Receiving Mail Adddressed to FDH and BM
This is one of those things that shouldn't bother me and isn't reflective of any wrong-doing but damn it pisses me off to see mail arrive at my house addressed to FDH and BM. I just checked my mail and saw soemthing addressed to them as joint tenants. Possibly some old investment account or something.... I know it's silly but it irks the hell out of me to have her always in my face. I can't even check my mail without running into a reminder of her.
Who is with me? Does this irritate you too?
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Ew. Yep, it irritates me. But
Ew. Yep, it irritates me. But it makes DH positively shudder!
I felt the same way!
I felt the same way! Especially after we'd moved into our OWN apartment and SHE was getting mail there. Not only her but some addressed to the both of them like Mr. and Mrs. _______. This was almost 2 yrs after they'd divorced and we were already engaged. Disgusted me.
I totally get your irritation because I felt the same. It got to the point where I refused to get the mail anymore! He called every single company sending him mail and told them she was NOT his wife anymore. After we got married, it pretty much stopped. I haven't seen a piece addressed to her since.
There is really something
There is really something disconcerting about seeing their names together (same last name, different than mine since we're not yet married) addressed to OUR home.
I do hope it stops when we get married. But until he gets her name off everything once and for all, it won't stop. Hell, a few weeks ago he whipped out his rewards card at a damn liquor store and the clerk looked at me and called me her name. He was seriously still carrying a liquor store rewards card with her name attached to it all these years later.
I emailed him about this piece of mail. He asked me to open it. It's an old stock account from a job years ago. He says he needs to get her off it because it wasn't part of the divorce settlement so she has no business being on there. Of course, they'e been divorced 6 years so I can't imagine why he hasn't dealt with this before. I suppose he didn't have a live-in GF who had it with the constant intrusion of that woman before.
I hear ya. And yes, he needs
I hear ya. And yes, he needs to do away with all accounts with her attached, otherwise, it'll never end.
Omg! I just went through
Omg! I just went through this! I have said somethin to FDH before not blaming him at all but something on the order of "ICK, that fat bitch does not have your last name or live here y the f did this come "
Now I rip it up, we get something maybe 2x a year that has her name on it with HIS last name- now that irks me,
I wonder if I circle it and set it out for the mailman with deceased written on it if it will stop? I doubt it huh?
Too funny. I just said the
Too funny.
I just said the same thing about his last name in a comment above.
We are moving soon and I just put in a change of address. I was trying to figure out how to instruct the USPS to NOT deliver any mail containing her name.
I hate it!!! Even after all
I hate it!!! Even after all these years we still get mail either addressed to both of them or just to her. When I first moved in she was using his address for her mail :jawdrop: . He kept telling her to change it but she wouldn't do it. So she would text him constantly to see if she got any mail and he would take it to her!!! Once I moved in that stopped and everything with her name got returned to the post office }:) }:) She was so mad LOL!!!
DH moved in with me and DH
DH moved in with me and DH and BM were never married. So, thankfully, I never had to deal with seeing mail addressed to the skank. Getting mail FROM her was bad enough!!!!
However, what DID piss me off to no end was when we went to court to OK an insurance settlement for SD. They made mention of BM as being DH's ex-wife AND HE NEVER CORRECTED THEM! I was so pissed. I am his ONE and ONLY wife. She is just a baby mama.
I love that you keep it in
I love that you keep it in your car.
In my case, they were married for many years, have 4 kids together and there are still some things they have jointly, like the 529 account. I don't get mail for just her. It's always the two of them. So I can't red Sharpie my way through it.
But now that I realize that there may be more accounts that she has no business on, I am going to be watching closely for more mail like this and ensuring he takes her greedy ass off his accounts that shouldn't belong to her.
OMG. I would have been livid
OMG. I would have been livid over the mortgage. That's just crazy.
The good news is that we only have 4 more years of alimony. Child support and college are another matter. I suppose through the years she will slowly fade into the background and only show up at big events. But until then, I have to see her stupid name in my mailbox.
I had to take my DH to the ER
I had to take my DH to the ER about 6 months ago. When they triaged him, they pulled his information up on the computer. Then referred to me by BM's name. And asked if DH still lived at (BM's address - where he NEVER lived). I quickly corrected the registration person on my name and DH's address, only to be referred to as BM's name over and over and over again.
Funny, he was in the ER one other time about 1 1/2 years ago and they had all of his information correct -- me as the spouse, our address, etc.
After I stopped dry-heaving, I actually wondered how in the world it all got turned around....
I went through this because
I went through this because DH and BM lived in the same house for 25 years. So everywhere I went it would come up.
Mail - this took months to straighten out. I would cringe every time we got her mail. DH would always send it with SS finally I told DH she needed to put in for an address change and I stopped forwarding her mail to her. Instead back in the mailbox it would go with return to sender no forwarding address.
I started having DH take her off of everything joint even though you would have thought it would have already been done after 3 years.
the doctors office - they had her next of kin
the hospital - same
life insurance - she was still listed as beneficiary :sick:
utilities - her name was on some of them
CVS and Walgreens - their rewards card was together.
It seemed like every time I turned around for the first 2 years I had to deal with that. Ughhh...
OMG this is so familiar.
OMG this is so familiar. Every time I turn around it is something!
We actually had a big fight about emergency contact info when we moved in together. He still had her listed as an emergency contact EVERYWHERE. I explained to him that I was going to be rather upset if he was in an accident and I had to hear it from her. he changed things eventually and had me as his priamry emergency contact. But he kept her on there as an additional contact "because she's the mother of my children and what happens if we are in an accident together? She will need to be contacted." I left it alone. What can I do?
She is also a beneficiary on his life insurance but that's in the CO. She drops off in 4 years when alimony ends. Since we're not married, he didn't see what the big deal was that I was hurt I wasn't covered. Um, we live together as domestic partners and I will be screwed if something happens to him and vice versa yet his ex wife will get a windfall. So we both took a small amount of coverage out on each other so that we can pay for funeral expenses and stay in our home for a year if something were to happen. But it was like pulling teeth to get that far.
Oh, and he's still the owner of her car. Never switched the title after divorce. We actually get mail to register it. The first year I voiced my displeasure but he still actually renewed the registrastion for her. This year I told him to take that document and hand it to her as my household will NOT be paying for her car. Come to think of it, she was supposed to sell that car as she has a new one. I am going to email him and make sure it's either sold or that he tells her she needs to change the title immediately. I've had it with this crap.