Feeling Lost!
My partner has become all consumed with his son that has become challenging in every aspect of the word. He has been able to avoid felony charges, sent to a Marine Miltiray school, and neither parent can handle him for more than a few days. I try to put myself in his shoes, but I keep resorting back to how I would of handle things when this behavior started. This quarantine has had only magnified the situation. That being said, my partner has two twin boys and I try to tell him to take me and my daughter out of the situation and look at how it's effecting his other son. I'm just feeling so lost!
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Was he at the Military school
Was he at the Military school and then sent home because of Covid? When is he returning, or has that been stated yet?
What is the current custody arrangement? Who is the primary custodial parent?
Based on the little that I know from your story, I suggest you tell DH that for the safety and wellbeing of the other children in the home that "Bad SS" resides with BM. DH should only take visitation with him out of the house. They can go to a park or go fishing or whatever, but he can't be there. As parents it is our job to protect our kids. Unfortunately in your situation, you have to protect the other kids from their brother.