Trigger Warning!!!

Long story short I have been with SO for about 2½ years and was fine until SD9 has been difficult to deal with and around. We had our first Bio Baby as of Jan 9th we try to give her attention and include her in things with baby bro. She's been incredibly difficult. I get so angry, jealous, resentful, frustrated, overwhelmed by her clingy to her dad, mini wife syndrome, rude and ignoring.... I also blame SO for it as well. Our parenting styles are clashing and causing problems. Idk how to fix. Is it my unreasonable views or his kissing ass to his daughter to like him more? He pretty much puts her first before anyone else and sickening. Yet I put him first followed by my children. SMH I'm lost.

Point form so easier to understand the recent challenges

• She's been rude and refuses to listen and follow through with standard my rules in my home such as clean up after herself, listen to us, dishes in sink after eating and scraps in the garbage (will not)
• Cuddles in her dad and kisses his lips ... gross
• Likes to shove herself in between us
• Me me me allllll about meeeeeee
• Demanding 
• Demanding attention more than what we can give with us having a 19 mos old toddler (my bio), 5 year old (my bio), and our bio newborn.
• Purposefully ignores me. Dad gives her shit for it still doesn't care,
• Dirty clothes go in laundry
• Ungrateful for things bought for her. Like almost entitled attitude.
• Didnt try to call her dad at Christmas which hurt his feelings he was stuck winching cars out of ditches after the blizzard. She didn't even feel bad
• Refuses to open drinks and need help constantly or making food which she should
• Doesn't follow through with chores rather play with toys or sit on her butt on the couch and procrastinate
•  She was bitchy and irritable and (whiny voice) TIRED and claimed she had a headache. Literally right after giving and swallowing her tylenol she was completelt fine. All a show in my opinion. Daddy is falling for it. I just rolled my eyes and nacho supreme it.
• Always cuddling and shoving her way into her dad and he enables it. It makes me cringe and makes me mad.
• Shoved her nose into phones thats not her business! I'm tired of her looking at my screen. She needs to learn boundaries and to mind her own business. My adult talk or text time is at night.
• She took the whole damn side of the couch and I couldn't sit there so I sat in my room. Mind you I'm 2½ weeks post partum. I cried and was mad/angry. That's my spot I sit on far side and she refused to move. He let her sit there. Next time I'm gonna lose it on both that was completely unfair. 
• Im jealous slightly yes I am because I can't cuddle with my man and that little shit is always in the way!!! I wish I could just boot her off the damn couch and stop being so needy and demanding and being so freakin clingy 
• I used to like her but totally dislike her after him enabling her bs! It's time to put a stop to it. She's 9 freaking years old and she acts like a 5 year old. She uses whiny voices and baby voices and I just can't stand it. My 5 year old talks maturely and respectful and she's amazing. SD on the other hand not so much! Totally opposite. I get a broken home with going to two parenting styles but she needs to learn it's time to change I hate to be a beeyotch but that's how I was raised. My house my rules. Period.
• She refuses to respect my home! Like I don't ask for much. I told her I can come to her room at dads and make a mess and make her clean it up. It's the same damn thing and I don't appreciate what she does to my home not cleaning up after herself.
• She's so demanding and her whiny baby talk makes me go mad. She's 9 almost 10 there is no reason for her squeaky whiny bratty voice then again daddy is fine with that. In my opinion NOO it's not. Talk in a normal voice.