Resentful and on the edge
Where to start... I'm at the end of my steam.
my SS12 is a lazy, entitled, compulsive liar and I think I actually hate him. He is manipulative and he gaslights us everyday where we are truly confused with what is reality.
i hate my situation I really do.
but the worse part is I feel stuck. I am stuck. I hate myself for getting stuck for taking him on and telling my partner that I would mother this brat 2 years ago.
BM not in the picture so niavlely in the throws of love I Agreed I'd love and take care of his two sons with him as if they were my own. With my daughter that is 3 children and I have even put aside my own want of another bio child to one side to accommodate this awful sh*t of a kid. I'm so angry at myself - how could I have been so stupid and naive. I feel depressed and lonely - when he enters the room I scurry away because his presence makes me feel uncomfortable and now I'm a prisoner in my own home. I'm 30 and I'm angry I allowed myself at 28 to get into this situation and put myself last for these children I thought I'd grow to love. Tbf the younger boy is a lovely boy , kind gentle and good natured but the older one is not a nice kid at all. My life is stress everyday with argument between him and his dad and me and everyone suffers because of the brat.
im stuck living with someone I loath full time and no where to go.
just for context I have disengaged but don't find my silence and absence from the house easier in some ways harder.
please help I'm on the edge and I hate my life and I hate myself.
If you hate your life, change
If you hate your life, change it. You might love your partner, sadly that is not enough to sustain relationship. Not a happy one anyway.
Live apart?
I know what it is like to be in a home where you can't stand your stepchild. I had a huge dh problem as well. You are not trapped. You cannot live with someone you hate for 6 more years even if your partner is wonderful. Please consider living apart. For your mental health.
i was in a similar position
i was in a similar position to you at the beginning of the year,, DH and I had 3 kids between us ,, SS28 who is a lovely young man, very kind and responsible and I adore him, my son who is BS18,, same again , kind and lovely respectable young man and many people thought they were brothers from the same parents,,,, then comes the youngest SS13..... the most disrespectful entitled rude manipulating lying stealing vindictive brat ive ever come across !! I too was basically his primary parent as the BM is absolutely useless and had moved on with another man and had other children so she isnt the slightest bit interested in the first child she had and DH worked 7 days a week most weeks. I felt so stuck and used up for years, i gave up travel that i had always wanted to do when my son turned 18, i gave up all my spare time as this brat couldnt be trusted to be left alone in the house for 1 minute . I would cringe everytime I saw this kid enter a room , he made me so uncomfortable in my own home and he had a knack of making most people uncomfortable as he was so entilted and had to be the centre of attention the WHOLE time , if he wasnt acknolwledged he would have a tantrum or become extremely vindictive and make you 'pay' for not giving him attention. Everyone in the household suffered because of this shit head kid , even my own son stopped coming home when the kid came from BMs (week on week off). Then i realised i had more power than i thought , i wasnt stuck and this child wasnt mine and if the BM wasnt around , his father would have to do everything. Well It didnt last long anyway after i cracked it as DH prioritised work over my feelings and continued to ignore it. I ended it one day when i approached the kid after he stole money from me after going through my bedroom draws, he then slammed the door on my face ,,,,when i called DH immediately and told what hed done and to come home and deal with his son,, he told me he was too busy to do so WTF,, well i dropped the kid off at Daddys work and left ! You DONT have to be stuck and you DONT have to be the kids primary carer,, you DID NOT sign up for a lying manipulating disrespectful little brat and you SHOULDNT feel obligated to look after him! DH can take him to work if the BM isnt around and look after him there. Cut off your caring resources or you will still be 'stuck' when the kid is 18 and your a shell of a person left . goodluck and care about yourself and your child first
Life is much too short to
Life is much too short to tolerate living a life you hate. I suggest that if you want to preserve your relationship with your partner, then you consider separating households for the time being, and find a place with your daughter.
Good news! This is not your
Good news! This is not your kid and you are allowed to change your mind. It's not your job to mother this child. Let go and move on - at 30 you have plenty of time to find a guy with no kids and start a family of your own.
You aren't stuck - fear is making you think you are. Work through that and the path out will be clear.
You also have a DH problem
"disrespectful entitled rude manipulating lying stealing vindictive brat ive ever come across "}}
Your DH is letting him be rude, manipulative. Letting him lying and stealing. He not parenting his DS. He is not turning his DS into a person. Until DH sits on SS and parent him it's going to be like this. It's time yo have that talk with DH that it's either SS or You.
Sometimes
The "baby" of the family gets all the coddling. He learned this all from somewhere...
If you hate your life, start figuring out how to change it - dont let fear shackle you to this situation.
What is your partner doing about his son?
Get nanny cams, then pop some corn and show your partner what he has created and raised. Then get your finances together and leave.
If you hate your life change
If you hate your life change it. Sadly love is not enough. I know from experience. A spoiled, poorly behaved, entitled kid can make or break your relationship. Your happiness and life satisfaction are very important.
Oldrosie
You are not stuck! You hate your life, you hate yourself. Let's turn this around. SS is not yours thank the lord for that.
Move onwards upwards. I did and it is grrrreat. I hated my mini wife SD so much. I would rather kneel on rice for hours than see her ugly face. Soon that is how I felt towards my soon to be ex DH. Well that and he cheated on me with hippo BM. My point is you are not happy. Your SS will always, always rub you the wrong way. Soon that feeling will shift to your DH because SS is the way he is because of him.
Do not hate yourself. Love yourself so much that you move towards a better life. You are not stuck. Stuck is being in quicksand. This situation you can move from.Do not let them ruin your life.
Why stay with the moron who
Why stay with the moron who caused this trainwreck of a failed family breeding experiment? He is the parent. He is responsible for the outcome of his failed parenting.
You are young, take your daughter and get on with your life.