I'm so sorry but at least it is nearly over.

I'd leave SS on the insurance.  If you drop him, it might give BM inspiration to go back on the GI bill stuff and try to cause more havoc.  Once you've got the college bits sorted out, do what you want with the insurance.

The Judge obviously disliked your DH and his attorney.  You would have thought that bells would have gone off in the judge's head when the judge heard that the BM's attorney did not get paid yet..   And that old chestnut on GI Bill  "Work it out amongst yourselves and cooperate."   Plain LAZINESS!

Is this an elected position?  If so, I would do everything to back that judge's opponent in a primary or general.

This is very reminiscent of when Chef went to court, and the magistrate knew the Girhippo personally, as the Gir was working as a CPS worker, of all things, at the time.  Now she is working at the local VA with veterans which is terrifying. The magistrate and Gir practically high fived each other as they went into the court..

It also reminds me of being a landlord in eviction court in the city of Rochester, New York in the 90s.  There were several judges that are still there who refused to hear cases against tenants and would start the court by saying. "Do you know what the problem with housing is?  Landlords!"   Then immediately close the case not hearing any evidence.  I imagine the problem is much worse now.

To be honest... you should be refusing to pay your attorney for his work.  It is his fault that you did not have the income information.. no way that should have been ever an issue.

And.. I agree that the judge either dislikes your DH.. (maybe hates military?).. or hates him personally if he has been a scheduling issue? or was a kid with a "deadbeat dad" who has a bone in his mouth for guys he sees as being a problem?

Maybe he is irritated at the times your Dh has been before him complaining of her contempt issues? 

Or maybe he dislikes  your lawyer... hindsight is 2020.. and I understand that there were few options.. but the guy and firm  you were using obviously was not competent.  

just horrible all the way around.. and your DH did get his butt handed to him.. and there was little control you had over any of it.

I got nothing except a virtual hug. I'm so sorry. 

I don't even have words for how disgusted I am with this outcome for you. It's nothing short of vile. I wish there was some way for you to complete a judicial complaint without having to be active/involved because of course you're exhausted! But this "judge" has NO business being in that position. Whether it's incompetence, laziness, or outright corruption, something is very wrong.

I'm so incredibly sorry that it turned out this way for y'all. It is an absolute injustice.

I am so sorry. As you know, the judge in our case failed us miserably too and is refusing to ever hear our case again even though SS is only 11 and we concluded court when SS was 8.5. The judge literally told DH, "Pay your CS, see SS during your CO visitation, and let the rest go. BM and GF are going to raise SS." This further enforced to BM that DH is nothing but a paycheck and she gets to play "happy family" with GF. It doesn't impact us financially but prevents us from ever seeing SS more than 6 weeks a year. DH will never gain more time with SS and we will miss so much of his childhood. The judges need to be held accountable but without reform, it will never happen. 

I hope you are able to find peace knowing that in 5 months, this is all done and you can finally heal from this nightmare. Know that BM will get her karma when she blows through her money and has nothing left or is bitter and alone in old age. Karma comes for them all at some point, even if it is far out. Find peace knowing that BM lost $10k to her attorney. I am glad you got to speak your peace to BM, but I know it probably wasn't enough. So many hugs to you. 

dime and would definitely want this judge investigated! I don't understand how he can get away with not hearing the case and won't even look at anything. I would also report your lawyer to the bar. I really think it is either discrimination or somehow both the lawyer and judge get a piece of that money and that is why BM wanted the whole $20K to pay off her lawyer, plus give a piece of the money to the judge and the lawyer. Might be totally off base, but for him to just not even hear or look at anything is WRONG.

I am so sorry for you and your family!

OMG, Hon!

Fifteen hundred bucks a month?! For one kid?! I can guarantee that karma will arrive for 'Thundercunt' when that huge grab ends. That's a month's rent on an apartment or a month's groceries for two people or payment on a luxury car, etc. That lying, cheating, PASing scum is bound to suffer, financially, after she burns through the twenty grand that she screwed you for and HAS to work hard for a living.

My dear girl, this entire fiasco with BM has infuriated me for years; her latest insult has filled me with such impotent rage that I'm breathing deeply to calm myself. AAARRRGGGHHH! If there is any greater wrong than such flagrant injustice, I've yet to discover it.

I’m really sorry to hear this and I wish I could say I am surprised.  In all the years DH was in and out of court with Meth Mouth the judge always acted like DH was some deadbeat who ripped Spawn away from Meth Mouth, and he was always having to defend his actions while Meth Mouth getting arrested and failing drug tests was just shrugged off.  They also had a CS case happen (Meth Mouth lied and claimed she was never paid CS or spousal) and DH had to do all the leg work to prove his case, he even had to produce her marriage certificate to her second ex for the judge.  Meth Mouth just had to show up with a sh@t eating grin on her face the whole time.  Family courts are the worst.

What. An. Odyssey. Of. Excrement.

I bet you and your DH are just completely spent. I hate that entire backwards county for you. We stalkers must remember to make a symbolic visit to the lavatory anytime we fly over Kansas.

