lots of black clouds. In our early years, there was some interaction with the BMs family.....same as you....like I had leprosy. Some were outright rude. I have been clearly shunned within the religious community in the BMs area. Go figure that one. LOL Several times, when out with DH and his kids, we'd meet up with people they knew or from the past. I wouldn't even get introduced. I finally stuck out my hand at one event and said, "Hi, I'm CajunMom, DHs wife." I'm sure there are more....but I try to not think about those days too much.

I don't have black clouds anymore...I rarely see DHs kids and they are all on notice...be ugly and CajunMom WILL point it out. I interacted with one a few weeks back.....over a two day period...and all went well. Civil and superficial. 

My "black cloud" experience is a little different from yours.  When SD62 was divorced from her DH#2, his family was,apparently angry with her, justifiably, I'm sure, I dont know details.  But when I went to my SKGD's wedding shower, I felt the "black cloud" due to being associated with her mom, SD62.  I went out of my way to be friendly and kind to the other grandma, DH#2's mother and sisters but barely received any response.  It was worse at the wedding.

I just shrugged it off.  I could understand where they were coming from but it wasn't my fault and I could have told them a few stories of my own.

Remember that charismatic leader who convinced a large group of people to drink the coolaide? Thats how I describe it. We all have our own code words for things

With SD25 Feral Forger, I know what her narrative has been all along, its false and it hasnt wavered, although I DID get a little suprise the last conflict that happened when she texted asking for ca$h.

So, my experience has been that some folks on Husband's side are nice, some are friendly, some are nice but superficial, some are downright hostil and some shun me, ie do not acknowledge my existence. The toxic culture of his family is such that anyone with their close DNA is accepted and loved and embraced no matter how dastardly their character and actions (theres a pedophile in there, slimy swindlers, liars, outright theives, narcissists, mean girls, drug addicts, gambling addicts). Having high morals is not required. But oh if you go to church on Sunday, you are practically a saint. Outsiders, esp those of my particular coloring (pale skin, blue eyes) are looked down on.

SD25 Feral Forgers narrative has always been that I "took her dad away, she hasnt had a dad since I came into the picture", which means that when I called her out on her bad behavior and rudeness, he backed me up. But when she was yelling at me and calling me names, he did NOT back me up. When she demanded to move back in and have "her old room" back, she was told (by me) that its no longer "her fathers house", but that WE owned it JOINTLY and were completely 50/50 on EVERYTHING, so she has no power. She cannot pull the daddy-puppet strings because its my house too. He backed me up on that. 

You cannot call someone names, make false accusations, tell lies, and then demand to be able to live with them and be supported by them.

The last time her and daddy cakes had interaction, she texted for money to pay a delinquent phone bill. This was out of the blue, because she doesnt contact him consistently, only for help or money. No relationship beyond that, by HER own design. He didnt have it. We had just replaced our water heater and paid property taxes. She went balistic, saying that "you abandoned me for your WH@RE of a wife, you dont love me." Husband decided to escalate that to "you want to be like that, Ill tell the family how you are..." meaning her thieving ways...and that caused her to explode about him on a family text, saying they are "supporting her abuser". Few in his family reached out after that.

So, I imagine that is the explanation for my dark black cloud. SD25 Feral Forger now has a serious relationship with some dude, so I imagine he and his friends and family are drinking the coolaide now too. Good luck to them.

I used to work with kids when I was younger and never seemed to have a problem with them, all my nieces and nephews and other people’s kids always gravitated toward me as well.  When DH and I met and started dating it really surprised me how cold and distant Spawn acted toward me.  DH swore up and down she was just shy and really liked me but her actions around me always spoke differently.  When Spawn moved in with us, we would encourage her to have her friends over whenever she wanted and I would host birthday parties, end of school parties, sleepovers, etc.  The friends always ignored me and acted cold and distant so I figured that I must have done something or said something wrong but never knew what.  For context they would all sit and chat with DH and be polite to him but never me.  My best friend’s daughter who was also close with Spawn always acted distant and cold around me.  One weekend I was watching BF’s kids and Spawn was at Meth Mouths, I ended up talking to BF’s daughter for a bit and we had a very pleasant conversation.  She later told her mom that she was really surprised at how nice I was given that Spawn told her what a horrible bitch I was.  So, reality was it was never me, it was how Spawn perceived me and portrayed me to other people.  BF’s daughter and I are really close now, I even officiated her wedding and she treats my BD18 like her little sister.

