Emotional support
I'm so over having a DH that acts like a robot and can't seem to be able to provide any emotional support (which was also a complaint BM had with him, go figure).
Anyone else?
Also over his victim mentality and acting like I'm the enemy instead of his teammate. If I have an issue with him, no matter how its approached the script has to be flipped so HE'S the one being persecuted.
- Jcksjj's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
No, my husband probably have
No, my husband probably have this complaint about me. I'm a stoic person raised in a Nordic family, I don't even like hugs.
Does he ever emote? Was it just how he was raised or is he dissociating/repressing himself?
I have no idea, tbh. I
I have no idea, tbh. I actually am not a very huggy person myself, or very good at showing emotions. But I also don't sit there and stare coldly or respond with "what do you want me to do about it?" in a nasty voice when someone is upset or hurting.
Empathy takes effort. I may
Empathy takes effort. I may not show my emotions but that's totally different from emotional intelligence and caring about people. It sounds like he doesn't care or he checks out when it gets too tough.
I'm with you. It sucks. I
I'm with you. It sucks. I have no support at home and alot of personal struggles....I also feel like I'm his enemy and if I told him he would think im nuts for feeling that way.
He is not empathetic or caring.....just speaking a few random kind words doesn't count. He actually makes me feel worse rather than better. He's always been one to bury his head in the sand, ignore problems instead of address them....when I am around him I never feel at peace....just anxious and edgy and nervous...he is not my rock or my feeling of home or safety. He doesn't even really do anything....it's just how I naturally feel around him.
i try so hard not to compare my previous marriage to this one but it's so hard.
somethings that stand out...
current DH bringing me a blanket out to the couch.....he just throws it at me.
exH bringing me a blanket out to the couch....gently covers me with the blanket.
that comparison just sums up everything. My DH isn't mean he just isn't very nice......
Ugh - so did not need
Ugh - so did not need to think about this today. I love my DH and I know that he loves me but he is definitely lacking in the emotional support department. He comes with a ton of baggage - obviously - and also has chronic depression that he frankly uses as an excuse to sandbag on anything that he doesn't feel like taking responsibility for or that he finds difficult. That puts the lion's share of the general heavy lifting of life onto me and it causes resentment.
Like the previous poster, I try not to compare him with my first husband who was unfailingly kind, giving, and uber-responsible. There was never a time that I was not 100% certain that he had me first and foremost and that was where he was with me. He had the warmest heart of anyone I had ever known and it was horribly ironic that it was a heart defect that took his life so young. So....yeah....
But life has to go on. And people have different strengths and weaknesses. In this marriage, I do the same caretaking that I did in my first one but his "love language" is more along the providing/gift giving/physical touch type.
No emotional
Connection with my dh either. I sent him an article that women need emotional connection like men need sex.
My dh connects emotionally with SD 23.