After the last time I wrote, I decided to let SS stay in the basement because of course, I didn’t want to be the bad guy either. However, it is becoming clearer and clearer that SS may need to move out. 

Now, because rent is so high here in nyc, I did want for him to apply for affordable housing coops. But I don’t know if I can wait that long for him to leave.

Let me preface this all by saying that my H works the overnights on Thursdays and Fridays. His schedule change 6 years ago has contributed to a lot of our arguments. Ss20 now works with H, he has the overnight shift and his days off are Thursday and Friday nights. I think may of you who have been here probably see where this is going. 

SS20 broke up with girlfriend number 3, the girl he had staying in the basement with him until we (or should I say I) told him this was unacceptable. The very following week on a Thursday night, I woke up in the middle of the night as I usually do to get a glass of water and I heard a female’s laugh coming from the basement. I guess he heard me in the kitchen so he put the volume up on the music to I guess hide her voice. I didn’t want to be high conflict, so I went back up to my room but I was infuriated. H gets out of work at 8am and gets home by 830. As usual, SS20 made sure the girl was gone by that time and since I work from home, he came up to say good morning (and probably to feel out whether or not I heard her). 

Very calmly, I asked him who he lives with. He says you, dad, etc etc. I ask him if he doesn’t think that maybe he should communicate if people are coming to the house. Just because his father is not home does not mean I’m not. He has been doing this since we moved in here. Every Thursday and Friday night, he brings a couple guys over and they “record music” all night. I wouldn’t care about this except the basement has a direct entry into my house and I have a 5 year old girl. I don’t need someone drinking/getting high then getting ideas. I don’t know if it is normal to think this way. 

Anyway he then said he has some people over for a “studio session”. I told him that any time he brings people over, he needs to let me know so that I can know who is in my house. The following day he did tell me he was having people over for a studio session.  We were good. This past Thursday I saw him sweeping the basement steps which if you read my past blogs you would know is unlike him. I asked him if he was expecting company and he weakly said no. That night, same thing; I get up, hear a girls voice, music goes up, I go back to my bedroom. I don’t say anything. Friday comes and same situation; I see on Instagram that he had a few people over. 

Ss20 believes that he is someone who counts his blessings. After crashing his car (for the 4th time) he asked us to help him buy a car and he would pay us back. We have great credit, and getting a cheap used car wouldn’t be a big deal, especially if he would pay it off, and I will say that is one area SS20 is good in, that he will consistently pay us 400 for the basement and 200 for the car insurance, but of course we have to remind him. H told him on the way to buy the car last week that he is unsure if SS20 counts his blessings, and SS20 sounded defensive and said “I pray every day”, and H tells him “I didn’t say that. I said I hope you count your blessings”. And he said he did. But I don’t think he does. I feel that a lot of times we have tried to put our trust in SS20 he goes and screws it up. I really did try to support his musical dream, but at this point I feel like he’s just using that umbrella to being people over and party on Thursdays and Fridays and he has them all gone by the time H comes home. I think once he moves out, he will have a better understanding for what landlords expect and what real life has to offer. I also won’t have to worry about who is in my home. 

Lastly, now that he has a new used car, he continues to show it off on social media. He did this with the last car he had, and also posted videos of him speeding. Ss20 just always feels like he has to show off and i really hate that about him. He’s been like this since I met him. He tells us he’s not like that but he acts that way when we aren’t around. As far as I know, it’s not his real persona but he acts like he’s this person who has it all, and he even has on his profile that he’s a musical engineer so of course you know that’s going to attract certain kinds of people. I find it disgusting that he is an online braggart, and believe me, he didn’t get it from us.