SO TIRED of this F'ing FAMILY
I'm so over being a part of this family.
I remind DH that he needs to be putting lotion on DD1 in the morning (he gets her dressed most mornings since I'm at work) because she has ezcamea(sp??), and to make sure of some other small thing. He gets upset and tells me that I don't need to control everything. The next morning he apologizes and says that he feels like I treat him like a child and don't trust him. That night I remind him once that rent is due the following day- again he takes it by because I'm at work when they are open. The following day, I shoot him a text checking to make sure he took it by, and HE FORGOT! You tell me not to treat you like a child and trust you then when I don't remind you five times to go something, you forget!!!! I wanted to scream that at him so bad, but didn't, just let it go.
I've asked them (DH and SD11) so many times to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, not in the sink or left out. Yes, it's a little thing, but it is just one more step for me every time. And neither one of them can figure out what is trash or recycling. AGAIN, a little thing, yes, but just more work for me when it is easier for them just to pay attention to what they are doing!! I mentioned it again to DH that it would help if these things could be taken care. He gets up on my case and says that it not that big of a deal. Yes, I know!! But I'm the one who is constantly picking up after the two of them, so of course it doesn't bother them.
Of course, in our bedroom is dirty glasses, empty food wrappers and bowls all on DH side of the bed. In addition to probably 6 pairs of dirty socks, even though the dirty clothes hamper is a foot away! It is just pure laziness and I'm so tired of it. I leave it all because I can't keep picking up after him, he's a damn grown man!!!
Also, I have made a deal with SD11 that she only has to clean the bathroom if she gets her toothpaste all over the counter, or leaves wet kleenex balls in the shower. Surprise, I find two of them so she's got two weeks of bathroom duty. Then she half asses it and I make her do it again. She has to do it four times because she just half asses everything and then gets an attitude with me. UM SORRY! It is her fault she has to clean it and if she just did it right the first time she would have been done 10 minutes ago.
Before any of you judge me for being too controlling or obsessing about the little things, let me tell you I do pretty much everything around the house. I make all dinners, pick up, wash dishes, grocery shop, take the trash out, keep all their schedules straight and take care of DD1- get up with her 6 nights a week for feedings, changing and showers everyday! So although these are little things to be irritated by, they can't even do the simplest jobs, like putting up dirty dishes or keep kleenex balls out of the shower! That's why I'm so tired of this family. I have to pick up after them, a grown ass man and more than capable 11 year old.
So either I have to constantly nag, which is annoying and a waste of my energy, or keep my mouth shut and NOTHING GETS DONE! So annoyed. I can't keep doing everything all the time for this "family" of four. I'm bout ready to just take care of me an DD1 and leave them do deal. He can buy the food for them and rot in their own stink- if only!
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Comments
Stop saying and start
Stop saying and start doing.
Depending on how angry you actually are, there are a few options. I'd personally start serving them their dinners in plastic/paper disposable containers because they are unable to do that "little" thing of getting their dishes in the washer. These get left out? They get served their next meal in the dirty dish. Until it gets Thrown Out. When they get consistent, they get real dishes again. Which go in the Dish Washer. Can't make it? It goes in their bed. (I'd be sleeping elsewhere...)
Tissues in the shower (what the F do you need tissues in a shower for??) would also go on her pillow. The clothes not in the hamper don't get washed. (My DH and I had a mini-feud about that for about 2 weeks when he ran out of laundry and I shrugged and told him that I'd done what I'd always told him I would do - the laundry that was in the basket - if it's not in the basket, he must not think it's dirty.)
I'd also be taking photos and then keeping a day planner of all the crap your man is forgetting and when he goes off like a moron about you reminding him about something pertaining to the health of your baby, I'd present him with both and tell him "This is why I remind you. The baby can't fend for herself and this is why I feel you need to be told again." Then walk away.
If DH got on my case about how something was "not that big a deal" I'd tell him Great, then why the hell aren't YOU doing it if it's not that big a deal? If it's not a big deal, you take care of it. Oh you're not doing it so obviously it Is a big deal."
Frigging Lazy Ass. Both of 'em. I'd go on strike. You work. You aren't the maid. Just stop Doing for either of them.
