So since covid has been going on, DH and BM have to do transitions at the household. Now I (SM) have been picking up my SD (age 6) from school, daycare etc. for the last 4 years. DH has been working from home now, since covid is in effect.

There has been a right of first refusal put in place for 5 hours, and we respect that. However since it's BM goal to make my life miserable, she has now randomly decided that I cannot open the door to my house to recieve SD. This is what it looked like:

SD and BM rang the doorbell, BM immediately grabs onto SDs shoulders and pulls her to her. I open the door and greet SD, invited her to enter as normal, SD then turns to her BM says "I want to go in now please can you let go" BM grips tighter and whispers to SD "no, wait for your dad" 

I am literally staring at them do this for 2 min. Until I proceed to tell BM, "what your doing is very inappropriate, she is literally pushing and telling you to enter. Why don't you just let the child come in and resume as normal and I can deal with what you need, what do you need?" 

BM just completely ignores me, like zero eye contact and is almost hiding behind SD at this point. She continues to do what she's doing and SD is almost in tears now, I say, "please stop, your directly involving her in your divorce and it's not healthy" to which BM replies  "dont tell me what to do." Then DH had to leave his meeting to tell BM to leave now. Later, SD told me BM was whispering that "I'm disgusting" in her ears. 

SD was very uncomfortable. Our rotation is 2-2-3, and when she went back to BMs house, BM told her to never act that was again and to ask for dad. SD said she didn't want to, but BM said she will get very angry is she doesn't. SD was crying yesterday saying she does not want to disrespect me, and she doesn't know what to do because she loves me and BM is telling her to not call me mom and to hate me. (All words from SD). 

Then BM send some random depiction via her lawyer to DH how I was incredibly aggressive and rude, and we are just staring cause it is all on our security cam.