What fight are you going to pick.  Sleep with her adult son is more then creepy.  He taking your place in the food chain.  Time to dump your SO like SO ..DS GF dump him.

To be honest.. I really don't understand why you are still with her.. This is disturbing IMO.

I have a grown son, we would never co-sleep it's weird, to say it politely. 

Are you serious???? Your SO is letting her ADULT son sleep in the same bed as her???? OMG.

As someone else said, why are you still with this woman?  I have a grown son...no way in hell would either of us think sleeping in the same bed would  be okay. 

Seriously.....do yourself a favor and get out of this mess. I sure hope she doesn't tell anyone about this...can you imagine the gossip train on this topic??? How can you even face her?

shut this down immediately, at least have the balls to end it when you get home. Do not forget to collect your nads from SO's purse before you throw her and her stanky failed Skidult spawn out of your home once you get home. They can take the polluted mommy/ baby boy-dult incest bed with them.

There would be zero tolerance for this crap in my world.

Have some self respect man.

Every time you post, it gets worse and worse and now you admit that this is "not worth fighting for"? What would be?

I think you have been part of this drama dynamic for too long that you are unable to see clearly what is going on and it may have become your new normal. Well it's not normal. When's enough?

I'm nearly speechless. As a grown woman, I wouldn't sleep in a bed with my dad OR my mom. Just, no. I haven't even shared hotel rooms with them when we travel together since I turned 20. Absolutely insane that you would put up with this.

Paul, youi have been tolerating this shit for so long that you seem to have lost contact with reality - kinda like the frog in hot water where the heat is added so gradually that it doesn't realize it's going to die until it's too late. This episode is so far from normal that I want to shake you for not wanting to upset your SO. She's sleeping with her filthy son in YOUR marital bed, in the bed you paid for (because apparently she has the luxury of bankrolling all of her daughter's whims) and you don't this is worth making waves about? Seriously? Where is your pride, Paul? YOU are the one who should be going nuclear! I would never, ever be getting into that bed again! Supposing she had decided to console him for his lost love ... Rea whatever you like into that thought.

Paul, you are not married to this woman. There is nothing keeping you from walking away and rediscovering life. Please make an appointment with a therapist to find out why you keep rationalizing the crap that you are putting up with.

That doesnt include SO. Shoot man, there are literally billions of other women out there, and you are feeling stuck with this one?

Yeah that's cringe af. 
 

This dude right here had his daughter sleeping in the bed with him, she was 9 at the time, and I flat out said "dude she's old enough to sleep ALONE in her own bed and that is creepy af!"

"Kids" have no business sleeping in the bed with their parents after toddler age. 
 

It's very questionable when parents allow this beyond that age. 
 

If I were you I'd say something to her AND let her know her behavior is creepy. Then bleach the sheets and Sage the room.
 

If she keeps doing it then you have a problem. 

Come on, Paul. You've been around this site longer than I have, and you're an intelligent man. You know this is unacceptable and just another nail in the coffin that is this dead relationship. Far FAR better to be alone than to continue to be this sub par woman's meal ticket. You know your self esteem is low, and you know you need to make some changes. Why not give tele therapy a try? These people are HORRIBLE, and you're never going to get the love and respect you deserve from them. Do some work on yourself, gain some perspective and you'll be able put out the trash. Please, Paul. I hate her for you.

Very bizarre.   I have an adult son and this would NEVER HAPPEN. 

Dammit, Paul!

Like Julie, I’ve been reading your posts for yonks. Do you recall this one:

I am, and always have been, a non-entity to my skids, unless it is buying them toys or food, running them around town, taking forgotten homework assignments to school, etc. DW is just fine with this arrangement - after all, I am the "adult", and they are "just kids." 

It pretty well describes your entire relationship with your SO and her children, yes? My dear man, you are wasting your life!

After two disastrous marriages, first with a serially cheating psychopath and secondly, with a bully, I found and wed the man of my dreams. He is kind, generous, honest, loving and always willing to compromise. We are partners in every respect and, after 41 years together, still deeply in love.

Paul, this is what you deserve! Everything that you reveal about yourself convinces me that you are a good man, worthy of a woman who will love and respect you, rather than that deviant succubus who not only walks all over you but expects you to also be a doormat for her grown children.

Life is short, Paul! Do you really wish to spend the rest of your days being unhappy and usurped by greedy, selfish people who have no regard for you? I realize that change is traumatic and that it’s easier to plug along in the old but familiar wretchedness, rather than striking out into a better way of life; in some cases, slogging away in a miserable existence is tolerable. However, the circumstances surrounding your home life are so beyond the pale as to become an outrage.

 Sadly, I suspect that you’ll suck it up, again, and do nothing to change things since the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. I can only hope that you will finally see the light, consult with a therapist and open your mind to reaching for something better.

You know, Paul, Rags often writes about (metaphorically) beating the shallow and polluted gene pool of the opposition with a copy of one’s custody order. In your case, howsabout I smack you about the head and shoulders with a rolled-up newspaper titled, ‘Use Some Common Sense’! Failing that, I'd like to shake you until your teeth rattle! Why can’t we get through to you?!

Sorry we all jump all over you. You came here to vent and asked for advice.  You should be able to vent.   But there just lines you don't cross.  Haveing your adult son who just came out of a sexual relationship with the EX GF. Sleep in the same bed as your GF.  Just wrong on so many kevels.

Dumping your GF means you need to find a new place to live.  Moving. Trying to find a new relationship.  Bring alone. Is all things that require lots of effort and time.  We all give in to take the easy way out.  Having SK do things take control. 
'But and a Big but. It she allows this to go on.  Who knows whatever else she is allowing .  And not only with DS 

I would snap photos of them in bed together. 

THEN secure those pics  immediately by sending them over to my attorney and tell him to file for divorce with loss of consortium and alienation of affection, with details and pictures to match.

---find out what your next legal move is with our lawyer.  

Keep in mind she should not know what you are doing above. 

THEN, I would wait until the next family gathering maybe it's Thanksgiving. While the yams are being passed around I would drop that little gem right out of my mouth. "What do you all think about parents sleeping in bed with their adult kids of the opposite s#x". Did you know that the Wife crawls in bed with sonsname and sleeps with him ALL NIGHT LONG?. Wait for the Gasp then sheepishly blurt out,  you all didn't know that? Ohhhh, ok,,,,,,,Hey, will someone please pass the rolls?

That is what I would do.

If adult kid has mental health or medical problems, file all charges you can with local police and DA.  If  a man did this to his adult daughter all hell would break loose.  As it should.

jmo

*edit to add, she is saying this stuff to taunt you---even if you cant get a photo, I would drop what she told you at the next family gathering and divorce her too. She is unwell