I am an older stepdaughter,  never saw my SD as anything other then my Dad. I come from a family of 5 sisters, 4 of which, from 7 to 13 years, were still living at home when our mum met our SD. this year my SD, now in 80s,  shocked me with a comment that has raised emotional turmoil for me.

Background- we had a very traumatic childhood with my biological Dad's mental heath and alcoholism, mental abuse, threatening self harm in front of us when I was young. My mum tried everything to help him, his Psychiatrist finally told her, for all our safety, she must leave the love of her life, which she did.

Back then there was no parent pension, dad too unwell to hold down a job which meant no child support. My mum worked 2 jobs to keep us all together.  Our oldest sister left school at 14 to care for us.

My Mum met our SD when I was 10. He provided safety, stability and mentorship. He taught me the value of money and how to be self reliant in being able to do home and car maintenance and repair and I hada lot of fun in the process with father and daughter time I had never known before.

 If he lent money, I had to pay back every cent, if I borrowed a tool and damaged it, I had to make new. My biological father had caused us so much pain. He left this world when I was 14. I had a stronger bond with SD and called him my Dad, never my Stepdad.I paid board from the time I left school and went to work. My parents brought the family home when I was 13 and it is still the family home 50 years later.

My parents had their own and first son when I was 17. I have always loved my brother, never felt he was a.stepbrother, he is my flesh and blood, just as my SD is.

I  never asked my parents for money. I paid for my first car, our wedding, our first home, our own children, at times we had $20 in the bank, but we managed on our own. My other sisters did ask for quite a lot.of money, as well as help in weddings, bailing out their spouses etc. I would drive or  fly home every year with our small children, which was a financial burden, but I love our family and mum always instilled the importance of family.

Our Mum passed last year in her 80s after a long battle with dementia.  My Dad was her loving carer and supported by my 2 sisters, 1 that lived back at home from her 40s (rent free and rarely worked) and a sister that lived close b who.did work as.wellas community projects, so very busy.

I remember one year my Dad sent me $5,000 and " unlike your sister's,  you never ask for anything,  so please use this as you please", this paid for replacement of our 50 year old kitchen,  I still hold this note dear to my heart.

The Will and inheritance never interested me, because it was my parents that worked hard for everything they owned. The family home use to be filled with all the children's photos, treasures of my mum that her children gifted her over the years. My Dad threw a lot of things out after Mum's passing and was going to throw away all the family photos, but I saved them all and shared with my siblings.

I returned home early this year with my eldest sister,  after a 2 day road trip for our Dad and our Mum's first anniversary of passing, to all be together and care for each other.

To arrive and find all that remained on the walls was photos of my brother's children only. I thought it was a bit strange. It felt like our history had been erased.

A few months later, I phoned my Dad for Father's Day. Dad brought up the Will and he said that because his son' children  are his "flesh and blood", that he will be leaving everything to them, but that my brother has flatly refused and said all siblings should be included. Dad is not happy. I didn't discuss my feelings over the statement made by my Dad (I have also only spoke to my husband about my feelings and not with my sister, as I  know they would be upset too).

I advised my Dad that the Will is his to do what he chooses.

But, I always hear the horror stories of cruel step children, I am at a loss to understand how a Dad can flip like he has. I know he is elderly, but still doesn't make things easier and I know my Mum would be very cranky if she was still alive and able minded.

Any tips on how to move on please?