last to know - does it ever change?
Let me preface this by saying that FDH has come MILES as a parent and as a partner from where he was almost 2 years ago when I moved in. In general, if I point out an issue to him, he is receptive and makes an effort to change.
Except, when there are changes in the custody schedule I am always the last to know.
Tonight he informed me that skid1, who has been living with BM, will be spending the night tomorrow because of her work schedule. Fine and dandy, except 1) he apparently knew about this days ago 2) skid1 is a difficult child whose presence will dictate his entire night 3) I will be the on e to have to get him up and out the door to school Thursday.
Why the fuck does he never think I need to know this stuff? Skid2 lives full time with us and is easy enough to handle in the morning (he's a great kid) but skid1 is another story entirely. He is the definition of troubled, and the thought of him ruining my morning by dealing with his mouth already has me on edge.
The kicker is, I ripped FDH a new one last week for this same shit. I live here, I pay half the bills, and I don't deserve to be left in the dark.
Does this shit ever change?
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I would have told DH in the
I would have told DH in the absolutely sweetest voice possible... I'm so sorry darlin'... if you had told me earlier i might have been able to help, but i made plans to meet my mom & well you know how she is about breaking plans last minute... Looks like you'll need to go to work late. Sorry
I have had the EXACT problem
I have had the EXACT problem with my FDH forever now. He sounds just like the Skids ... "I forgot" is always his lame excuse. I am not supposed to get mad because he claims to be forgetful about everything.
It is still infuriating to me though. I explain to him that if ours was an intact family, I wouldn't have to deal with these little "surprises" lazy ass BM likes to drop on us all of the time. My favorite reminder to him is the fact that I never chose to procreate with the bitch, so my life should NEVER be inconvenienced by her.
Oh yeah, absolutely - it is
Oh yeah, absolutely - it is easier to make the plans and "remember" to tell us at the last minute with the lame "I forgot" crap than to deal with actually having the discussion up front and risk us saying "no, not convenient"
Because sometimes it's just NOT ok for him to lump the skids on me at a moments notice, the take planning and mental and emotional preparation for me. I can't even just serve them a normal freaking meal, so NO - you cannot just dump them here last minute and expect me to be ok with that.
Sometimes MY dd's (you know - the kids who actually LIVE here, do their chores, show you respect and all that other meaningless sh*t) have plans - have friends sleeping over, or are going somewhere, sometimes we might just want to go out for tea JUST US - not your picky, mannerless rude little brats, sometimes I just want to sit quietly and read a book and NOT deal with your screaming banshees tearing my house apart, or taking over MY living room and TV.
SD actually has the cheek to turn off the radio that I am listening to and turn on the TV in our main living room - when there is a perfectly good kids TV room upstairs... pisses me off NO end...
hmmmm - I feel much better now.
Sorry about that LOL
please tell me you give her
please tell me you give her an earful and turn off the tv and the radio goes back on when she does that? no way in hell that would be happening with me. pisses me off just to hear you tell it!
I think what bothers me the
I think what bothers me the most is that if the subject of skid1 hadn't come up in casual conversation, he NEVER would have mentioned it to me at all. I would've found out when I got home from work today and found the he-devil there. And I am PMSing right now, so I might've been a total bitch about it. I still might be }:)
and no ambien for me, lol! I've read too many horror stories about the ambien walrus to go down that road. A lot of exercise and a glass or two of wine usually works for me!
This pisses me off with DH
This pisses me off with DH too. I get being disengaged, but there are things I need to know like who is home for dinner, if SD is going to her grandparents for the weekend if so when is she leaving and when is she coming back.
Now I just make plans, when he says hey SD is going to my Mom's lets do something tonight I tell him sorry Im booked
"Oh, I wish you would have
"Oh, I wish you would have asked me first, because I have other plans already. You'll either have to cancel, or rearrange your schedule. Maybe next time ask me first and save yourself some trouble."