Thoughts on SS14 Super weird questions?

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SS14 and older SD live with us full time. BM threw SS14 out of the house because he was violent.

I would say for the last 6 or 7 months SS14 has been asking JUST me really odd questions.

About 60 percent of the time I bring/make food for SS14 he will eye the food and say to me " did you poison my food". I say no and why would you think that? SS14 will roll his eyes and say " I never know with you". I have NO clue what he means by this.

The Creepiest thing is SS14 has been asking daily how I would Prefer to die. SS then will give two choices like Blown up by Nuclear bomb or falling from cliff. He will also ask would I rather freeze to death or burn to death. SS14 will say these things totally random. I show no reaction in case he's doing it to get a negative reaction from me. Most of the time I'll ignore him or answer him calmly neither and walk away.

So is the spawn of Satan planning my demise or is he just trying Irritate me??? PS I'll be locking my bedroom door at night...

If he seems to be focused on

If he seems to be focused on a lot of dark topics.. like how people die... and with a history of violence.. I am assuming your DH has him in therapy???

When he asked if you poisoned him.. I would probably be the one to kind of be smart alec about it.. "um.. nooooo.. I don't think I mixed up the arsenic with the sugar?? did I??? Noooo.. yeah.. No.. I think it's safe.. pretty sure.. taste it.. does it taste funny to you??" no? good" or "Not unless you consider broccoli a poison". "No.. did you want me to?"

" did you poison my food"

" did you poison my food"

"Oh, dagnabbit, I KNEW I forgot something!"

"Do you think I should?"

"If I did, do you think I'd tell you?"

"Nah, much too easy to trace back to me ..." (leave that one hanging in the air lol)

"Oh.. no honey.. why would I

"Oh.. no honey.. why would I want to poison you.. I think I will keep you around for a while to just torture you slowly"

"I don't think it would be smart to poison a food supply!"

(No subject)

Does he

What does your DH have to say about all of this? I find this a little alarming and would probably have him get some therapy if he isn't getting it already. What type of violence was he doing while living with his mom? Good on you for locking your door at night but that would definitely be unsettling for sure.

When I told DH and DH Confronted

SS he just told DH he was joking. At his mother's house he was Threatening to beat her up if he did not get his way.

Therapy is definitely in

Therapy is definitely in order here.
the poisoning thing... Esmod had some great suggestions.
you can also tell him if that's what he's worried about that you will eliminate his worry by not preparing any meals for him. He can make his own damn food. Sounds like he is just trying to ge a rise out of you.

the creepy questions... could be just a weird faze and looking for shock value.

But given the history of violence I would talk to a specialist to make sure he is not having fantasies about hurting people or himself.

What does your DH say? Does

What does your DH say? Does he not believe you or ignore it?

Have you tried recording any of it?

Yes have told DH

I have mentioned it to DH BUT when DH confronts the "little devil" SS14 will smile and say he was just joking. Hmmm I really doubt that BUT not sure if SS14 is just doing it to Irritate me or being Serious in a psycho kind of way.
I don't want to push the issue with DH as if SS14 is doing to just to piss me off I don't want to give the little bastard The satisfaction of thinking he is. BUT on the other hand if it's something more...

Have not tried recording SS as SS just says he's "joking" when DH confronts him

If your DH had half a brain,

If your DH had half a brain, he'd tell him to knock it off because it's not funny.

"Just joking" are SD11s

"Just joking" are SD11s famous last words! It irritates me to no end. It's her excuse of saying something mean or rude. I always tell her she's not funny. Her "jokes" have lessened a little bit.

Beyond creepy

I would get your lil Manson SS diagnosed ASAP. Dont want to see this on dateline!

Unsettling to say the least.

I have mentioned it to DH BUT

Then your DH needs to tell SS

Then your DH needs to tell SS to knock off the jokes because they're not funny. The next "joke" will be treated as if it were serious, and then he must follow through. It is absolutely NOT funny.

"Just joking" when the result is painful or harmful or dangerous is a form of emotional abuse. My ex was an expert.

Did you poison my food = he misses that meal. Would you rather die this way or that = a threat to your life, and authorities are called to intervene.

Be clear with your husband,

Be clear with your husband, "He's joking? Then tell him it's NOT FUNNY. Not " Your SM doesn't think it's funny, just 'it's not funny'. "

DH is ineffective in how he addresses the "little devil".

Time to set firm expectations for results regarding how DH deals with this crap.

Until the Spawn is 18 and out, you need to hold DH accountable for how the polished turd of a Skid behaves. These "jokes" are manipulation and that needs to be stopped. Even after the spawn is 18 & out, you need to hold DH accountable for keeping his failed family progeny from negatively impacting your life and marriage.

