just need to vent
Life has been wonderful. Skids are all good, BM hasn't been a problem. SS(30) just got married, everyone was pleasant and got along just fine! It was a really lovely wedding, no drama, great speeches, happy, happy, happy.
Then we got a phone call from SD(33) saying to expect a call from BMs exBFs lawyer??
BM and her ex built a house and he's now suing her for his portion. He's saying that they had a working partnership, and a business agreement. That she violated that agreement, used building funds personally and misappropriated funds. So he should get $$$$ + $$$$ from the profits from the sale of the house. She's saying the business was only to get discounts, they were always building it as a couple, not a business venture, and furthermore he never really did anything so he should get less.
What's making me crazy is that they have not been together for almost 20 years and he still gets sucked into her BS. Why would her exs lawyer think DH knows anything that would help them in court?? DH thinks that it's because BM kept telling exBF that when she and DH were together and building houses this is how she did it and DH was fine with it.
So now if DH says yep, BM never kept any books or invoices and yes she spent money like water, didn't matter which account it came from, and exBF uses it in court to show a pattern of bad business practices the Skids will be livid with DH for throwing BM under the bus.
BM had to get multiple mortgages, including ones on her personal home, to finish and carry the house till it sold. She got a great price for it but all that profit is being held in trust and she's in big trouble. She needs that money and she needs it now. I just know she'll find a way to blame DH for this and it annoys the h*ll out of me.
I can't talk to anyone about this, so thanks for letting me rant.
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Comments
I would be in a mess too! I
I would be in a mess too! I can't believe she would even think to bring your DH into the nonsense to begin with. My way of thinking is just as yours also... if it goes south for BM the SK's could possibly take it out/blame DH.
only advice I have in this crazy situation is stay strong, and stand firm with your husband. I hope that the time together and your years in the family will soften any possible blow that could hit if this has a negative outcome.
yep, just say nope
Toxic troll is always trying to bring husband in the middle of her life.
Unless your DH gets a subpoena from the court, he is under no
Unless your DH gets a subpoena from the court, he is under no obligation to talk to the lawyer. If he wants to talk, he can, but he does not have to talk to the lawyer just because the lawyers asks him to.
If the XBF subpoenaed DH.
He may not have a choice but to testify.
That may give the chance for the SDs to be seasoned with the facts about mommy whether they like it or not.
And DH has the get out of jail free card with his daughters of having no choice but to tell the truth.
A win/win!
DH just need to keep
DH just need to keep repeating to that lawyer- I do not wish to participate in this. I will not be used as cannon fodder in their fight.
Unless your DH is subpoenaed,
Unless your DH is subpoenaed, he needs to politely but firmly tell exBF's lawyer to pound sand. If he does end up being subpoenaed, he needs to tell his kids before going to court what he is going to say and explain that he won't perjure himself to save BM. He'll tell the truth and she'll have to deal with those consequences. If the kids still get mad at him for that, then he'll have to accept that they'd rather live in fantasy land.
This is definitely something that would cause me a ton of stress, too. Don't let DH act like it doesn't or shouldn't stress you out. While it's not a mess he should be in either, it's definitely not your monkeys or circus. He needs to figure out how to handle this.
I would think that the
I would think that the testimony of an EX and a former EX would do little to establish any pattern and most courts would heavily weight the testimony that is coming from a "hostile party".
I would tell the lawyer's to also pound sand.. and that he has no peronal knowlege of any thing to do with their relationship or their financial dealings. And that he will not be a cooperative witness.. if they force the issue.. so they really need to consider not barking up this tree. That he shares kids with her.. and isn't interested in any more drama when it comes to his family.
Of course if forced to testify.. I would not perjur myself.. but would not go out of my way to recall many answers to the questions they asked.
Did she keep good records of your home purchase. "Gee? I don't know.. it was a long time ago.. I think there were some records.. not 100% sure if they were complete or not."
Did she mix personal purchases with things for the house? "She may have, I would have to go back and look at those records.. but again.. so long ago, it would be hard to recreate now right?"
It was a long time ago, I try to not think about the time I was married to my EX...lol.
I'm not totally sure at what point they can say you should recall.. when you say you don't remember..how can they prove you can? especially if talking a decade or more ago?
Thanks guys. I just needed to
Thanks guys. I just needed to get it off my chest, I hate talking to anyone about BM. I always sound so, I don't know, like I'm the one obsessed with her? I'm not but so much of what she does affects DH, which in turn affects me. You guys get it!!
So far nothing from the lawyer. Court was delayed, not sure why. SS said that BM used some of the 3rd mortgage $$ (she got 4 in total) to pay the mortgage on the house she owns and has owned since she and DH split up. So, yep, she totally misappropriated funds! SS said it was because she'd taken out a 2nd mortgage on that house and put the $$ towards the new build, so paying her mortgage on that house wasn't really misappropriation. DH had to explain to him why it most definitely was. SS isn't stupid and as soon as it was expained to him, he said "Ok, I get it now. That is not at all how BM explained it." I swear this woman makes up her own rules and then gets angry when no one else follows them!
DH has decided that if he's contacted he's simply going to say that he doesn't recall anything. He won't lie, but he won't give anything up. The lawyer will have to ask very direct questions and yes he's already told both SS and SD that he won't lie. They know him and know that he'd never lie in court. Neither will they when it comes to it. They just buy into BMs bull and her spin makes sense to them.