Hey, honey... come here...

DH says to me last night.

(SD19, unmarried, with fast food job is preggers for those of you just joining.)

SD's ultrasound pics all over FB, everyone congratulating her, DH is oohing and ahhhing, and SS is cackling about how excited he is to be an uncle.

Grr.

I have them all blocked on FB for a reason. I don't want any part of their stupidity. I don't have any of DH's family (guess that makes them my family, too??) friended on FB because I never know about that "friends of friends" thing. I figure, out of sight, out of mind.

So, I say, "Hmmm." Then I try to be "nice" and say, "Honey, we should probably send SD a congratulations card."

He says, "Why?"

Aannnnnd, I stumble. My response? "To congratulate her on keeping the welfare rolls full!"

OOPS.

Then I say, "I've heard that's the polite thing to do when someone's expecting."

SIGH.

I'm not sure I'm up for this challenge.

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Oh boy - sounds like you may

Oh boy - sounds like you may have opened a can of worms with DH eh?

Weird how happy he is that his TEENAGE daughter is PREGNANT, you know? I would think that would be the last thing he'd want for her especially since she really doesn't have much of a job to fully support herself + 1.

Anyhow, what did he say after the welfare comment?

He actually didn't say

He actually didn't say anything. Go figure. :?

I don't think he's excited yet (per se) but I know he wants to be excited. Does that make any sense? (I'm still trying to figure it out.)
He and BM were teen parents, and so was I. We KNOW what is in store for her. DH and BM got married and supported each other, whereas my "baby daddy" was gone after the first year, never to be heard from again.

I don't know which way this will go for her.

Anyway, DH has been saying for a long time now that he wants to be a grandfather. That's been the joke between us...no point in having an "ours" baby when the grandkids will be coming shortly! Well, this is a little TOO shortly, if you kwim.

Yeah that makes sense. He

Yeah that makes sense. He wants grandkids, but maybe not this soon, but figures since you both were teen parents and did alright, his daughter will be ok too????? That's what I get from it anyway, but I don't know you guys!

That's the part I don't

That's the part I don't get... SD has BEEN on the depo shot since she was whoring around at FOURTEEN!!!

I don't think this was an "accidental" pregnancy. I voiced that opinion once to DH, and then I left it alone.

Worst part of MY SD getting

Worst part of MY SD getting preggo at the ripe old age of 16....my DH had been paying for half of the medical expenses for SD...INCLUDING BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!

Yeah, if she would have been MY daughter, she would have been on the shot - especially after we found out that she was sneaking out at night (of her BM's place, not ours) AND had even sneaked her boyfriend INTO the BM's apartment! BUT, I was only the SM, what did I know??

That's the really weird

That's the really weird part... up until July, she was on DH's insurance, so we got the EOBs showing the pregnancy test (required before they gave the shot) AND the shot.

Really weird.

That is weird because Depo

That is weird because Depo stops you from ovulating. You don't even get a period. I was on it for 7 years and it took me 18 months of willingly trying to get pregnant after stopping the shots. I did not even get a period for a month or two after stopping the shots.

Of course there are always those .001% that it does not work for, but Depo can cause serious birth defects to prego women.

I'm beginning to wonder if

I'm beginning to wonder if she had a friend going in for her.

Alas, conspiracy theories abound.

It was May or June. I'd have

It was May or June. I'd have to pull the EOBs and I'm not sure I care that much.

What happened to the good old

What happened to the good old days when you were shamed and shunned for being a teen mom? (sarcasm) That is how it was when I had my first child at 17. My parents were NOT happy, my friends DISOWNED me, my baby daddies mom HATED me, and pretty much everyone I knew was calling me a whore behind my back. And still life continued to get worse after that... There must be a flaw in the system somewhere, because I work with girls almost 10 years younger than me who have 2 or 3 children already, and some of them were "planned." If an unmarried 19 year old living at home can call her 2nd child planned, that is.

I swear, she CELEBRATED. By 8

I swear, she CELEBRATED. By 8 weeks along, absolutely everyone knew.

