Appreciate everything you wrote. Eye-opening.

good points. Steptalk helped me a lot in my past stephe$$. Sometimes reading on ST helps to see what's real and what's BS. Like your DH doesn't need BM for getting kids grades. School would provide passwords for online grade system. That's yet another excuse. BS. 

Good idea trusting your guts, sleep in. You need it. Seeing SD off isn't a major life event. 

Many people can't conceive. It's sad. But there are other ways to have children. Have your SIL thought of anything else like adoption? 

honestly if you want children I'd not kill that dream because you chose this man for a husband. Pets are great but they aren't children. If you don't want children it's fine but if you do I'd give it a serious thought. Is he worth for you to not to have the life you want? men are great and all that. But there is more to life than men. Don't give up on having  kids on his account if it's important to you 

Good for you! It's hard for all of us to be honest about our situation and change ourselves in response to it. 

I'd agree with Livingoutloud, though - if you want a child, have one. Your DH may not be a fantastic father, but he's a caring father, not abusive, and if you are willing to do the heavy lifting of parenting (with him helping as you ask him to), things might work out fine.

And if you split up, you know he'll let you control everything, lol.

If you want kids but are not because your husband is a crap father, you need a different husband instead of giving up having kids. 

You might be "ok" with that now, but it will end up being your life regret. 

ETA: What steptalk should teach everyone, is to not give up on their individual needs and wants for or because of the "first family". 

I wonder if a true reason not having kids with him is because  he doesn't want more kids plus he is so much older. Most women who alter their lives and dreams because of men regret it later. You already gave up a lot. You are now giving up a fundamental thing. You lost yourself in this marriage. No man is worth it 

I'm glad you've hit a point where you accept that this is your life and how your DH will be.

Now, ask the next (and painful) question: is this what you want for decades and decades to come?

I hit the point where you are at with my XH, and I'm very glad I didn't just accept contentment. Being "content" only lasts so long before you realize that it's really just settling.

Life is far too short to just be "okay" with where you're at. Fight like hell for what you want and don't accept "eh" unless 95% of your other wants and needs are fulfilled.

Of course many people don't want kids. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids.
 

If OP just said that, there will be zero discussion on the topic. But she said she won't have kids because of how her husband is. "With a spouse like mine". It did sound he is a reason for not having children.  It's all kind of sad. But if a true reason for not having kids is simply not wanting kids, then it's all good.  it's not hard to understand at all.

I know ton of people who don't want children and it's not a big deal or some kind of difficult notion for people to grasp.