I saw a lawyer this morning so I know my rights about things.  The house is in joint tenancy, as is the car, the rest, as lawyer says, unless coin collections and other expensive items is considered household miscellaneous and should go to me.  Generally no one fights over the pots and pans,but one never knows.

Yesterday I had it out with hubby about the situation and reminded him of where he would be if I didn't have the original house which was HIS step up.  That allowed him to save money for retirement, etc.   He, like one of the other posters here, had a decent job but had just recently finished paying child support payments.  And I may say that he was very responsible about it too.  I told him I understood about his wanting to leave his children something, but that we were not wealthy by any means and even $10,000 could make the difference for either one of us in the future.  He thought about it for a while and agreed.  He feels he will go first and doesn't want to see me out in the street or in a terrible nursing home.  His Mother was in a bad home and he never forgot that because due to paying child support he couldn't do much for her.

It did have a long talk and a result.  I confessed I had been to see an attorney about things.  After discussion we agreed that should he pass on first, all would go to me, no exceptions, nadda, in order for me to afford to go into assisted living.  I could never manged the house on my own.

Same with me, if I pass on first, all will go to him except my family heirlooms, etc., jewelry which will go to my daughter.  The rest so he can go into assisted living.

We have made an appointment for next week with the attorney because this heat wave is pretty hard on us old folk.

There was a SURPRISE.  He called his daughter up here and talked to her.  He made it clear that he was tired about our wills always coming up and wanted it stopped.  He further told her what we planned to do.   She seemed okay with it verbally but her body langage wasn't in tune.  She couldn't get out of here fast enough.  I doubt we will be seeing much of her now that there is nothing in it for her.

I am getting this resolved ASAP.  Meanwhile, we are sitting down to write out holographic (hand written) wills stating our desires and have the neighbor witness them.   Not the most legal thing, but states tend to want to follow the wishes of the deceased as best they can.

Oh, one thing she did ask, before leaving like a bat out of h*ll, was who was going to be executor for him.   He told her I was.   I think that might have been a last resort to get at things.

I don't know, I just don't trust her.