And I know what you mean. I had my first kid at 19. I was called a whore by everyone for years. Including my own parents. (Yeah, and I've had sex with a whopping THREE men in my life...two husbands, and the prick who knocked me up as a teen. Yeah, total whore here.)

I don't want her to be shamed; I just want her to feel some responsibility. Of course, what I "want" matters not.

I hate when people act

I hate when people act excited about their illigitimate teen pregnancy. What's there to be excited about? Another girl mostly likely to end up on welfare, unwed, and another baby will be born to a broken home.

Excited for a lifetime of

Excited for a lifetime of hardship, no freedom, no money, being unappreciated, and knowing you brought a child into a broken family.... NO THANKS.

Very hard, yes. Freedom? All

Very hard, yes. Freedom? All gone during my teens and early twenties. Am now in my 40's with adult kids and have many more amazing years ahead of me. You're unappreciated no matter at what age you become a parent. At the time, I was with the baby daddy. Spent 9 years with the asshole. I would have been better off being a single parent.
Not all teen pregnancy is so tragic.

SAF - this can go either way.

SAF - this can go either way. I had my first born 3 days shy of my 16th bday. Yes, awful, I know. However...Having that baby completely changed my entire life. Before him, I was just a hot mess. Most of the people I knew than are either dead, in jail or drug addicts.
Only have a GED since I dropped out in the 9th grade but I am a very responsible and hardworking citizen. I own my home, I have been at the same job going on 20 years, I make a really decent living and I am a very involved and good mother. I know you may disagree with some of my parenting skills, (whacking my smart mouthed teen across the mouth didn't fly very well with you) but my boys are beautiful, healthy, intelligent, well spoken and well mannered. Do they act like little turds every now and then YES, but having my kids young did not ruin my life, despite the odds.
Maybe motherhood will set her straight? Who knows...

One can hope. She's not

One can hope.

She's not really totally messed up...she's just DUMB as bricks (not her fault) and really dependent. She, for all her faults, though, is FAR more motivated than SS is. She's been at the same fast food place for 2 or 3 years now.

I just figure since BM would rather DIE than spend a penny on her princess, it's the taxpayers picking this one up. She got on medicaid as soon as DH's coverage ended. Next up, WIC and foodstamps.

Sigh. I hope this helps her to mature. She's all over daddy now, and she's ignored him the past couple of years.
Either she's thinking about parenthood or she wants money/stuff.
I won't tell you my vote. }:)

Holding a job for almost 3

Holding a job for almost 3 years is a good sign. I'll be honest. I was on WIC and food stamps for the first few years after having my son. However, I also worked under the table because as you know, we need some SERIOUS welfare reform in this country. If I said I worked, they wouldn't help me, so I had to lie and get paid under someone elses name in order to make ends meet.
There was no greater feeling than being able to walk into that welfare office and telling my case worker that I was very thankful for the help but that I had found a job and no longer needed assistance.
She actually gave me an extra 3 months of help just because.
For me, having a baby gave me purpose. It was no longer about me, instead it was about making sure that child was taken care of. I hope your SD does ok. I wish her luck.

I'm sorry, UFR, but I don't

:jawdrop:

I'm sorry, UFR, but I don't consider welfare fraud a "success story."

I can't with you lady.

I can't with you lady. Seriously. It was either that or let my kids starve, so I did what I had to do to keep them fed, clothed and sheltered. I wasn't stripping on a pole or selling drugs. I was working a 9 to 5 getting paid 250.00 a week that wasn't enough to provide for me and my child. I also wasn't calling my mommy or daddy to help feed my kid.
Call it what you will.

Thankfully you didn't say

Thankfully you didn't say something along the lines of "SD should have swallowed that load" cause that would have been hilarious {sarcasm}

Written in a sympathy card.

OH YES!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO

OH YES!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO }:)

I have thought about creating

I have thought about creating a "broken home" card line. Like for father's day "Happy Father's day dad... too bad you were never there and I hate you." or in this case a sympathy card to your SD "Congratulations on your bastard pregnancy, next time you should swallow."

You are here

Hey, honey... come here...

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