Thinking of divorce
I am not in the financial or emotional situation where I'd be okay with divorcing my husband. I don't have enough funds to support myself and the baby and have a normal life. Even when I count in the child support I'd be getting from my husband if we divorced, it's not enough. I couldn't cover up even the basics. There are not many women's help organisations where I live, and the ones that we have are not really..dedicated or helpful. And I probably wouldn't even qualify to get their help because I'd be leaving a marriage that tehnically has no reason to be left. My husband does not abuse me, control me, anything. He just hurts my feelings, ignores the fact we're having a baby very soon, and puts his daughters on a pedastal. And it's not the life I want for myself or my baby.
I love him, I love him so much. But he doesn't seem to love me back. He only loves his daughters. They come above everything, their wishes come above my needs. But he's always there to serve them and their wish is his command.
I wish I had seen this earlier. But I was blind, I was in love. I still am, but somehow I'm starting to see all the things I haven't seen before. Their place in the family is set, and there's nothing that could change it, especially not me. SDs hate me so the whole family does. SDs don't care about our baby so neither does the family. SDs command everything and everyone and that's because they're such great manipulators. They're not the sweet angles that they pretend to be,but since I'm the only one who won't do everything they want me to, I'm the only one who sees their other face.
I'm thinking of divorcing my husband, even though it's a painful thought and not a realistic possibility. Even if it was, I'm not sure it's what I really want. 
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I didn't sit him down and
I didn't sit him down and tell him everything at once,but I've been talking about the things that bother me, however if he thinks something is right, he does it.
He said, unrelated to this, that he wouldn't go for counseling because it's for "wusses". Though this isn't entirely his fault, it's how our whole(almost) society sees it. (in our country.)
So sad for you. My first baby
So sad for you. My first baby was ignored by my exh family- yet they idolised their existing granddaughter. She is/was a sweet girl and I never had a problem with her but the parents made me sick. They have never accepted my daughters to this day. Just switch off- it still sucks but it's their problem not yours.
These girls aren't sweet, and
These girls aren't sweet, and neither are the grandparents/aunts/whole family..
I'm afraid they won't accept my daughter either!
It sucks,but it's also my girl's problem.. She's gonna be aware of the situation in like.. 6 years, and then it'll probably hurt her.
That's why I hate this crap.
I relate to so much of what
I relate to so much of what you are saying minus the coming baby. Other than that, I am pretty much in the same boat and I just wanted to say that I am sorry and that I sympathize with you.
Yes, me three. I was reading
Yes, me three.
I was reading that and thinking "apart from the baby" and "instead of sd's it's one of each, but same story"
I literally just checked out bank acct to see if there was enough for me to go to a motel for a few days (no)
Have texted dd20 to see if she is working or if she can watch dd's 10 and 7 and I will take a few days out and sleep in my car.
I just can't take anymore.
I'm sorry for both of you I
I'm sorry for both of you
I wish we were in better situations, how could we deserve this crap.
I can't go anywhere but even if I could.. I feel like I can't live without him.
What can you do to upgrade
What can you do to upgrade your earning potential? Upgrade your skills while your DH supports you financially.
Forget about getting any emotional support from him but use this time to help yourself be better prepared to take care of yourself and your child.
I graduated college years
I graduated college years ago, but even if I didn't, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't support it financially.
I'm prepared - it's just that the situation in my country does not allow me to get a job. It's hard for everyone and they're firing people all the time, not even thinking of hiring. It would be VERY hard to get a job, especially at my age. Now it's usually the young people who get hired,and it's usually through connections of their influential relatives. Most companies don't care how good are you, but how important your dad/grandfather/uncle/whatever is.
Sad reality of Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia,and a few other countries!
I am sorry you are going
I am sorry you are going through this. I have to say that while it is never easy, the sooner you realize this won't change the better for you. These men who do such things will NEVER truly change. They really will not. If you threaten them or yell, they might get it for a while, but eventually, it really all goes back to normal. While part of this is related to the ex, skids, etc...I have to say that really they are just self-centered as$holes who think only of themselves. Whatever makes THEM happy, is what they will do. Today the issue is it makes him happy to kiss his kid's ass so that everyone in his family applauds him, tomorrow, even if he stops talking to his kids entirely, it will be something else. A man that does not put his wife first from day one, I have to say will NEVER really put her first. We might get used to them putting the kids first and once they no longer do, we THINK they are putting us first, but in reality, they are not. They are only just tired of dealing with someone whom they thought would put them first and will just find someone else, including themselves, to put above us.
Believe me I have seen this over and over again in my marriage. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I saw the signs years ago. I wanted to believe so much that it was all because of the crazy ex, in-laws and skid, but in reality, it wasn't. He is just a self-centered narcsisistic ahole and will always will be. Most of these men will never see what they are doing as wrong. Most people around you will think he is a wonderful man and father and you are just crazy, but I am here to tell you, they are emotionally abusive and will continue the abuse in other ways.
A big hug to you, as I can't imagine being in that situation. I have a good paying job, but no family around...I could easily make it without this ahole and it is still difficult because of my son, so I do understand how extra hard this is for you.
By the way, I have said it here before and will continue to say it...This is not a scam. For any of you who need extra income, sign up as an Amazon Associate, go to eHow or Squidoo (I use Squidoo) and write some articles, go to Zazzle and design some stuff and make a little extra cash. It is not easy and it is time consuming, but it is good way to make extra income when you have to be at home because of kids or can't find another job.
Big hugs...
He thinks that the kids come
He thinks that the kids come first. He strongly believes in that. I don't even demand or expect to be put first, just not to be treated this way.
Yep - that's exactly what everyone thinks. I thought that too. But he's not that wonderful actually.
I'll look into the sites you suggested. It seems like a great idea, thanks!
Hugs.
is this him or a hard part in
is this him or a hard part in your marriage? maybe things will get better? things in stepfamilies are always changing, for better or for worse. Sounds like for now anyway, you're stuck in this situation Maybe there is a way to make the best of it... to better yourself, to enjoy your baby, etc.
Sorry to hear that you feel so alone and unhappy right now.