And the Black Cloubs PASSed Out!

Back in the day, Crazy BM and the skids have been shit-talking us for years. Whenever DH and I went to a teacher conference or a PTA meet and greet, Crazy BM always got there first, poisoning the well before we even had a chance. It’s like clockwork. I became DH’s witness, his support, trying to charm these strangers into seeing the truth—that maybe BM was just a victim of her own Malicious Mommy Syndrome.

What’s terrifying is that BM genuinely believes in her own smear campaigns. She’s the perpetual “victim,” and she comes across so convincingly that, at times, it’s almost hard to blame those who fall for her act. With strangers, I can forgive them for being duped.

But with anyone else associated with the Crazy BM and skids, they know right from wrong, but still they have chosen…

When YSD graced us with her presence, she’d occasionally bring along her latest boy-toy. I say boy-toy because, like her BM, YSD is a manipulative player. This male was only used for whatever YSD could get from him and his purpose in their ‘relationship’ if you would call it that, was to be her ‘BPD's Favorite Person.”

Each one of her boy-toys was clearly groomed—prepped on what to say, what not to say, and all carrying the same condescending attitude towards us.

DH, meanwhile, had his head so far up YSD’s backside, he couldn’t see it. Only I could see the blatant disrespect these boy-children were throwing our way. It wasn’t until YSD invited one of her boy-toys to spend the night at BM’s, and he ended up in the hospital after an accident, that DH’s head finally started pulling out of the fog, YSD’s ass.

But, of course, even then, he didn’t blame YSD. No, he blamed the boy-child for "trying to seduce his virginal whittle girl." Virginal? Hah! That was a joke if I ever heard one.

From what I’ve experienced with the skids over the years, one thing is crystal clear—they hate us. If they ever invited us to a BM-side family event, I wouldn’t go. And here’s why: it would be a trap, plain and simple. They don’t want us there to bond or play nice. They’d want us there to humiliate or exclude us, to remind us we’re outsiders. Going would only be setting ourselves up for disrespect and drama, and I’m not about to volunteer for that kind of misery. But it could be for something more insidious.

When I was in my early twenties, my sibling was dating a guy whose family had some very strong opinions. They especially didn’t like the man their sister was marrying. So, at her wedding, the brothers-in-law came up with their own twisted version of a “welcome to the family” gift. They got the guy drunk, took him outside during the reception, and beat him up. I can’t make this sh$t up, sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

 Afterward, they tried to play it off, claiming they were all just drunk and that things had gotten out of hand—plausible deniability, as if that excused anything.

These weren’t your typical thugs, though. These were upper-middle-class people, but with a ghetto mentality when it came to settling their issues—nothing like a well-dressed crew of entitled bullies using their fists to make a point. The Crazy BM and the skids are a few levels lower than those people. 

I don’t think BM would personally lay her hands on DH or me. She’s too afraid of imprisonment and too obsessed with maintaining her pristine reputation as a good Christian gal—barf! But OSD? At 13, she was already trying to get some boy-toy she was “dating” to beat DH up.

Now that time has passed, I’m convinced they’ve all developed a bit more sophistication. Beating us up would be too crude, too obvious. No, they’re smarter than that. Maybe invite us to OSD’s wedding only to rig our car for an "accident." They’d poison us. It’s not like I’d put it past them to go that far while keeping their hands clean.

As I’ve gotten older and seen the darker side of humanity—especially through my interactions with the skids—it’s only reinforced my decision to stay far away from DH’s ex-wife and anyone associated with her. Just yesterday, I heard about a 14-year-old who went to school and shot to death two adults and two kids. Knowing that I live in such a world, I’m not taking any chances. I’m not involving myself with DH’s ex or the skids.

If in the future, the skids come back and ‘play nice’ and DH wants to keep risking it, that’s on him, but I refuse to put myself in harm’s way anymore. It’s not worth the potential danger.  I don’t have a death wish.

At my SO's family events, from the beginning, it was like i was invisible. Family members would either not look at me or speak to me unless i stepped right in front of them and spoke directly to them and then it was as little as possible, or they turned away. I thought it was a cultural or race thing, but then i started getting clues.