Good luck.

I really don't like the

I really don't like the sounds of this. He can tell your DH that he was joking, until he's blue in the face, but your DH has to tell him that you don't appreciate that type of humor, NOR does anyone else. He needs to be told by your DH in a firm and assertive manner, that he has to knock it off...immeditately! If he doesn't stop, then yes; time to haul his ass to a therapist! But YOU have to tell your DH, on no uncertain terms, that you are NOT comfortable with this type of conversation and the onus is on DH to deal with it, like a mature adult.

"did you poison my food"..

Deadpan" Yes... yes I did.. but since you called me on it.. guess I better toss it out. then dump his plate in the trash and walk away.. guess you better cook your own food bubba if you want to eat "poison free" food.. oh.. yeahh DH.. I was just kidding around gosh.. so sensitive!"

Any response to his stupid

Any response to his stupid questions is a reward. Don't answer, at all.

Also, stop making food for him.

What!

Madam...What part of your SS comments are funny? Your SS seems to think that if he calls it a joke, then it isn't threatening. It's his get out of trouble card, when he knows these sorts of comments are making you very uncomfortable and scared. He needs to be disabused of that idea yesterday and your DH needs to deal with him in the strongest possible way. I would let your SS know that he is threatening you with his "jokes" and they are to stop immediately or you will be calling the authorities to deal with him in the future. Also cameras and recording his "jokes" should start now.

This^^

BM was scared of the kid to the point where he is living with yo

BM was scared of the kid to the point where he is now living in your home, and your DH thinks it is acceptable for him to constantly ask you how you want to die? What is wrong with your DH? SS needs to be in therapy, and your DH needs to put an immediate stop to SS saying anything that makes you uncomfortable. Listen to your gut, it is trying to tell you there is something wrong with the way SS is acting towards you.

Be careful or you may wake up dead

Just an evolving opinion.

My thoughts?

SS should have an evaluation by a Child Psychologist. Time to rule a few things out.

The SS has been evaluated

The SS has been evaluated By Social workers, psychiatrists, and psychologists for the last 8 YEARS AND in therapy. A lot of good it's done. SS has been Diagnosed by these providers for everything from ADHD to Conduct disorder. BM use to LOVE taking SS to therapy. She lived for it as she used it as a way to play the poor me card im a single mother and my ex is a worthless dirtbag. BM still is NOT out of the picture. We think the only reason she threw SS out was she could not handle him and hoping to cause drama at our home. BM is STILL involved with school and goes to every therapy session that SS has.

As much good as a good therapist can do for a kid in need.

I am still mostly of the mind that much of these types of behavioral crap are due to crappy parents.

Set behavioral and performance standards. Enforce them, and apply accountability when a kid chooses to violate those standards.

It is pretty basic. The misery they experience for violating has to outweight the benefit they think they get from violating.

Historically..... lying, theft, vandalism, lippy back talk, harming a small child, harming a pet, failing to deliver adequate grades at school, poor behavior at school, violating the law, etc, etc, etc... were all belt to the ass offenses regardless of what the school punishments or court punishments may have been. When that was the case there weren't many child perpetrated homicides, etc, etc, etc, etc.... With the exception of maybe Lizzy Borden (who was an adult), the kind of crap that the permissive parenting, behavioral excuse syndrome of the month, coddle and love the kid through the crisis, etc.... model has delivered was pretty much unheard of. Now, with built in failed parenting excuses, this shit is increasingly predominant.

Nope, bring back the belt the the ass, grounding for the whole school year, shoveling gravel/dirt into buckets, carrying the buckets across the yard, dumping them on a new pile during personal time, then moving the pile back to the other side of the yard, standing for hours with a nose in a corner, and any other decidedly unpleasant consequence that makes it clear that compliance is pleasant and noncompiance is misery inducing. Betcha most of the syndrome of the month crap would go away.

IMHO of course.

I agree with you 100 percent

From what I've seen Therapists are pretty much worthless. They basically diagnose a bratty kid with some disorder so the brat gets a get out of jail card.

NOTHING would I like more than to call the police when SS makes his "Threats". I would love to see the little bastard Dragged physically out of the house kicking and screaming into the police car. Let him sit in the Emergency room for 12+ hours with nothing to do while Drs come in and Evaluate him. By then SS should be so Enraged they would keep him in the Psych ward. Let's see how spoiled brat likes that. Guaranteed he would think twice before making threats again.

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Thoughts on SS14 Super weird questions?