Ok-I've blogged about this before I just dont know what to freaking do about it.

My dh and his pals. The excessive amounts of time he spends with these people. The fact that, they, well mostly one is over here nearly every freaking day. It seemed like it had gotten better for awhile. They were coming over more while I was at work-which I dont mind too much as long as dh still gets things accomplished, but here in the last couple of weeks it's kicked into high gear again. But then he always makes me feel like I'm overreacting.

So instance #1-I am off every other Monday-all the kids are at school-it a whole day he and I could spend alone. Awesome, right? not so much. Last Monday when I was off-both our dd and I had dental appts first thing in the morning-which we'd be back by 10 or so so we'd still have the whole day to spend. He makes a point of telling me days prior that he doesnt wish to go along with us for our dental appts. Well, ok. I guess if he doesnt feel like sitting there, I get that, it's nice to have company for me, and he complains of being bored all the time at home, but Ok-I guess its not a big deal. Well, instead when that day arrives he goes with his two friends to THEIR dr's appts that are over an hour away. He leaves before I get back and is gone all day. He tells me they asked him to go to help show them where the office was. WTF? Cant they use Mapquest? Call the office and get directions? These are two grown men that had appts-between the two of them surely they could figure it the eff out. But ok.

Instace #2 I took a sick day yesterday. Not really sick, but had been very fatigued, not sleeping well, and just feeling like I had alot to do at home, so I took one of my sick days. Slept in, got my stuff done, by noon. Dh was working on a project and quit about 2:00-so then we were talking about watching a movie together-renting one of pay per view. So I rent it. Then his friend shows up. After he told me his friend wasnt coming over. They go outside to smoke and then dh comes rushing in and tells me he is going to ride with his pal to the dentist as he has a toothache and they need to pull his tooth immediately. (Friend already had a dentist appt scheduled the next am). The same dentist he did not feel like going with me and dd to. I told him the office was closed and then he said we'll go to the er-I said, well I guess I'll see you around 10pm tonight. He knew I was pissy and ended up not going (although I'm pretty sure the friend deferred and said let's not go). I feel like he completely ditched our plans and alone time to ride along with his friend to the dentist for a toothache. Or he was going to anyway.

Instance #3-I get to have lunch at home on Wednesdays. The only day I can do so. The first time in my career I have been able to do so-I like it. Alot. It's a luxury for me. I've had this issue before with him having guests in the house at this time. One time he had another woman he barely knew cooking up a meal in my kitchen. I went to my office and sat alone for an hour instead. Today, he once again has his pals over there. They are helping him with a project. Great, Im glad he has some help. But really-they have to help on the one day, during the 45 minute span I'm home? Couldnt they come later? Couldnt they come tomorrow? couldnt you have just done it yourself? So once again I am sitting alone in my office as I dont feel like hanging out with dh's pals during my lunch. He's ok with me sitting by myself here while he hangs out with his pals.

So far this week (starting with Monday)-he has had guests over every single day. Each time when I was home or supposed to be at home-not during the many hours I'm at work-but no, when I am home. Despite the fact that none of them work and can arrange their visits during teh otehr 40 hours a week I'm not present-which I've already said I'm fine with. The one friend likes to come over at 9pm or so when all my kids are trying to get ready for bed and go to sleep. I dont know if they will be over tomorrow-but I do know we will also be seeing friend on Friday as we already made plans with him to go out. Every freaking day, people. Dh will do the most mundane things with these guys-ride along to go to the bank, dr., help them clean our their garage, whatever-but when I want him to go somewhere he doesnt feel like going. This weekend, main friend was out of town-we had my dd's christmas program to go to and my other dd's basketball game. Dh complained about attending both events. Didnt want to go. (although he always ends up enjoying himself)-however i have NEVER heard him complain about being asked to go to the dr., dentist, take the trash off, go the store, etc with these guys. Last night i actually asked him if he was gay. I feel like he is getting all of his social, emotional, companionship needs met by these guys and he really just needs nor wants anything else at this point from me except sex.

am I overreacting? And how can i get him to respect my boundaries? I've given up on him getting some of his own-but I feel like he needs to at least respect mine.