It's STEPLIFE IN GENERAL!

Many of you have offered excellent, and often expert advice to so many of us here. I am humbled by all the wisdom that springs forth, let alone the overwhelming support.

Most of you :ST Long Timers" know my story, or at least bits and pieces.

I haven't posted in a while, but thought I'd give a brief update, and welcome your thoughts, advice, and encouragement.

As many of you know, DH is older than me, is a textbook alcoholic (Neurologist's words, not mine, although I agree). I am not an enabler. I've done everything within my power to stop the drinking, (notify friends and family members not to bring alcohol out at gatherings, encouraged him to keep going to the neurologist, poured out alchohol when it is found, put a metal dectector app on my phone to find beer cans, and the list goes on, and on)  but addiction does what it wants to. 

He stopped going to the neurologist almost as quickly as he started, several years ago, but goes faithfully to ALL OTHER APPOINTMENTS. Dentist, opthomalagist, cardiologist etc. So obviously, he's afraid of what will be revealed if he starts going to the neurologist again.

Last fall, out of nowhere, with NO CONVERSATION, I am gone for a few days (my mom was starting radiation treatments, and other stressors were in play) and he knew where I was. One of the SKs was at the house with him, so he was not alone, and if he was, that's alright. He's not to the point that he cannot be left alone. Well, I return to meet DH on my way down the very  long drive. He smirks and tells me,"You're not going to be able to get through the gates, because SKs have locked you out." I told him, "That's an easy fix, I've got the sheriff on speed dial thanks to their poor behavior toward me in the past, that required police reports to be filed, and this IS ILLEGAL. I could blow the locks and chains off with my 9MM, but I think I'll let the deputy come out and tell you for himself, it's ILLEGAL." So right away he panics and calls SKs. I had to pull it out of him, as to why he had already been to town but was clearly headed there again. We live in a very rural area, and he tries to kill 10 birds with the same stone. Turns out he had opened a bank account with THOUSANDS without telling me. I wasn't on the account. OK...meanwhile, deputy arrives, and says he's been talking to SD the entire way there. It's about 30-45 minute drive from town. So clearly, she was in damage control mode. She explains there has been discord down through the years, but she and other Sk are "concerned" because dad's wife was gone for a few days, but dad is mentally sound. IT was a clear case of trying to smear me and make him look mentally stable.

Long story short, the deputy tells SKs that is ILLEGAL. If they lock me out, they lock him out. We are a package deal. So back to the drawing board they go.

I had strange vibes and feelings about things, and asked DH point blank what he and his kids were up to? Divorce? No, no, no...we just had some questions he says. Ok, so that's called a consult. Turns out daughter secured a family law attorney and scheduled multiple appointments to get him to file for divorce (which is doesn't want. He's never been alone. He's always "moved on" before divorcing in the past, and he KNOWS his kids will NOT be there for him) and each time he cancelled them. When he did so, SKs (who are millionaires and want/need for nothing) threatened to evict him and sell the property (yes, he set up gifting a number of years ago, but SKs decided  5 years ago he needed to FULLY GIVE IT TO THEM. That was illigitimate. You can't give away what you've already given away, especially in his mental condition). 

Thanksgiving week, I am in town with a cousin I've been reunited with after 50+ years, and I get served with DIVORCE PAPERS. I go back to the house/property and ask about this news. He denies wanting it and tells me they kept hounding him just like they did 5 years ago, and he was stressed and worn down, so he just did it to make them stop. I wanted him to have a visual, so I started taking all of my decor, belongings and grouping them all so I could pack them. I told him that if he goes through with it, he will be alone, and make no mistake, their goal is to put him in a facilit, which is why they want me gone. I've been his best medical advocate from the beginning. He knows that and tells people as much. 

I continued to sleep in the same bed with DH, cook for him, take him to appointments and all the other things I've done for the last almost 15 years. That, my friends is the epitome of GRACE. 

We meet with both attorneys to tell them this isn't what either of us wants. This is a long winding story, as to what happened here with "counselors" but I'll spare the details.

Initially, when I met with my attorney, it was for elder abuse/exploitation concerns I had seen so much of down through the years. He encouraged me to report SKs, and I waiting, thinking the holidays were coming, but after I received divorce papers, and recording him saying he didn't want to give them everything he owned in 2018, OR to be divorced, I decided to move forward. The attorney told me he was obligated if I didn't. 

It's been almost 4 months since the investigation began, and I have been assured I have very credible evidence of the abuse and exploitation.

Similarly, my senior deputy friend has made me aware new legislation became law in September of last year, and he feels certain she, and perhaps her sibling will be convicted.

My point is, no matter how big the battle is, and how exhausting it seems, if you can endure, keep doing the right thing, keep things in perspective, and maintain your sanity,  things will work out the way they are supposed to.

PS My attorney has NEVER lost a case in 30+ years. Most recently,he represented  a Filipino mail order bride was married to an older rancher. He died within the year of their marriage, and his kids thought they were going to self-evict and bully  her. Well, contrary to that belief, it went to trial, and the JUDGE awarded her SOLE PROPRIETORSHIP of the 1,500 acre ranch that had been in the family 150 years. No her mother and grandmother live there with her!