So, I'm an ahole and ruined father's day.

I knew it was a bad idea for me to go.  DH really wanted me to, and I was super anxious about it, and I tried.  I ended up getting fed up and grabbing my car keys and just leaving.  DH did follow me because I was leaving, otherwise he would have had to take an uber home.  His parents are old and frail and he really loves them.  I love them too and think they are nice people, but...

DH's sister (SIL), is an ahole in general and her husband is an abusive cop.  Thankfully he wasn't home.  But at their cores, SIL, BIL, MIL, and FIL are low key mainstream racists, and that's hard for me to handle.  It's not my place to correct anyone's racist remarks as a guest in their home, but it did piss me off, majorly.

Then SIL has a grudge against DH for alleged favoritism shown to him when they were children by MIL's parents, which DH was oblivious to.  So as a 45 year old woman, she acts like a jealous sibling and has to get her digs in where she can.

MIL has a grudge against DH, the same as SIL, but she only vents to me about what a POS DH is, ad nauseam, when we are alone together, and she privately feeds into SIL's grudge.  Petty AF.

Everyone hates Satan, and when DH and I first got together, I spent many hours over the course of several months listening patiently while MIL and SIL vented about her before I even had a clue myself that she was toxic.  Apparently that gave them both closure and now they never want to think about her anymore.  I'm pretty much over her myself, since she's gotten her comeuppance, but I did think it was news worthy when Mealticket finally dumped her, and I thought good news they would enjoy.  The first news in many years.  SIL accused me of being obsessed, and told me I should get over it.  Furthermore, she said if Satan is so evil, why aren't we protecting Killjoy from her.

As in, not letting Satan see Killjoy, which we have to do because of the CO.  And also, it seemed like she was hinting of our plan to kick Killjoy to the curb when she is of age, at which point, she can go live at college and spend her breaks with her beloved Satan.  SIL must've gotten that info from MIL, since DH and SIL never talk.  So it seems MIL doesn't approve of our descision probably.

Killjoy is not a defenseless toddler, FFS.  She made her bed.

In the past, MIL and SIL have both spent time venting to me about what an ahole Killjoy is.  MIL's nickname for Killjoy was Little B!tch, and SIL's was Little Brat.  Now MIL thinks Killjoy is funny and cute because she sends her cutesy texts, and MIL loves the attention.  The fact that Killjoy is a monster and MIL knows why I booted her don't matter now anymore.  I gave no indication that it bothered me, but it was annoying AF.  MIL is frail and probably doesn't have much time left.  I'm torn whether to be compassionate to my loved ones, or avoid them.  Just the implication that I should welcome Killjoy back into my life made me feel like I had an elephant standing on my chest.  That was when I got up and left.  We didn't even make it to dinner.

DH was sad.  Who knows how many father's days FIL has left.  DH is such a sweet, kind person.  I feel like I kicked a puppy.

DH knows how I feel about SIL, he feels the same, going to her house was really a bad idea.  I have a hard enough time tolerating the racism when we see MIL/FIL.  And maybe MIL and SIL should "get over" their petty grudge from thirty years ago.  Hypocrites.

ETA: Come to think of it, SIL is the one who brought up Satan when she asked why DH didn't have Killjoy for father's day.  (It is Satan's weekend so they traded mother's day for father's day).  Then SIL wondered why Satan sees Killjoy at all, and we explained Satan's plan to have Killjoy support her after graduation.  Then SIL asked what happened to Mealticket.  Then it all went downhill from there.