Story time: Why some stepkids are just the worst and there is nothing you can do about it!
My mom's best friend is a SM. Her and her husband got married when her SS and I were 8 (same age, grew up together). SM and Hubs are like Aunt and Uncle to me, my kids even call them that. SM never had kids of her own but is VERY successful, so is the husband. They have lived a mostly childless life besides the every other weekend that he was awarded in court. The husband retired a few years ago and they moved to a beach town and have a couple of properties that they own (their home is AMAZING!).
Anyway, Husband tried to get custody a couple of times, BM is batshit crazy and the SS was purely a paycheck. In fact, she STILL gets alimony from a less than 7 year marriage that ended 35 years ago.
So, last night, the SS who is now 40, was going off on FB in multiple posts about how his dad is a POS and it is all the SM's fault. How his dad cheated on his mom, how the SM is heartless and only cares about money. On and on, it was UGLY and very inappropriate for anyone to post, let alone a 40 YEAR OLD MAN.
I commented and told him to take it down, his dad and SM love him and to air family business on social media is uncalled for. It really pissed me off because I know it was untrue and trying to slander genuinely good people that are prominent in their community was ridiculous.
He messaged me and went off on how hard his childhood was and how it was all SM's fault. I was reading it to DH and all I could say after every comment was- my SS17 is going to be saying this same crap one day. None of it true but with BM's like these, they believe it. Apparently even well into adulthood and being parents themselves. DH agreed, his son is going to act the same way and it doesn't matter what the actual truth is, SS17 believes it just like this grown man does.
PS- the reason the 40 yr old is mad is because his dad and SM are selling their smaller beach house that they had been renting instead of letting him move in there.
I knew that it was being sold and they were making 200K on the deal from my last visit with them- why on earth would they let him move into a beach house that they are selling so that he could just pay the $1300 mortgage because he doesn't want to be an electrician any more- he fishes for a living now and can't afford where they live as a fisherman in a tourist vacation spot.
The entitlement is astounding and I can tell you 100% that these are wonderful people. It will just never end and he is going to prevent his kids (the grandkids) from seeing them now because he didn't get his way. This is the 2nd time he has done something like this. The last time he didn't let them see his daughter for 2 years because his dad wouldn't give him 10K. Dad offered him a job at his company instead and he lost it.
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Sadly too many of us stepparents are a convenient scapegoat
No matter how ridiculous it is.
when i met my husband, his 2 daughters who would have been 18 & 8 had cut off contact 1 yr prior, biomum and my husband would have been divorced 5 yrs at that point (fyi bio mummwas having an affair with a married man and married him in secret whilst kids were in school as polygamy is allowed where they live in asia), anyways, skids knew their mum was cheating on their dad, eldest sd after 5.5 yrs of no contact says to my husband when reinitiating contact to forget everything biomum did, no apologies required just let it go.
i saw the warning signs early on, the ones my husband ignored that sd's were not genuine with us, they we're overdoing it to the point of faking it that they loved us etc when we'd only met once.
cue in barely a year later and eldest sd who was about 23 now, calls my husband fake crying clsiming daddy abandoned them to marry me and have 2 kids with me to replace them. Our kids were 1 & 2 at the time. Sd was completely oblivious and negating facts and truths that she and her sister actively made a choice to end contact with my husband
they play biomums rule book which is make daddy jump, cancel plans last minute so daddy jumps through hoops to prove to them they are #1. They didn't expect hubby to no longer cater for that.
i and my 2 kids aged 5 & 6.5 have had no contact with them for four years.
its a tiring unnecessary gamd
I can't believe the
I can't believe the entitlement of people today. No one is obligated to just give you a house. The parents worked hard for what they have and they should be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor however they want. I don't expect a penny from my parents, in fact I would much rather they use up all their money and enjoy themselves after working hard for decades.
I have a feeling
Bratty thinks she will inherit my house once we both pass. She doesn't know it's in a trust solely in my name and will pass to my estate, which she gets zilch from. Fron DH's estate, I get half with the other half divided up between his 3 kids equally. I am the executor.
I know your example is a bit different but I have a feeling Bratty will throw an adult hissy fit when she discovers she is not inheriting a giant fortune as daddy's favorite golden child.
EGADS
Stories like this demonstrate how perceptions of stepworld are so out of touch with reality.
SD23 Feral Forger - no contact and only calls/texts when needs something. Of course hates me. And guess what - she will probably always hate me. SD16 B/M is on the pathway and Im pretty much done. No response to texts regarding a musical I was going to take her to. No acknowledgement when Im right there and shes walking into MY house.
The entitlement of "kids" in general.
The blame he kept putting on
The blame he kept putting on the SM was just so over the top. He kept saying things like she controls her husband. All she cares about is money. On and on!
He has no idea that she pushed for her husband to buy him a truck. That she paid the lawyers when her husband couldn't. That she has been there quietly supporting their relationship for over 30 yrs. She isn't some evil SM, she cares but never felt like she should do anything but be supportive, which in the end was really enabling. Now he is threatening her... it's all so crazy.
They are going for a restraining order today
Good for them!
Glad they are taking action.
My SO and I aren't married,
My SO and I aren't married, and probably never will be. If we stay together longer-term, I might leave her one of my houses, probably with a life estate. I'm very concerned she would sell a house and blow the proceeds on her kids if she got it free and clear. Bad enough that her kids will probably move in with her and live there for free, but at least there would be limitations.
My SO's kids are very uneducated, and can't think any further than where they will get their next blunt, so I'm not sure they even think about getting their hands on my stuff. On the off chance they do think about it, they'd be disappointed to know the truth.
OP, what a POS this 40 yo
OP, what a POS this 40 yo manchild sounds!
And you're right, the entitlement is astonishing!
Ex SD was like that - she assumed that her dad would kick out the long standing tenants in his rental property so SHE could move in there and live rent free!!
My Skid (SS30) is an only spawn in our marriage.
He will eventually get everything. We are fortunate. He has never asked for nor needed a Cent from us since we launched him at 18yo. . Which is why we happily drop money and nice gifts on him when the spirit moves us.
He is an only child as well as the eldest of 4 all out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by 3 different baby mamas.