My SO tried to deny it, but basically his whole family are super close with BM2. Like, they celebrate the skids' birthdays, with HER, instead of my SO, their own family member. And there's this "posse" (yeah, that's what they call themselves) and it's all of my SO's female family members of his generation including 3rd cousins, and they regularly have girls' nights and parties, and BM is part of it. Even his brother still hangs out with BM2 regularly and every family wedding has her there, right in the middle of the festivities. I never had a chance. 

I get it. I went in wide-eyed and fully open--kids, especially teens, and I normally get along very well. I am my nieces' and nephews' favorite aunt. I am outgoing, friendly, and compassionate. There have been so many black cloud moments with skids that I can't list them all. Maybe the worst was SD's wedding, where both DH and I were shunned (for the most part), but by that time, I was so used to it I didn't give a crap. I was just trying to do the right thing and begged DH not to walk out and fulfill BM's narrative of him.

One image ingrained in my mind was when SD, toxic BM, and the wedding planner arranged "the first look" of DH seeing SD in her wedding gown for the first time (with lots of pictures, none of which DH kept, even though they were truly beautiful). The wedding planner told me to stand out-effing side, FAR from the scene, although BM, her friend, and others were all there.. DH was pissed. He said, "My wife is not standing down there in the cold waiting." Therefore, I was standing there with DH when SD made her "first look" entrance. Yea, it was a first look alright. Her face literally dropped when she saw me. It was as if she came face to face with the devil. I've honestly never had anyone look at me like that. It looked like I had ruined her day. It was both extremely disturbing--it is alarming to have someone look at you like that--but, later in life, laughable. Skids are out of my life. Their loss. Aholes.  

Unfortunately it takes a long time to figure out that SK are back stabbing people.  Instead of being Proper and telling you to your face that dint like you. Want nothing to do with you,  that will take your tine, money and effort then kick you and back stab you. 
'That's why disengagement, what going to happen eventually.  Should begin early.  Everybody takes a side. You don't spend time, effort, and money on them.  
 

''The end result will be the same,  so keep your time,,effort, money 

Yes, I experienced the black cloud with SD's but mostly with BM's side of the family. They all think like a hive mind. 

I especially experienced this when the sociopathic SD ( oldest ) decided to tell a lie about me and then suddenly, all 3 SD's "remembered" it happening, although the instance in question was years ago and there was no one there except me and sociopath. So, yes, its mind-bending to realize how fast you can be demonized by a herd of illiterate bottom feeders. 

Not so much a SKid dark cloud but a series of IL dark clouds and toxic opposition dark clouds.

I won the Skid and SParent marriage lottery.  DW is amazing, she and I were immediately on the same page that our marriage and each other were the sole top priority and the SKid was the top relationship responsibility. Two very different things. 

My XILs were all about the facade of a quality family.  XW was a serially adulterous skank whore.  The XIL clan were crooks.  XMIL embezzled $millions from her employer over decades. The whole clan was sued by the employer and ordered to pay $millions back to the business owner.  My XW was on the hook for a bunch of that settlement.  They were recognized leaders in their church. Presented as extremely devout.  Not.

 I escaped without sullying my gene pool with that cesspool of genetic crap and almost 20 years before the Federal Marshals caught up with them.

My ILs are an interesting crew.  Also a facade of a close family but with an undercurrent of backstabbing bullshit that rotates through a different person periodically.  No one, but me and DW, will call them on it. They know they will get called on it. They retreat when we bare ass of the one plying the toxic bullshit. Everyone gets irritated with us because we will not tolerate the crap. Then the whole clan rallies, things get far better for quite a while. Then.. the memory of the ass baring fades and the whole cycle starts again.

The blended family opposition was also the bearer of the dark cloud for even more than the 16+ years we lived under the CO until SS-32 aged out from under it at 18.  We tolerated no bullshit and brought the pain when they violated our boundaries.

The stories are volumnous.  Suffice it to say our goal was to tolerate only reasonable behavior and when whoever violated that standard, we brought the pain.  Period. Dot.

I never tolerated any shunning of my bride by my family, they never tried and never would do that, nor did I tolerate any of that crap from either sets of my ILs and for damned sure did not tolerate any crap from the toxic blended family opposition (Spermclan).

Take care of you.  Tolerate no bullshit. Do not lament the past, embrace living your best life now.  Never forget that living well is the best revenge. Enjoy exacting your revenge.