Many of you are (or were) familiar with my scenario. However, I see a lot of new ID's on here. For those not familiar with my story and who wish to know it, you can review past posts, if you're so inclined.

I was blindsided with divorce papers 2 years ago. I had several consults with attorneys as I didn't see things getting better, especially after DH (22 years my senior) was diagnosed with brain damage due to alcoholism, and with his daughter-wife dominating our marriage with no end in site.

I had internal and external shingles immediately after being blindsided by divorce papers. I had to have my kidney and liver levels monitored weekly for 2 months becasue, apparently it can be deadly. Then I thought I was having  a heart attack . Instead, it was severe anxiety. Next, it was double pneumonia. I'm a very healthy, non-drinker/non-smoker who walks a minimum of 5 miles a day. I do not get sick! Stress, however catches up to you!

Because he had me stop my career, to help with his career/ranch etc. and because he controlled ALL MONEY, credit cards etc. making an exit plan was next to impossible.

His dementia got so much worse  very quickly, as time went on. He couldn't see I was the one there for him for all of his surgeries, illnesses and doctor visits. I was dedicated and loyal to him in every way. He believed everything SD and SS told him. It really was very sad. I wondered, who will take care of him when I'm not here? God prepares your heart for the battle though, thankfully. He would tell me horrible things like, "You're a horrible f'n animal." "You SOB, get your f'n a** off this ranch." You own NOTHING. DO you understand?? You're nothing but a Nig**r whore!" None of it even made sense.

Against all odds, and going through $40K in fees, and 2 attys who  had been paid off by DH and SD, I am finally out of the hell and horrors I was subjected to for so many years. It sounds all cut and dry in that one sentence, but it was nothing but visceral hatred on their behalf the entire 2 years.

I'm ex number 4, which tells its own story. He's a serial divorcee', but for some reason needed SDs help all along the way. She paid the retainer, she was essentially the client, while brain dead daddy went along with EVERYTHING she proposed, like a chimpanzee on a string. He was in decline and had mental issues among other health concerns. SD and their atty insisted he was just fine. While daddy who is almost 80 years old now, insited he didn't want the divorce, but SD made him go through with it. We had never even spoken about it, EVER. After that, there was a preliminary hearing and I was ordered off ranch (it's in a fake LLC). There had been no violence on my behalf, but meanwhile the atty I hired advised me to stay put there, and not leave. I slept with a 9mm in a holster with 3 extra loaded magazines every night for months before this. I wasn't allowed to go back for ANYTHING. Not my precious dogs which were gifted to me exclusively by my kids and a former student. Had I been on life saving medications, I couldn't get those either. I was allowed to get NOTHING. No winter coat, and when I asked DH to drop one off for me, he refused, though he and son were winterizing the ranch! That cost me $800 to call atty to call his atty to force him to bring my $20 coat I'd gotten at an estate sale years before. He had been abusive to my small dogs,which he cared nothing about, I did all the walking, feeding, vet visits, bathing etc.  I worried about them daily. Cameras that were installed after he fell and nearly died, were ordered to come down, so I couldn't see my dogs even on camera. He refused to let me even see them. 

He lied in all the discovery about cattle values, his financial standing etc. All that got a free pass. Daugther red lined my living expenses and it was determined I could survive off $750/month after being entirely dependent upon him for 15 years. I went through 2 grueling and very expensive mediations that were scewed in his favor. He and his kids are all millionaires, but they hide thier wealth in fake LLCs etc.

There is so much more struggle and horror that ensued, but too much to type, but you all are intelligent. Draw your own conclusions.

Long story short, I basically finally ended up with my dogs, a vehicle 6 years old with 112K miles on it, and had to buy him out at 100% equity on the small place we were buying together, and I had fully remodeled, basically at my own expense (selling valuable heirloom jewelry to pay for it) and did on my own with assistance from a contractor. I would've been homeless at Chirstmas at that point. He could've bought me out, but then what? So had I taken that deal, they stipulated I'd have to be out by Christmas, which was 16 days after mediation. They'd be able to do walk throughs and if everything wasn't to their liking, then they could make me fix whatever it was, and meanwhile, my share of my buyout would be slowly depleted by the day until it was to their liking.

When I did everything I was obligated to do, bought him out, changed everything into my name, utilities etc. they drew up all kinds of deeds etc for me to sign stating if I missed ANY payment related to the house, HOA fees etc, then the house would be reposessesed and I would be responsible for atty fees associated with the repo! There is so much more I could say about it all. Nobody has ever heard of a divorce going this way, EVER~

I am telling you all of this so I can tell you THIS! God works in mysterious ways. Because of their lies, dysfunction and emotionally incestuous relationship, I was led to this page back in 2018, when I was verbally pistol whipped by SD as DH looked on and never interfered. It was shocking. I have met some of the most wonderful people on this page that I am still in contact with today. Some of them are RAGS, SANDY and several more...I'm so grateful for this page and the frienships I've forged and the advice I received. It helped me realize the DH was THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. Still, I tried to love him , as dysfunctional as our lives have become.

I'm grateful to God each and every day for delivering me from this viper pit of dysfunction.

I've moved on and never looked back, not even once. Their dysfunction was my blessing in disguise. I'm not advocatiing divorce, but when there's obviously no other pathway to peace, I do.

I've remarried, moved out of the area,  custom ordered my brand new vehicle and I'm working and thrinving again. I didn't even recognize the submissive, isolated shell of a person I had become all those years. Taking only the scraps he'd give me. My husband now tells me, 'Well, here you OWN EVERYTHING, BECAUSE YOU ARE EVERYTHING. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" We are able to laugh about it all now. But it was by far the most stressful time of my life. Some days I didn't know if I was going to make it, but I kept on pressing forward, never looking back, and I did get through it.

Ladies, it can be so much better! I'm living proof, and so are several other women I've met here!! If someone would've told me with certainty I'd be living THIS LIFE I AM LIVING TODAY 3 years ago, I would never have believed them!

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes: "The reason your front windshield in your car is so  much bigger than the back one is because WHERE YOU'RE GOING IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN WHERE YOU'VE BEEN."