SD & BD & finances
Husband and I updated wills 6 months before he died. Cotitled all to avoid probate. Both daughters were informed $ before marriage was ours, $ during marriage 50-50 and $ after marriage mine ( or his, depending on who was first). I retitled all investments into our both girls names/ all during marriage. I took our joint savings and his and it went in our bill account ( joint checking). All else is my checking : my BD alone is POD, it's my money. it's mine after my husband died. His checking, when releasedwill go in bill acct.( I won't need money there for years) ***. SD is still pissed we had a savings for my BGK./ without her father as coowner, I had to make it a trust. She thinks I'm " gypping" her. *** Setting up that Account was my husband's idea. So, Oh, hell no! Talked to lawyer who said you can do what you damn well please.,. My head says don't stress on it/ my heart says follow my DH& my agreements/ all I know is there will be that out of the estate.
does it ever end?
she still has to get some stuff he left to her and after that I will cut ties permanently. The next time she will get contact from this end of the world is when I am gone and my daughter/executor has to give her whatever she is/ call beneficiary at which are only investments from when we were married
Addition to above
I should note that I was married longer to my DH then he was to her mother. Her mother died young. I should also note that I have lived in this house longer than her mother did. As I've said before she has her delusional idea that since this was her mothers house it should be hers/ However she does not want the house, she just wants the whole amount of money. This is not what her father and I agreed on.No, there is a profit-sharing on this house because neither girl wants it To live in.It Has to be sold within a year and the profits split. Our other house? My BD is purchasing it from me And she is on the deed so it will pass seamlessly to her. My SD is on this one and she will have to take the deed sell it and split the proceeds
Please stop trying to justify
Please stop trying to justify things - you are entitled to what you have and if your SD is not happy she can pound sand. Block the harpy and let her know that all future communication goes through your lawyer. Then forget her.
This!
Stand confident in your decisions and block her.
Oops!
.
Dup free
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SD - Block her from your mind
I think if we say this enough and you re-read it enough, SD will fade from taking up space in your head.
I just had a scene with SKIDS last night and blocked SD23 Feral Forger from my phone and the other one can rot in her room, Im taking her off my life insurance as well as at 18 she should probably think about where else to live. I have zero obligations to either one.
I think its great that you are behaving as your late husband would have wanted and are also protecting yourself from being abused by SD. Keep those boundaries strong!!!
You are still harping on this. Give yourself a reprieve, get on
life. As no doubt your deceased DH would want you to.
SD can F-off.
smh.
I would suggest that you engage your attorney to lock up the rest of the situation after your departure so that the attorney sells the home you live in and then splits the proceeds between your DD and the SD.
Why punish your dauther to have to deal with this lost cause SD?
Make it easy on your DD. SD can, as I said above.... F-off.
Asked lawyer about that. She
Asked lawyer about that. She said the profit sharing on this means they need to split AND anything my DH left SD that she had not gotten has to be picked up or it can be sold ( tools). She hasn't been back in a long time for that. Lawyer said it can just sit here until Im pushing up daisies if she doesn't come/ it's still hers/ she has to get it then Told my BD to - when the time comes- go right to lawyer and ask every question, get legal advice and then have an estate company get everything she doesn't want sold. SD gets nothing but any tools her father left her. I can't throw them out...
No, but you can stick all the
No, but you can stick all the relevant items into a big trash bag and sit it outside to let it all rot. You mustn't let her back indoors again ever.
Put her crap in a storage unit, pay for 1mo and give her the
key. If she does not pick her crap up or pay the storage bill, the shit gets auctioned off and she is SOL.
You are not required to store her crap for her.
Or, have a moving company pick it up and drop it in her driveway. End of problem.
Be Eternally Grateful Your DH Had His Head Screwed On Right!
So many women have faced hell on top of hell over wondering what life will look like once thier DH passes away.
I've dealt with so much uneccessary hell from wealthy adult (in age only) SKs over them projecting WHAT THEY WOULD DO if they were in my shoes.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, love and be loved in return. It was quite simple, but to answer your question, NO IT DOES NOT EVER END, except, I guess when we pass from this life.
So glad things worked out in your favor! March forward into your new life knowing your husband did right by you. What a fortunate woman you are!
Always equal in everything
Back when we were talking about getting married, and this would be 24 years ago, my husband said we need to do everything equally, and I said that's fair. We agreed both of us should keep what we brought to the marriage and we set up our own accounts. We both worked at the same job, had the same pension, had almost identical, spending & savings habits and basically we were pretty cheap./We were not ones to spend money except on our children. Kind of like two peas in a pod / we were very very equal on everything When he died, I had my own pension, my own savings & investments and whatever he left to me. We made savings accounts for our daughters, and they both got them. We made a savings account for our grandkids my BGK./ his SGK. That account, for the grandkids was his idea. ) We basically had identical willls/ What was ours prior to marriage and then after Death of the first spouse? That goes to the second spouse in this case that's me ( I'd much rather have my husband )& what comes in after the death of spouse one belongs to the spouse who is getting it. What's during the marriage? If eventually get split, but not until both of us are pushing up daisies.( In any case. My daughters home will be out of the mix because she is purchasing it from me not because it's being given to her on a silver platter, which is what my SD seems to think.) I don't think it ever occurred to either one of us, but we should not do everything 50-50 it's just the way we were. Everything was cross, titled or jointly owned and I think we missed one Small investment, and for that alone,. I have to have an estate account (which is a joke.).
