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MIL FAKING BEING SICK TO AVOID LEAVING

decofru's picture

So I had a talk with my DH about how depressing and how uncomfortable it is living with both his mother and my step son under the same roof. I feel like an outsider in my home and I'm just not comfortable. He seemed to understand then he spoke to MIL last week Friday and told her she is to go back to her eldest son's house for a few months while he tries building her a home where she will stay. (I have no idea where he will get the money to build her a home because we don't even have a home of our own we are living in a leased apartment) 

 

So the next day on Saturday MIL played sick, well DH believes she is sick but I don't buy it. Its too much of a coincidence. DH took her to the clinic and they gave her medication but it seems not to be working. So today she was supposed to leave but because she played sick she has bought herself sometime. DH is now saying he can't have his mom travellin when she isn't feeling well so we will have to wait until she feels better and my guess is that day is never going to come as long as MIL means being better means leaving. 

 

This just depresses me so much, my home doesn't feel like home anymore.  I'm sick of having to greet her every morning, afternoon and evening, Im sick of having to hear her acting like vice boss in the house, she will be yelling to the kids as if she is in charge. Im the woman of the house I don't want another woman yelling in the house except me. 

 

I just don't know what to do..was thinking of waiting at least a week, if by then DH can't see that his mom is faking then i will pack a few belongings and move out for sometime so I can be away from MIL. I'm starting to be resentful of her and DH because of her unwelcome presence in my home. 

Comments

I Need A Bubble Bath's picture

Being a wife is hard, not being a 1st wife is harder. Being a SP is thankless. Being a care-giver to family who makes you feel unwanted is soul crushing. I'm not ddefending your DH, but he most likely feels obligated or guilted to care for your MIL. There is also a reason MIL doesn't want to go to BIL's house. 

If possible go to the next Dr's appoint with her and DH. Ask the right questions - Is she able to travel? Is she able to care for herself? If the answers are no, ask when she should be able to do these things, then make plans with your DH and BIL to get her moving as soon as she is able. If the answers are yes, then help her pack. 

Good luck and good thoughts!

tog redux's picture

She can't keep up faking forever. As soon as she starts yelling at everyone, out she goes.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

If you leave, you'll be the bad guy. On the other hand, if MIL is sick, well, she needs to stay in her room in case she's contagious. And she should only be given invalid foods like broth, crackers, applesauce, tea, water.etc. No outings, no tv in the living room. SHE'S SICK.

You could have a lot of fun with this. Beat her at her own game.