You are here

The Big Movement

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 12:34pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

As the days click by, winter rains fade into spring flower buds, and then spring fades into pre-summer, I am thinking and mulling over the future of SD17 PowerSulk.

I understand how this works. Or SHOULD work. 

How it SHOULD work (IE what I have gathered from this site and my own expectations):

1. We discuss PowerSulks expectations and plans.

2. We discuss OUR expectations and plans.

3. We see if we have congruent expectations and plans and start discussion the new future order of things...

4. Since its obvious that PS will remain in Beach Town after she ages out, we discuss a plan on moving her things to the apartment. She starts going through things and donating, throwing away. June arrives and boom! Shes set up with whatever future she sees ahead (job? driving?), and we are prepared for either setting up to rent a room or storage/guest room.

I know how it could/might work:

1. No discussion OR discussion between husband and powersulk and Clove is excluded.

2. Since Clove is excluded and no discussion, CLove makes HER OWN PLANS SEPERATELY.

3. Since no plans. Power sulk only plants on getting what SHE WANTS, but doesnt tell anyone. 

4. June happens. Nothing is moved out. Texts back and forth between husband and power sulk result in him taking trash bags of her things and drop off at apartment. Or...

June Happens and suddenly skid wants to live with CLove and Husband because strange twist of fate, and no discussions have happened, just she "wants/needs" to stay for a few months. Clove stews. Friction happens in marriage. Clove is still left out of discussions that have/havent happened. Clove decides that she will pay less mortgage portion and less bills.

Any thoughts? With first kid, she ghosted us for 7 months of cold storage for sh!t and then I did ALL cleaning and clearing. And got nasty texted as a result.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 2:22pm

Why do you think anything will happen this spring?  Is it because CS ends?  I don't think anything will change.  She will continue to live with TT.  Her stuff will stay at your house.  You won't have to pay CS and she won't have to visit.  When she needs something, she will contact DH and he will supply it.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:28pm

Ive been prepping husband and myself. When visitation ends she will be in Beach Town. June is 18 and graduated. So - summer-soon-to-be...

I would like some pre -work done in spring however.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:29pm

Dunka shen!

I hope there is at least some kind of prep work ahead of time and I sincerely hope that I am included in the discussions.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:50pm

so stressful

AlmostGone834's picture

Submitted by AlmostGone834 on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:46pm

I agree, #4. 

Having said that, I would make it abundantly clear ahead of time to DH that PS is never to live with you guys. Not when she's out of school this summer and not down the line if/when TT and PS were to have a big blow up. Part of being an adult is learning to get along with whomever is paying your rent until you can pay your own rent.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:49pm

Im going to paste this on the wall!

Part of being an adult is learning to get along with whomever is paying your rent until you can pay your own rent.

Part of my message to BOTh Powersulk AND husband is "if you want adult priviledges you should have adult responsibilities'...

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 3:52pm

Doesn't sound like she has any future plans. No job, no license, and no talk of college, correct? I have a HS senior and i can't imagine if the possibility existed of my kid graduating and, like, just doing whatever. This is a major life transition and your DH is drinking beer. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 4:50pm

Her talk is community college, a job "somewhere".

Yeah, well Im going to have to push things if he doesnt get on the ball. But Ill wait until last minute lol.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 4:24pm

No friends ,No Job. No drivers license , No ...?...?....?     How do you think anything will change.  ?  Nothing is going to change. Her life upsets you more then her or DH.   You just band from your home ,, No overnight visitations.  See her on Thanksgiving 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 01/24/2024 - 4:31pm

She has a friend group. So they drive her around and buy her things. 

Im just upset when her lameness and husbands lameness affect me.

Jgstepmom's picture

Submitted by Jgstepmom on Thu, 01/25/2024 - 12:22am

I've had this on my mind too. 
SD18 graduates this year and is going to college. I was so looking forward to moving away with dh. Well. She's now going to school a half hour away from where we were looking to move. I told eh I don't think I can do it, which I know breaks his heart. He's always wanted to move there. But. I got through these years, I don't think I can do more. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 01/25/2024 - 9:00am

Who can't function by herself.  When I was young all I wanted was a drivers license and freedom.  I can't understand these kids that have no motivation in life.  DH created a kid that is dependent on him, He has to like it.  SD is happy sleeping over getting feed getting money    And not doing anything.  I can't see it changing.  You are the only one who wants change