I don’t even know why they ask about my kids.
I know in the steptalk world this is a nothing compared to what many of you go through. I'm curious how any of you would answer this though.
To preface both mine and DHs kids were all adults when we got married, they weren't raised together and other than for a hot minute when we (me mostly) tried having a few get togethers with both his and mine, they really don't interact much, for multiple reasons it just didn't vibe and I abandoned that plan of joint get togethers. The last interactions between the two families was pre Covid early 2020 when I realized that DHs kids would just cluster together and plan their next "Family" time with each other. Anyways, it seems like every time I see one of DHs kids they ask about my boys. Just the boys. (I have girls too) what is up with that? "How are your boys?..... What are your boys up to?" I find it odd. My response is always the same "Good.....uhmmm I dunno? Working I guess" I mean.... we are boring compared to the grandiose lives dhs kids brag about. I mean..... do any of you experience this? I've realized this has been going on a few years now and I just don't get it.
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Not all step families blend,
Not all step families blend, which is sad but at least gives you a baseline to work with.
I'd treat the skids as if they were coworkers of your DH - outside your inner circle, someone you're polite to but no more. Information diet, too. They don't care, so don't waste energy giving them details. They're not you're people.
I realized that I need to view them as a friends children.
That I've only just met and don't have much connection with. Just people that cross paths.
Being polite
I'd give them a generous benefit of the doubt and say they are asking to be polite. You're handling it correctly with the polite, non-committal response. I like the suggestion to say, "The girls are doing well, too".