Help with discovery
Does anyone have any good resources for handling discovery pro se?
DH receives CS from BM because of the great disparity in income. He was laid off in July due to COVID and hadn't had any luck finding another full time job. He's getting some freelance work but it's not the income he had before. He reported his unemployment to CS and they filed for a review. BM's response was to file for contempt because DH hasn't paid the invoices BM submits to him for unreimbursed medical bills, his half of their son's car insurance and his half of the health insurance BM carries on the kids (which DH is ordered to do in their decree).
We can't afford an attorney and legal aid in his area doesn't handle family court matters. There is an attorney on his case from CS but I'm planning on him not helping for anything else.
Today DH got interrogatories from BM's lawyer. They want the usual expected stuff like bank account info, etc. I haven't looked through the papers yet so I don't know what else there is.
DH is going to need to figure out how to file his own interrogatories and I thought maybe someone here may have some experience or good resources online.
FWIW, his are going to be very boring. He has a checking account, one mutual fund from his dad and that's it. Oh, he's an authorized user on one of my credit cards.
Thank you!
I can't help, my state makes
I can't help, my state makes it super easy for people to get lots of child support without an attorney.
You have to understand - many of us are married to men whose exes feel entitled to their money just as you feel your SO is entitled to BM's - "because they were a SAHP and supported their career", because they "can't find a job", because they are "high risk" and don't want to work during a pandemic. It's pretty frustrating to be on the receiving end of someone filing for more of your money because they don't want to work a minimum wage job, which is why you are getting the reactions you are. Perhaps it's fair in your case, I don't know - but your reasoning is the exact reasoning all the money -hungry BMs on this board use - that they are entitled to and deserve it, and are victims of the mean old ex. Meanwhile they do nothing to contribute themselves.
I hope at the very least, your SO is taking this time to go back to school online and get a more marketable degree so he can support his children, instead of relying on BM. And he needs to take a minimum wage job if that's available to him. He chose to give up his career to be a SAHP, the emphasis on CHOSE - so he can't lean on that forever.
I get it...
Believe me, I get it. But DH didn't run to CS yelling he wants more support. He reported his unemployment to them and BM as he's supposed as required by his divorce decree -- just like BM filed contempt for him not paying the invoices according to the decree. CS recalculated the support.
He's not sitting around twiddling his thumbs, doing nothing -- he's applying for anything he can and talking freelance work. He's locked into living in his mountain town to keep the kids in the school district (per the divorce decree). If he took a minimum wage job, the outcome would be the same because it's a simple calculation by the state. BM makes over $150k and if DH makes $25k, she's going to pay more CS than she is now.
DH doesn't feel entitled to BM's money. He wants to be at the point where he doesn't have anything to do with her. But BM doesn't get to have it both ways -- she can't dictate that he live in a very expensive area and do without CS. DH has been working for the past 8 years -- at multiple low wage jobs because that's all he could find until he got his last job.
There's no way for DH to go back to school. I mean, if we can't afford a lawyer, do you really think we can afford college tuition? He has a fine degree in marketing with a lot of experience. Everyone saying just go get a job is obviously not out looking because it's brutal.
And attacking him because people assume he's just lazy and doesn't want to do anything but live off BM really doesn't help with my trying to learn how he can file interrogatories himself.
Yeah, again, I don't know. NY
Yeah, again, I don't know. NY makes it simple to file for CS and to respond to it (they send a list of what you need to bring in terms of finances). DH went pro se for the most recent money grab from BM (who makes 100K herself and is enabling a Failure to Launch 20-year-old to keep the cash rolling in) and he just brought all they asked him to and argued his face off, to no avail.
My state also has court forms online, yours might as well.
Seems like BM was at least willing to cover the medical stuff while he's unemployed, since she didn't take him back to court. Now he will likely get ordered to take care of that as well.
The issue is...
That BM had never sent supporting documentation for these bills, except for one receipt showing she paid for their 18 year old to go to the chiropractor. She was told about this before so she's aware of what she needs to send and doesn't do it.
The son's car insurance? That's not something DH is legally obligated to pay.
The therapist that wouldn't discuss the son's account without the son signing paperwork? The son quit going and didn't sign the paperwork so DH couldn't even find out if he could file something himself with insurance.
BM can look for whatever she wants but DH is not in contempt because he didn't have the ability to pay and BM didn't do her part in the first place.
Agreed on the car insurance.
Agreed on the car insurance. He will likely have to pay for the therapy though - his son has a right to not allow him information.
Our experience was that regardless of how BM mishandled it, DH was ordered to pay.
DH...
Has no issue with paying what he owes. He just wants to see the documentation and is hoping the judge will put him on some kind of payment plan until he's fully employed again.
For the therapy, I think it's fair to ask the son to allow access to only discuss the charges and filing with insurance. DH is very supportive of his son getting help but BM had the son go to an out of network therapist that charges either $75 or $120 per session, with DH's monthly share being between $150 and $600, depending on how often the son went. For someone struggling to make ends meet, finding an additional $500 a month is a challenge.
We had a situation where BM
We had a situation where BM got SS glasses from an out of network provider - DH contested that and they made him pay anyway, because the bill existed and needed to be paid. Next time she did use a network provider and he owed $14 instead of over $100.
*Here, this may help you.
*Here, this may help you. Maybe it wont.
----What work does your husband do that he lost his job because of covid?
https://www.civillawselfhelpcenter.org/self-help/lawsuits-for-money/disc...
We went through all of this
We went through all of this many years ago. We did have the guidance of our killer shark attorney but went through the CS review Pro Se. The DA's office is the one that drives all of the interrogatory information requests in Spermland courts. Both parties were supposedly required to provide all of the information requested by the DA.
We complied, the Spermidiot not only did not comply, he ran from the Constable who was attempting to serve him with the court summons for the CS review activity.
At that point the DA asked my DW if she could provide them with information on the Spermidiot. So, we went zero secrets on his ass. She had his SS#, bank accounts information, etc... from when they were together 10 or so years before. As a CPA she is extremely detail oriented and very adept at research so.... she found out just about everything there was to know about the Spermidiot and provided it all to the DA. Employer, criminal records, income, under the table jobs, etc, etc, etc..... We also used a PI to clearly document his skitchy bullshit. The DA issued a new CS order raising the Spermidiot's CS obligation for my SS from $133/mo to $785/mo.... all with zero input or participation from the Spermidiot.
Based on our experience with a CS review I would not provide any information to BM's attorney that the CS review authority does not require from both parties.
As for insurance premium costs.... the COd CS amount should address this. In our case, the Spermidiot was required to provide insurance for SS, which he never did. So... I always provided insurance coverage for SS through my employer provided medical insurance benefits. The CS amount included the Spermidiot's half of the costs for me to cover SS on my benefits. I recommend that you do so research into the original CS order to see if insurance premiums were addressed in the original order.
As for any participation in medical costs not covered by insurance..... this may not be the purview of the family law courts or CS process. It depends on your jurisdictional rules and specific original CO.
In our case... the ball-less idiot in the stupid Harry Potter robes slinging the wooden Fisher-Price infant hammer... refused to address the Spermidiot not reimbursing us for his share of medical expenses not covered by insurance by telling us to take it to small claims court and that he would not tolerate that crap complicating the family law court elements of our situation.
If that is the case in your jurisdiction, that puts the onus for collecting any reimbursements from your DH on BM outside of the family courts.
Good luck.