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O/T credit card payments

Noway2b1's picture

Submitted by Noway2b1 on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 3:12pm

So I decided to check our credit card balance. Our expenses are going down over all since my bio moved out and I just wanted to see what we spent Sept/Oct. DH and I have had an ongoing issue I don't quite get. I login to account and what do I see? well ytd finance charges are 350$ and that he chronically pays it late. Why? There's no reason why. So I sent him this ;

" I’ll just set up my financial institution and take over payment since it’s an issue only I seem to be bothered by. I’ll pay it in full before due date as any credit card should be we’ve discussed this before and I do have a big issue with it. Once again I do not trust that it’s managed the way I would and it should be and how we’ve agreed to in the past.  I really don’t get it. We either have the money to pay our credit cards in full and if we don’t we should stop using them. Period. It’s one thing I’m pretty fiscally responsible in. 
 

Grrr it's not a big big thing and yet it is and I'm ticked off. Am I being unreasonable?!

 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 4:29pm

Yes, you're being reasonable. DH and I each have one credit card for large expenses that we take time to pay off: like when I flew to FL for my Dad's wedding or a ring DH bought me for Christmas one year. All others are PIF each month. 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 4:39pm

 it's not a big big thing 

Um, yes, it is a big thing, those finance and late charges add up and if you can pay in full, there is no reason to pay extra money to spend money.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 4:54pm

You are completely in the right! It makes no sense to pay interest and late fees if you can afford to pay the balance in full.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 4:59pm

She is extremely focused on managing our household finances.  I have generally been the primary earner, her career has been great.  She is far more diligent about bills.  Our credit score is entirely due to her. diligence.  I suppose with auto and online bill pay, I would be far better than I was in the days before I married my CPA bride. She has been our family CFO since day one long before she became a CPA. 

Though I pretty much do not spend money beyond gifts for DW, groceries, and fuel.

 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 7:24pm

For not unreasonable.   In my case Chef is terrible with money and paperwork so I handle all of it.  I would take over and let him have one debit or credit card.

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 7:39pm

  • You discussed this issue before
  • He pays it late for no rational reason 

*i wonder where else is he foolishly blowing money down the drain

id be bothered too AND request account takeover since you lead better in that area. 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 10/12/2023 - 10:45pm

You're not being unreasonable and it IS a big thing. In our household I do all the bill paying because my husband is a financial moron.  He couldn't pay anything on time, and not necessarily because he didn't have the money. Remembering to pay bills just wasn't a priority for him, and he doesn't understand concepts like having to pay interest right away if you don't pay a credit card off monthly, vs. having a grace period if you do. His credit score has gone up substantially since I've been around.  

I just don't understand how some people can be so financially irresponsible. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 10/14/2023 - 4:22pm

I just don't understand how some people can be so financially irresponsible. 

Sadly there are any number of self delusional reasons.  Immature need for instant gratification.  Laziness.  Zero understanding of how money works. Naivete.

Sadly there are nearly an infinite number of idiot self chosen actions including sheer stupidity. Which IMHO, is a choice.

The one I think is most prevalent is the instant gratification characteristic.

My entire IL clan suffers from this. Every one of them. My FIL & MIL severely, then BIL1 and his DW along with an added completely unjustified superiorty complex, & BIL2 who has a heart of gold but can't seem to reliaze that rusty junk is rusty junk even when you have a tractor fetish and consider yourself a farmer. 

Then there is SIL who not only has zero idea of how money works and has her family's instand gratification addiction, she is a crook who will steal, lie, and cheat to get her instant gratifications fix regardless of who she has to rip off to do it.  She is always broke, crying because her kids are hungry, yet..... she can weasel, steal, and scam money to pay for a continuous stream of $hundreds to pay for her tattoo fetish, they can buy half sunk boats, rotten old hot tubs, etc.....

"But I waaaaaaaant it!  But it is my dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaamam (fill in the blank, truck, tattoo, etc....)! But I'm spe....cial!" All said in SIL's whiney nauseating baby voice.

Bad

End of rant.

I am team, take the bills and any and all access to money away from the fiscal morons. Including any money they earn within the marriage.  Dole out a very small allowance of cash and cash only. No debit cards, no credit cards, nothing but cash.  If they cannot be trusted with money and finances, they should not be trusted with any of it other than a miniscule small stack of $-ones

BTW, in our marriage, I am the one who would be cut off from $. Fortunately, I have no interests except spoiling my bride and more rarely, my kid and parents.  I do not set a budget for DW's gifts, or  our son's, or my parents.  DW.... keeps her family gift budget to a pittance because it nauseaters her to throw good money away.  They usually show no appreciation even when we set no budget.  Rather than gratitude it was all about "Why would I want that?".

Nea

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Fri, 10/13/2023 - 8:25am

Be happy to get the bill paying out of his hands.  When I took over the bills DW was happy..one thing less she had to do.  

Noway2b1's picture

Submitted by Noway2b1 on Sat, 10/14/2023 - 4:09pm

We had the conversation. I made it clear this is not ok with me. It's a card we regularly put 1500-2000 on. It's a rewards card too. There is zero reason not to pay it off in full. We've set up auto pay in full (He changed it long ago to minimum due) and changed payment due date to better accommodate job payment schedule. I thought I made it clear years ago that I was not ok with it. Guess old habits are hard to break..