BM is totally useless.
So yesterday my partner said that his son 
wasn't well but hes still coming to stay with us.
The first thing I said was "are you sure that's the right thing to do?" Since I work at a hospital and dad doesn't get paid sick pay and also the UK is in the middle of an heatwave right which maybe the reason why the child is unwell but he assured me that he hadn't been sick since Saturday and wanted to come to ours. Thought nothing of it.
9pm came the child was still up and a bit restless I put it down to the heat as my apartment is very cool at the best of times. He finally fell asleep around his dad cane back out of his room the stirred once again complaining with tummy ache ( this has been happening quite alot the past few months as he's got into the habit of holding his poops in) 4am came he was still restless I ended up sleeping on the sofa as my partner was getting a bit frustrated by this time too.
So today my partner decided not to take him into school but to make sure the child wasn't lying about his stomach as he has done in the past to get out of school I said "fine bit your dad will have to take you to the doctors instead" after the child stopped having a tantrum over this my partner contacted BM for the doctors contact number to my absolute amazement she turned around and told him he's not even registered at one! I'm tired of it she piles his bag up with dirty laundry we actually bleached his clothes yesterday in the bath and the water was black, she's spending all the time going out and is even going to florida this year ( without her child) yet her son hasn't even got a proper bed to sleep on, my partner also said her flat is in dissarey. I blew up this morning. The child's fine now we managed to speak to a peadatrician and is sorted with medications but imagine if this turned out to be something serious!?
If you get too involved
You will have SS all the time, and still be paying BM. CS. She will really win this one.
Because a kid is sick that no reason for BF not to be taking care of him. It's his child too. To bad he got upset. Parents are not to get upset, they are supposed to parent. BM is a loser, but he married her and had a kid with her. He now must pull more weight.
You don't want SS full time, because he going to dump child care on you
Been there, done that. BM in
Been there, done that. BM in my life is a bit of a hypochondriac so the kids at least had a pediatrician, but they had some issues that were under-addressed (mental health and dental care) and others that were overly addressed (allergies and "asthma"). We'd also get the not-quite-clean clothes, requests for everything they needed like clothes and toiletries (and always last minute), etc.
Dad needs to take kiddo in for an actual appointment and establish care, provided he has medical decision-making. Even if BM should do it, she won't. He needs to accept that it will be on him to handle these things, and he just needs to handle them. It's BEYOND frustrating, but being very close to the other side of things (and being very cynical of family court and other agencies that "help"), all I can say is that it doesn't last forever.
Oh I've told him he's the
Oh I've told him he's the parent. She lied to us about taking him to the doctor a few months ago with a rash and the child ended with someone else's medicated cream likely from one of his family members. We cannot sign upto two gp's here and my partner was under the impression he was under one. So he called one of the NHS services who prescribed him medication. I was totally appalled.
My skids BM also does this
My skids BM also does this. Our SD18 finally went to the dentist at 18 and has 13 cavities. She spent her childhood bragging that she didn't have to go to the dentist because she was naturally healthy, She doesn't brush her teeth either. Well, apparently she has "drug resistance" to novocaine, and most painkillers, so she had to white knuckle it through the first 2 cavities being drilled, as the shots didn't work on her. Now she is terrified to go back for the rest of the cavities.
BM used to lie and say she took the kids to the doctor/dentist, then the skids would say the appointment got cancelled because BM didn't want to spend money on her high insurance deductible. Meanwhile, BM is taking extravagant vacays with her boyfriend of the month, buying new cowboy boots to go line dancing, spending money on drinks at the bar every night, buying new trucks, etc. The skids are walking around in shoes that are a size too small and have holes in them. It was astounding.
We funded her lifestyle with child support that cost us more than our rent every month, and she can't buy food for her own kids? It is a sad statement on mothers today.
That sounds familiar! We have
That sounds familiar! We have sc here for five days this week even though a few months back she was pleading for csa! My partners had to cancel work so who the hell is providing for him while he's here? Who's gonna pay for his food, heating and electricity while dad is cancelling work and not getting paid? I'm done.
She's also told us we'll have to have him 3 weekends in a row soon as she's on "training" for 4 whole days for work...she works in warehouse how could she possibly be training for 4 days straight? Another vacay I'm guessing!
I've told my partner I'm not doing this much longer I want to enjoy the money I work for instead of having their child in my ear saying "can you buy me this?" Both parents even had the cheek to say I owe the child £1 from the other day as he cleaned up and I told him I'd give him pocket money. My answer was "don't you think I give him enough?!".
If she cannot be there for
If she cannot be there for her child, she should be paying a babysitter to do so for her. She should not be dumping the child on your partner if he has to miss work to take care of him. What happens when he gets fired for unexpected absences?