to show up at all.
As in all of these situations it is your DH who needs to give her the boot! Obviously she like many BM's have no idea what appropriate boundries are. I get along great with my Ex-husband and his family. If someone died and I felt the need to go even though they like me and my husband it would still be a walk through, sorry for your loss and out the door! That is an appropriate boundry.
Bottom line this like most problems boil down to DH's lack of shall we say guts to stand up to the BM's.... no problem standing up to us though.
My DH and BM have been
My DH and BM have been divorced for decades. Despite this, she still shows up for his family funerals. She doesn't have a life, friends, and doesn't like her own family. And who cares? And why should you care?
When my MIL passed away BM wanted to sit with "family" for the funeral. I didn't care. Who is the one that looked out of place, me or her? I sat next to Dh and didn't pay any attention to her.
We need to stop making these BM's so relevant.
You're right. It was just so
You're right. It was just so new to me. I've never had to deal with that before. And this one also doesn't like her own family and they don't like her either and don't want anything to do with her or her children because she's burned bridges with everyone
Attention seeking
These BM's (luckily your in laws don't still view her as "family") feel the need to be relevant. It's pathetic but that's how they operate. It would be nice and proper if someone from the family politely escorted her out of the service, though for wheatever reason it seems most in laws do not have the strength of character to act on this.