Doomed or stepmom to the rescue?
Does anyone feel like your the only one that cares what is happening in your Skids life?! Like where is the BM and DH mind at?
Never thought I would have to teach kids how to shower and have proper hygiene. Had to teach SD how to properly wash her hair and that toilet paper needs to be flushed and not thrown in the waste basket.
Never thought I would have to teach them how to utensils to eat instead of their hands and to eat over their plate. (Now eating with their mouth open and eating like a slob is a whole mother chore)
Never thought I would have to teach kids how to play outside instead of being on IPad/Tv
I work 10-14 hour days and so does he and I can still see issues that need to be dealt with at home with Skids.
BM has every electronic thing possible in every kids room to keep them busy so she doesn't have to deal with them. If the kids are hungry she does take out or has them make their own ramen or pizza rolls. She also makes sure to keep finding a replacement maid/housekeeper in boyfriends because she is inadequate. Which usually they are the biggest losers ever living off of unemployment or something.
Maybe I should give a shit less. I dunno
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We see SS8 6 weeks per on a
We see SS8 6 weeks per on a long distance schedule. I cannot tell you how many times DH and I experienced this with SS. We noticed that his shower/bath habits were poor. Come to find out, BM wrote out how to shower and taped it to the shower wall... so DH put SS in a swim suit and gave him a loofah and showed him how to scrub. SS was also chewing on his toothbrush when brushing his teeth. BM never taught him how so DH grabbed his toothbrush, put toothpaste on it and made SS mimic how DH brushed his teeth. Now there aren't anymore issues. Kids aren't born knowing these things and lazy parents think they can just give them a book or write something down rather than take 5 minutes to teach them how. SS is worthless on chores because BM never made him do any or teach him the proper way to do them. We are literally training an 8 year old on how to be a functioning person.
I could've written this post,
I could've written this post, it's been the same experience for me. I had to teach SD7 to wipe after using the toilet, to wash her hands, to bath/shower, change clothes (she'd wear the same clothes and underwear for a week) wash/brush/tie up her hair, use cutlery and table manners, play outside or with toys, stop sucking her fingers... the list goes on. She's only happy if she has a screen 4 inches from her face and preferably more than one screen! She'd never done a chore in her life. No rules, boundaries, or consequences. Not even a bedtime, she'd just go to bed with a screen and stay awake as long as possible (usually after midnight). Her parents didn't give a d*mn about teaching her any of that stuff. And I'm an evil b*tch for picking up their slack.
I'm not sure how your an evil
I'm not sure how your an evil bitch but I give you props for stepping up doing this. When I'm seriously pissed off from doing all this I often lash out asking why did you two have kids? Maybe I'm the evil bitch for asking that
Because SD7 doesn't like
Because SD7 doesn't like doing any of those things so she has a big cry about it to her parents. Her mum tells her it's child abuse. Her dad thinks I'm expecting too much of SD7.
I swear they got her to a point where she can dress, toilet, and feed herself and decided their job was done.
Yes I feel like this often.
Yes I feel like this often. DH is a very caring and good Dad, but I do alot more than he does, and BM is a f*cking joke of a Mother, although in her own eyes, she's Mother of the Year.
I got sick of my SS's not being able to cut their own food at the ages of 10 and 11 so finally taught them how to do that (DH would just cut for them still like they were toddlers, it's pancakes man, I think they can handle it! ugh)
Had to get on DH to teach them how to tie their shoes since I was sick of searching for velcro and slip ons. Also way past the point where they should have learned this...at least SD learned at the age of 5, she's alot more keen than the boys though, and wants to do things on her own, and learn things, where SS's are happy as sh*t to just let everyone baby them. Not to toot my own horn haha but I do believe it's becuase I came into her life when she was 2, she had a lot less exposure to BM druggie days too.
I have to teach them to take care of their things, how to clean their rooms and make their beds, how to brush their hair (just last night SD's hair was a rats nest because she dind't brush it all week at her BM's house, and who knows if she showered, doubt it) I've taught her how to shower. Had to teach them we don't put food in the waste baskets in our bedrooms or the bathroom cause then they go moldy when you're at your BM's house and your room reeks. Taught them they need to change their underwear EVERYDAY. The list goes on.
These kids were throwing banana peels on my floor when I first met them I kid you not!
So ya, I feel ya.
Omg I want to give you a hug!
Omg I want to give you a hug!!!! I just did a clean out for my SD room and it took 12 hours of cleaning and organizing. DH took care of his sons room thank god which was full of rotten apples and garbage. I shit you not I took 2 garbage bags that go up to my boobs full of shit out of her room. She must be a pack rat as well and a food hoarder. I found my bra pads, candy wrappers, my wedding list all over her room. I was blown away, disgusted. So I help clean her room and I tell her to start cleaning and wiping things down and she is like um no, I think you can do it! it took a lot of strength to politely you can do it, it's your room.
Don't even get me started on how behind the couch looks which I have been after them for 3 years about. Eff!!!
so glad I'm not the only one in this situation
hahaha oh man that sounds
hahaha oh man that sounds like me this past weekend when we dind't have SK's. I decided to do a big clean of their bedrooms and TV room cause I hadn't done a big clean in a long time and it took me all weekend. We do make them clean their rooms every weekend on our week, but they do a shit job.
I decided I'd get them spick and span and going forward we'll be checking after they do their chores. I don't think it's too much to ask for them to tidy their rooms and expect that includes dusting and vacuuming, and taking out the million dishes and garbage bin? I don't give out any other chores. To them clean your room means go in there and shove everything out of place into drawers and in the closet and your done.
Sometimes I'm like am I the only one who gives a rats ass if these kids know how to take care of themselves as they grow up?
Next up - how to do my own laundry
Lol yup me and you are living
Lol yup me and you are living the same lives. If you were near me I'd bring booze and say let's do this!!!
Sometimes, yes.
Sometimes, yes.
DH is lazy and kind of clueless about what should be expected of kids at different ages. BM babies SS big time. I taught him to tie his shoes, make a sandwich...
He'll do things like somersault over the ottoman and land by the brick fireplace and DH doesn't even notice. Neither parent realized he was getting up at 2 am to play video games on school nights. Guess who figured it out?
They love him. But it seems like neither one pays much attention or wants to put in effort to correct behavior or teach him how to do things.
BM told the kids to not flush
BM told the kids to not flush toilet paper at our house. Because its abuse you know to talk to them about using too much toilet paper and that they need to tell an adult ASAP if they clog the toilet.
There is no way I'd work 10
There is no way I'd work 10-14 hours a day and raise someone else's kids for them.
Not your responsibility! DH
Not your responsibility! DH and BM need to be teaching SKs those things. If not, oh well. Disengage.
I'm still laughing at the
I'm still laughing at the flushing toilet paper child abuse scandal! I hear you. Amazing how adults that seem decent, inlelligent and hygenic human beings can fail to get the message across to their offspring to wash hands/brush teeth/wipe bottoms by themselves. My SKs are now 11 and 13. Do you think after 97,000 times of being told to practice basic hygeine that they might one day learn? Not a chance, after 4 years of my experience of B.0. (both), hairy underarms (SD), teeth cleaning (both), closing the door for doing poos (SS), using air freshener (both), washing hands after toilet and before touching the fridge (SS). They are rather disgusting and I doubt will change. Yuk! Another reason to disengage the h**l away!
For those reasons, I never touch food that SKs have touched!