Add chauffer to my list of jobs now too

DH and his ex didn't want to get bus passes this year for skids. It's damn near $600 a kid, so just shy of $1200 for both. BM moved into our neighbourhood last year, now the kids arent living at one residence in the zone for their school, and that is why the bus pass is the maximum amount. If they switch schools to the designated school, its only $50/kid.

3 times I've been asked to pick skids up from school now. BM said they didn't need another mom, so wtf should I, since being left out of the bus pass/designated school decision, be a f*cking chauffer all of a sudden. Especially when BM works from home. I have my 2 little ones with me also, I can't just get a call and wake a baby up and be out of the house in 10minutes to get them.

Any suggestions how to handle this situation I've been voluntold for? The weather is starting to cool now. Skids do ride their bikes when its nice out. But once the snow flies... ???

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Just say, "No, that doesn't

Just say, "No, that doesn't work for me."

When I learned to say this, it was very freeing. One time I threw in a "I have my own schedule to keep." Pow pow pow. No one questions it.

If BM wanted them to go to

If BM wanted them to go to the same school, she should have stayed in the same area. Since she moved, and didn't transfer the kid's school, she should be responsible for pickup ups or figuring it out on her time.

Unplug the land line phone. Turn off your cell phone ringer. She can't ask you if she can't reach you.

Sorry, baby's sleeping. Sorry

Sorry, baby's sleeping. Sorry, my other kiddo is sick. Make excuses every time. Or JUST SAY NO.

Just stop doing it. You are

Just stop doing it. You are not one of their parents, you are simply their father's wife. Their parents need to work out a solution because it is no longer going to be you. Remind them that they are in a bind because THEY refused to pay for the bus passes and that it is their problem. Dump the problem where it belongs, in your dh's and bm's laps.

You are responsible for your children. Does bm babysit for you when you want to go out anywhere? Bet she doesn't. So why do her any favours? "Sorry, bm, no can do. Byeee."

Its very simple...

You just say "nooooooooooo"

when hubby asks why and its the skids. You tell him your toddler/baby is sleeping and in your case 2 little ones who are your main priority so its about friggin time if their dad can't step up that bio mum steps up

Is it just BM asking, or DH

Is it just BM asking, or DH expecting you to do it? Either way, say no, sorry, can't do that. Then ask DH to tell BM to stop asking, you will be unable to help with pick-ups.

So I kinda figured DH forgot

So I kinda figured DH forgot about picking them up the first time, and saw the call coming a mile away all day, decided to take a shower and do some laundry when I anticipated it. Called him back an hour later. He said "BM is picking them up", I replied "oh" (I also don't ask where the skids are anymore when they don't show up after school because no one thought it was important enough to tell me if they had plans, I was just left out of that loop to assume they've been kidnapped or in an acciden).

Then DH says, "ya I just wanted you to know that BM was picking them up is all" and I said "was I supposed to? I wasn't asked" and DH said "no". When SS's got home one of them asked "can you pick us up from school tmrw?" (So I'm assuming BM planted that seed with the skids on her way home, because they would have checked with their dad first for anything). I didn't have to get them that day, but got a call the next day from DH asking me too as he was 1hr out of town at a job. Lastly, I was asked to pick up ss from school on BM's time because he was sick. I got snappy with that one and told DH to figure shit out with his ex because I'm not a f*cking chauffer and she works from home.

So far, I have hair cuts booked for my daughter at the same time school is out, and I will be magically "busy" during those times. I've been blunt, now I'm just going to be MIA.

So I think the last one where

So I think the last one where ss was sick, was because BM got the call from school, called DH, DH called me. BM is blocked on my phone. Also, years ago I picked up ss from school when he was sick and BM sh!+ her pants on DH asking why I am picking him up and she wasn't getting the call, so damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Just say NO

Not your job to fix there screws ups. BM will not control you. No,no no

I was slowly turning into a

I was slowly turning into a kid chauffer for various reasons and onte of the last straws was YSD shunning me at an event that was a direct result of me driing her every week for the practices and then various other things because DH was too busy or "it was just on your way home" thing.

Another big thing that ended me driving kids around was me having ZERO say in the scheduling. This was the biggie. I finally told DH after an argumnet where he insisted I pick them up because he was too tired to deal with driving them and that they were ALREADY late that that was the FINAL time I do it if I am not asked or involved in the planning BEFORE it happens.

NOPE. We are now down to one car and DH still does the YSD driving around.

I do a fair amount of

I do a fair amount of chauffeur duty, but I am fully involved in the planning and decision-making for activities. (I now would like to step back from both authority AND responsibility, but that's a separate issue.)

Having zero authority and full responsibility as SM should be intolerable, and having zero authority as wife would mean for me that the marriage can't continue.

It seems like a dirty move, acting like BM... but with these H's who will throw SM under the bus to keep the peace with BM - well, you know what his currency is: his own comfort.
You can take back power in your marriage by being the bigger bitch. You also have his kids, and he stands to lose a lot by you as well as by her. Know your power.