Thank you. That is great
Thank you. That is great advice. I am actually going to buy all paper plates and plastic spoons and cups, once I get paid. And I stopped doing his laundry last year because I would always wash it and put it up and he can't do for me so I stopped doing it for him. I am gonna make some changes in 2013 because you are right, I AM NOT A MAID and I didn't marry into this lifestyle forever.
I hear you. My DH insists on
I hear you. My DH insists on paying the utilities - which is to be from our joint account.
1. He is constantly late - its all I can do not to look - they are not in my name currently so I do let it go more than I used to but with auto pay everything these days, come on !!! Last year we got a disconnection notice - the money is there, its not a financial issue, its a DH can't remember issue.
2. He doesn't transfer the money for utilities from the joint account to his credit card which he uses to pay the utilities to get points - then complains he is broke - broke??? DH did you transfer, um no I forgot - OMG DH - you sign into the bank to pay your credit card online - just click the little drop list to choose which account to pay from - its not that hard, choose the OTHER account and pay your card for the amount you charged for utilities - I do not feel guilt or sorry for him.
DH doesn't like when I do 'man' chores around the house - well if I don't do them, they don't get done - waiting 3 weeks to change a lightbulb, give me a friggin break.
what would possess an 11 year
what would possess an 11 year old to take kleenex into the shower??? My BS3 would even be disgusted by this... wth?
She says she gets soap in her
She says she gets soap in her eye!!! RIDICULOUS! I just find these little wet balls of tissue or toilet paper all the time and it is ridiculous because she's in the shower. I told her next time I find one, cleaning the bathroom becomes her chore permanently.
I like your approach.
I like your approach.
I make SD11 clean out her
I make SD11 clean out her oatmeal bowl because she wouldn't rinse it, and oatmeal is like glue- the dishwasher can't even get it off once it's dried. There were plenty of times I made her wash it out and use it the next morning.
I think we all have these
I think we all have these battles. My whole family is the same about throwing things in teh trash. I cant tell you how many empty boxes and such I find in the pantry, on the kitchen table, on the floor, etc. Dishes in the dishwasher? Who the heck does that? my family leaves them wherever-I feel super lucky if they put them in the sink. Because they are piss poor at taking care of this daily stuff, I have no qualms about asking them to do their own laundry, vaccum, dust, do the bathrooms,etc. Which amazingly they do. Dh does things around the house I dont do (he cooks almost all the meals, repairs things, household projects)so I tell myself it evens out.
I, however, had a HUGE problem when ss was here. He was messier than probably anyone. Seriously, not just my sm opinion. But, he, would NOT come along later and clean the bathroom, vaccuum or whatever it was that I asked. He did not feel that he had to contribute to the household at all. So essentially someone in that household was doing every single thing for this 14 kid-someone was doing his laundry, making sure he had clean towels, buying groceries and snacks for him, cooking for him, cleaning up after him-every single thing. And I got VERY resentful.
I started putting his dirty dishes on his bed. He would let teh dogs out of their kennels and not take them out and they'd poop on the floor. Guess where the poop ended up? You got it-on his bed. His clothes and blankets that he dirtied or peed on-ended up in a garbage bag in the garage. I stopped cooking meals-I'd take my kids out or I came up with quick convenient things they could make for themselves. I seriously minimized teh grocery shopping-bought snacks for my kids to keep in their rooms. You dont do what I say, kid? You are going to regret it. How all this would have played out in the long run I'm not sure-we were about a month into it when he moved out.
Thank all of you. You have
Thank all of you. You have made me feel less crazy. I thought I was constantly obsessing for no reason. My theory was that if you teach kids young to be responsible they grow up to be responsible adults. Picking up after one's self is just common courtesy to the people you live with I think. It is just amazing how lazy DH is. Yes he works more than I do and later, but really, you walk through the kitchen to get to the bedroom, yet I am constantly finding his dinner dish and glasses full of water, juice and EVEN MILK, the next morning. I know his mother raised him better. He is just lazy and I try to leave it for him, but he'll go like almost 2 weeks without picking up. I think they are ready for a come to Jesus talk!!!