Confusion of partners ex
So recently, my partners ex has stated she doesn't want him in their child's life anymore. Yet she expected him to call for her birthday, didn't because he broke his phone. Phone is fixed now. It's been a month without hearing a word from her, yet I was informed today by my partner that she called his dad last night. Informing them that she hasn't heard from him and basically trying to get his dad and partner on her side to make him see her.
she says that my partner can't see his daughter pretty much every month. When ever it suits her really. Anyways, I get extremely stressed out with his ex, as she's constantly using her child to make my partner feel bad. She bad mouths me and refers to my child, partner is the father, as the "other child".
he doesn't want to take her to court, but is there anyone that's had a similar experience? Or have an idea what to do next?
Without a Custody/Visitation
Without a Custody/Visitation/Support order you and your partner will eternally be the BM's victims and she will jerk you both around by the short and curlies. A CO will give your partner a clear framework for containing BM's bullshit and managing the interface between your family and his failed family progeny daughter.
No CO, no relationship. Give your partner clarity on this.
Your SO needs to grow a pair and come down on BM like a ton of crap in a one pound bag. His child needs to see dad being confident and hear the facts regarding her blended family background. Including BM's toxic bullshit.
Good luck.
He needs a court order so she
He needs a court order so she can stop using his child as a pawn. He would easily be granted a basic every other weekend schedule at least, maybe more if he wants it.
He can start by threatening to take BM to court if she doesn't voluntarily agree to a set visitation schedule.
Echo
Im going to echo the others. Does he not want a court order because he is afraid of the costs? He can file for minimal cost. Is he afraid because he is trying to avoid child support? Well, he needs to suck it up buttercup.
A court order will create a spot of order out of the chaos. You can do a lot in those court orders... including requiring no bad talk of the bio parents. Its worth it.
He needs to get a CO. If he
He needs to get a CO. If he doesn't care enough to get a CO, then he just needs to bow out of this child's life and stop playing these games with the mother.