So this afternoon a package arrives at the house, DH mentioned it was addressed to me from YSD

Very strange indeed

She never sends anything to me or contacts me in any way unless it's a Christmas or Birthday thing...usually late/crappy and always seemingly done to make her look good while sticking it to me

In strong comparison to the gifts sent to DH, generally very nice and on time with the most sickenly loving notes about how much they love and miss him, thank him for all his support, etc.. and she always makes sure to sign them from her, SSIL, SGD, SGS and even the cat!

Any 'gift' sent to me simply says something like "To Disillslusioned, from YSD" No Love YSD, no XO even. Let alone all the loving wonderful things like what she sends DH

I open the package and it's in what looks like a Valentine Gift Bag. Hearts, love written on the bag, etc.... I thought for a second she had sent me a Valentine's Gift! LOL

I was so confused!

I open that and there's a candle, and a card. 

I open the card. 

It's a Condolence Card (my Mom died almost two months ago?) but even stranger - it's addressed to "Dad and Disillusioned" 

So I say to DH no this isn't for me really, although its a Condolence Card for my Mother's death. It's addressed to Dad and Disillusioned. Which is okay I guess but irratating since it was my mother who died not DH's. And all the wonderful stuff written on it is what she normally writes for DH and DH alone. She's made it clear over the years that I don't matter, I'm not considered part of her family and she certainly doesn't love me as such, in fact not at all. Generally can't even so much as say hello, goodbye, thank you for anything to me let alone love you or you're the best or all the other stuff she says to DH in my presense and only DH while again not so much as even a greeting or thank you to me for anything

I say to DH I'm thinking this is really more for you DH since as you know, YSD never ever writes Love on anything for me, not so much as an XO let alone "sending you tons of love etc..." like she wrote on this card. These are things she does when she sends you something not I. And seeing it was written to "Dad" and Dissillusioned cleary for the both of us but as usual really for you

Her little stunt actually made me angry. 

She is the queen of passive agressive, goes to great lenghts to make it look like she's just falling over backwards and realy being so nice to me, until her true colours come out (and these days I no longer play into this game I call a spade a spade and not shy to say it directly to DH) 

I figured he would jump to defend her, and how she didn't mean it that way yada yada and that was over the top sweet and nice of her to do, I was being mean and so on, and he did start in on defending her a little but it seemed to die out quick, especially as he knows she never writes anything like that to me. Nothing like she says to DH and while she will hang up every call telling DH she loves him, on the rare occasion her and I have a phone conversation she's off the phone as soon she can and never a hint of the old love you routine. Unless it's a call that DH & I are both on, she always makes sure to say "Love you both"

Anyway, DH will expect a thank you and of course I will acknowledge it sent she did at least include my name. Wouldn't have been surprised if it were addressed to DH and only DH! But if she's looking to look like a hero in front of DH and have us grovel about how wonderful she is, Not Happening. A pleasant "what a lovely card and gitt, you didn't need to do that, and yes DH and I do miss my mother very much" is about all I think I can muster