CastleJJ is right - karma will catch up with that awful woman, and hopefully with that pitiful excuse for a judge as well. Now it's time to focus on healing. Write the checks, relish the fact that BM isn't even getting a large chunk of it, and start the process of letting go. (((hugs)))

The system is SO fucked and geared towards BMS even if they're shite at their job. DH also got shafted by the system. After BM and him separated they had 5050 and he was still paying full support with no offset. He went to work 3 on 1 off to support BM and SSx2 for 2 years because he was drowning financially in debt from supporting them. He comes back to work in town and asks to gradually go back to 5050, BM says no. Slaps him with a court order for retroactive support because it was never increased when he was working 3 and 1, and files for primary parenting because he's "an abusive, a dead beat father, drug addiction that the kids are afraid of." We battle for 3 years to even get 30% parenting, in the meantime more time is withheld, he goes almost 4 months at a time without seeing the kids because she won't send them out at agreed pick up times, wont let him take them for lunch or to the park, and guilts the kids that they havent spent enough time with her, etc. All for BM to get 15k in retroactive award and DH to get 4 days per month to see skids who have turned into little terrors. 

I empathize with you whole heartedly and I am glad that you are almost at the end of the nightmare. 

I'm probably a horrible person, but knowing she got all that undeserved $ I'd drop the insurance in a jiffy and let her have to spend some of it on insurance for HER child since she can't seem to understand the child WAS both of theirs at one point. Make her spend the money on the kid where it should have been going all this time. 

I hate this for you guys but glad it is over! 

JMTB, You keep him on Tri Care because that is the right thing to do. As much as you want to stick it to bm it's best to ride it out until Tricare no longer applies.  

I totally get it..we are were YOU are, we have been where you have been. Ours will likely never end while dh is no longer alive. NO it is not about alimony or arrears. 

.Our bm is rolling in dough in spite of having felonies, claims she can hardly work and she is poverty stricken, on paper. 

There is NO one that can explain  how security clearence husbands like yours and mine ( and many others) can get the shaft shouved UP their asses for 10, 20 plus years. Paying rediculous amounts of money in child support, health insurance PLUS  f'n pro bono lawyer fees for these women because they are pooooor single married moms. You read that right, Poor single married moms. 

But you know what JMTB? We would never change our lives OR want to be in bm's shoes. Never ever.  Like you we are GOOD people. We have a good life, an honest life.  It is pricless in my book.

F them. 

Start a fire outside, have a cocktail or two. Take a deep breath than exhale. It's gonna be ok, ok?

Can she still refuse to use the GI bill and come after DH for college costs?

"Thundercunt"

After everything you have put up with, I don't know how you refrained from diving across the room, strangling the b*tch, and sending her back to the hell from which she came. Seriously, I've read all you've been put through with your DH's baggage and all I can say is that you are a saint and your DH is sooo lucky to have you. You've been a blessing to OSS, supportive of your husband's military career (which has often left you holding the bag with OSS) and tried incredibly hard to facilitate a relationship between your DH and that ungrateful POS YSS. I hope now some peace and good fortune will come your way after all this.

I don't even know what to say. I had really wanted a favourable outcome for you. You all deserve it after all this. I'm so sorry.

Your BM is my top 5 list of those I despise on ST. Grrrrr.

I would have asked that the judge recuse himself from the case if he can't do his job properly or tried to get my lawyer to move my case to a different court/different judge. 

Here we have 2 courts for family sorts of issues. 

Try filing an appeal

attention.

It did after our first hearing. I contacted the local News Paper, took out a full page ad with a pic of the Judge, a mug shot of the spermidiot, the Spermidiot's long arrest record and a redacted photo of SS (then 2yo) with the bold headline of THIS JUDGE FORCES THIS CHILD TO BE WITH THIS PERSON!!!! THINK BEFORE YOU RE-ELECT THIS JUDGE.

Before my ad ran, our lawyer called me in a panic. Apparently the judge had a relative at the paper who called him and told him about the add. The Judge called our lawyer.  She asked me to drop the add as it would destroy her career and she would never get another client in that small town.  The Judge told our attorney that he would recuse himself from any further hearings involving us.

I dropped the ad before it ran.  I am not sure the paper would have actually published the ad anyway. But the small town grape vine sure heard all about it. and just calling the paper to place the ad got his Honor's attention.

We never heard a word from that Judge for the remaining 16+ years of our CO. A couple of times when we were downtown near the county courthouse for lunch when visiting my IL's we were walking on the side walk and we and the Judge were approaching each other. He would cross the road rather than pass us on the sidewalk.  He certainly did not appreciate me expressing my opinion on his ruling while we were in court, and he did not appreciate my calling the paper to run the ad as he was approaching re-election.  Sadly, idiots are tolerated on the bench who have no business making rulings that impact children.

I am sorry  you got the not unusual bottom 10%er of the legal profession in the idiot Harry Potter robes slinging the toddler Fisher-Price wooden hammer ruling on your case.  The good news is, once Skids age out from under the CO these bottom 10%er robed morons have no more influence over our lives.

Enjoy your soon to be realized freedom.