My adult SD has Quite a bit in her savings or at least she said she did prior to her father dying. It was after he died that she was furious that the wills hadn't given her 50% of everything right there. I have gotten to the point where I really don't care what she thinks because there's nothing she can sue for because it's not mine. When I'm gone, I will not go against what my husband and I planned and it will get divided between the two girls/whatever we put together ONLY during our marriage. What was before? What was after? Before and after goes only to that person's biological children. I have gotten to the point where I do not care what the SD keeps telling me (she's got money in the bank if she wants to keep on spending it and then say I'm poor that's her business. )She's not getting anything. I'm not putting anything else into our investments, whatever is coming in the bank or investments, now is mine no one else's. I'm following the plan we laid out, my husband and me.
Yes, I am blessed to have had him. I am blessed to have my own BD and her husband and my BG case and even my SGK ( who are the kids from my son-in-law). If my SD wants to be a jerk, that's her problem. I know her father is still turning over in his grave over it. I also know I don't have to feel any obligation to her. It has been a long close to a year for me to realize that
Just stop the nonsense
First you must think of you. You can not go out and get a job. So you must live on this money for the rest of your life. You want to live good, ie not eat cat food. You SD is young she can work get a job or two or three and have money
Having money to live on, is
Having money to live on, is never going to be an issue with me. The bottom line here is that SD feels that somehow I got money of her mothers who died over 30 years ago/the problem is all of that money was given to her by her father when she purchased a house over 25 years ago. She just feels that her father and I should never have. Jointly had money. The individual money we had prior to marriage we eventually did cross title to each other in order to use it for living After the first one was gone.. Now that money is mine. My own individual money prior to marriage has my daughter as beneficiary - just as my DH's first wife some money went to his daughter. What we saved during the marriage they split when I'm gone / during my life I get to live on it. So far in 25 years we have not touched any investments, so I hopefully won't have to.
The whole crux of the matter is SD still think she got cheated. The lawyer flatly explained to her the only thing that she could "Sue" was the estate account. The estate account has only a $6000 bond and money that was left to me in my name where it was an accident & it wound up in the estate account - even if the entire $12,000 or so in the estate account were to be sued, my lawyers fee comes out of it first and SD could sue it for 50% AFTER you take out the lawyers fee here we are talking about. She could sue for probably 50% of at the most $11,000. Out of that she would have to pay her lawyer. My lawyer laughed at the whole situation that she honestly thought she'd get something out of this From everything, her father had titled with me, or that I was beneficiary of.. She said no Lawyer would take that to sue against. I'm just so sick of this garbage. I just want her to come and take anything else that's hers, and leave me alone ; anything of hers is in the garage and I don't even go there. Once she comes in the spring in a couple of months, she can take it all out and put it in the storage unit. I really don't want to see or hear from her until after I am gone in which case I won't, my BD will because she will have to deal w/ estate . The only thing that this girl will get is 50% of what we invested during lifetime. The entire situation is flatly insane. This girl has dollar signs not pupils in her eyes. I have zero intention of giving her a pennyafter all the crap she's caused me in the last close to 11 months.
Honestly? I wish I had some really nasty SOB to be my executor with my BD because I don't want this creature causing any trouble. I am making sure that anything that I need in life is getting paid for ahead of time/including my funeral so that will take away from money that she gets. She didn't put one penny towards any of her father's funeral, grave, headstone. To tell you the truth, if she had, I might have been amiable to give her some of that estate account, but not now – it would have to be if she had given me money toward it, and I would've paid her back what she gave me. It's not like she doesn't work. She has a good job for good pay and paid for home and paid for car. It's just she spends money like water on the side. With her SO That she will never marry. Even though everything is double titled to both daughters SD & BD, With BD as my executor? I am truly sure that down the line she will give my daughter grief. In any case myB Dis a very tough cookie and I don't think there will be any hassle. She will let the lawyer go after my SD.
How about putting everything
How about putting everything that is hers in storage and getting your lawyer to send her the key along with a letter stating that you have paid for the first month only and thus she no longer has any reason to badger her client. If you haven't already,put up a no trespassing sign.
This should get her out of your hair,get rid of her belongings, and give you some peace. If she tries to get into the garage after that,call the cops IMMEDIATELY. She needs to learn that you mean business!
Instead of whishing that she would come get her shit...
have it boxed up, hauled to her house, and dumped in her driveway. Along with the BIll for the packing and shipping.
Then file an RO/PO to keep her the hell away from you.
I would also hire a lawyer to be the executor of your estate and to hold your Will. Do not saddle your DD with having to deal with your DH's toxic spawn. And... start living.... very, very well. Luxury travel, luxury vehicles, lavish gifts to the people YOU care about, charitable donations, etc..... Make the final estate as simple as possible.
My condolences both on the loss of your DH and on having to deal with this hag harpy of an SD.