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FDH Weighs in on Why Men are Better with their New SO than Ex Wife (Not for the easily offended)

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:25pm

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted in a while and don't have time to give a major update on the craziness that has descended upon us since FDH laid down some boundaries with BM. But I thought I'd take a moment today to share something pretty funny.

The other night we were talking about BM and her behavior. I told him I'd read an article (someone linked it here) about why BMs hate SMs.
Me: It's not uncommon for ex wives to resent the new woman because the man is being a better man in the relationship with the new lady-- more than he could ever be when he was with her.
FDH: It's simple. Blow jobs.

I died.

Comments

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:39pm

Always!

But on a serious note, he always felt like she wouldn't do the one thing he was asking so why should he do the many things she wanted him to do. Makes sense to me.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:45pm

LMFAO yep - very true!

ETA: DH says he gets more now in 1 month than he did in 13 yrs of marriage to BM.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:50pm

My DH just told me he can count maybe one a year for 13 yrs. He got more than that during our first couple of months and averages 4 a week now Smile Then again, I LIKE doing that for him. She never did, obviously!

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:18pm

Four a week?! Man, you're dedicated. Hope my DH never comes on here and sees that!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:20pm

Yeah, I spoil him pretty much every hockey game too. During intermission, I'll just whip his pants off. I've gotten so good where it doesn't take me very long to finish him Wink

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:43pm

My DH is the first to brag about how spoiled he is. He tells everyone we know how lucky he is to have me. And once I drop this last 35lbs and get my 40 yr old ass into a bikini - he'll be even prouder of me!

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:59pm

Bah......he's already bragging about you so he obviously sees you're Sexy McHottie!

stressed-mom's picture

Submitted by stressed-mom on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 12:41pm

My DH probably averages 4 a week. But that's only because I wake up in the middle of the night with him slapping it on my forehead and doing it is the only way to make him stop.

Yup. And that's why I love him... ::sigh:: Biggrin

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:47pm

FDH's ex wife makes it easy- apparently she never gave him none....some how SD15 was an accident that FDH denied was even his at first.... :sick: makes me sick to even think about it

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 3:58pm

Too funny. Bet my DH would agree.

Too bad he doesn't realize it goes both ways...he'd get more if he gave once in a while. It would also happen more often if he came to bed at a reasonable hour.

The other night he came to bed and asked for one. He hadn't showered that day, so he made sure to say to me as soon as he asked, "I just washed up, so it's ok." I couldn't help but laugh.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 10:00am

I had to make sure my DH knew that if he was going to wash up ahead of time (and that was appreciated) that he needed to spend enough time RINSING as well!!

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:38pm

Our BM is Orifice Depot. She's like a one stop big box shop. Wherever there's a grand opening, everyone's welcome in em.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:45pm

Our husbands will thank you tonight.

Maybe we should all commence at 9:40pm tonight. And we'll all log back in here. I should be back by 9:41pm.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:56pm

LOL. I'll be back at 10:40. He was so deprived for so long that he can't get the job done easily that way. Ow my neck.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:46pm

DH will get his during first intermission. I'm a bit sore from my new walking routine so likely that's all he will get is just one, but he'll be happy with that while I soak in the tub after the Red Wings game tonight!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 9:19pm

DONE Smile

Kilgore SMom's picture

Submitted by Kilgore SMom on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:53pm

Theres not much that doesn't get talked about on here. I notice none of our guy stepfather weighed in. LOL! I would say Dh would say the same thing.

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 4:55pm

Well BM1 is a disgusting slut who will blow any guy who smiles at her sideways so I'm sure he got a lot of blow jobs from her. But he loves me because I am willing to wake him up in the midle of the night with one. I will jump in the shower with him and get on my knees. And when basketball is at half time he knows what time it is lol. Plus he loves to look into my eyes and rub my face. TMI I know lol but this whole blog is tmi. Lol

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 5:05pm

Wow. why must our DHs waste time on slutty women. DH tells me all the time I am the best and you can tell my the gasp and look of love in his eyes everytime I get on my knees. So I guees all of BMs practice didnt pay off.

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 5:28pm

Lol. I have bad gag reflexes but as long as I suck long and slow he is good. He likes me to "make love to it with my mouth". The BMs cant do it like me lol.

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 5:36pm

I agree with everything but the cable guy. Um if you seen the last guy that came to fix my cable you would be sweating. Lol

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 6:15pm

Chokinonmelons everytime I read one of your comments i piss a little lmao thanks alot lol.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 5:36pm

HAHA! I've heard of that day but shhhhh. I don't want DH to know that. Heard someone refer to it as a holy day also flank & yank.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 10:54pm

"corn on the cob" - I've never heard it called that. Weiner, sausage, etc. but never corn on the cob.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 12:08am

Yep, that is what I was going to post. Only middle of the afternoon here, but an all around crap day, so this thread has had me LMAO - thanks again, you ladies are the best)

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 9:21am

My DH is one lucky dude. He gets the "triple crown" at least once a month. That's a blowjob, then sex, then anal in that order. He said he's the luckiest guy on the planet! LOL

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 10:53am

Hat trick is an AWESOME term for it! I can't believe I didn't think of it. It's a HOCKEY term after all. 3 goals in one game!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:01am

I just told DH we're renaming the triple crown to the hat trick. He says "I don't care what you call it, just keep doing it!"

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:30am

Seriously, Wish - if you're to the point of cheating, just go. Leave the relationship. No way you're happy. Life's too short not to be!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:35am

Wish - have you guys sat down and really TALKED about your relationship and the issues you're having?

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:37am

^^^I agree with LadyFace.

Sex isn't everything but if you're not satisfied then it's a big problem!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 9:51am

Sorry LadyFace - I know I'm not the "normal" wife, but I enjoy doing that! Smile

Sometimes, I make it a goal to do it every single night for a week. He never knows about it, I just attack him when he comes home and rip his pants off. Now that we live on the ground floor though, it's harder to be spontaneous because if he sees the blinds closed, he knows I'm up to something.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 10:04am

Got ya LadyFace - I'd be in the same boat that you're in then. DH is average size (about 6.5-7") and I can usually get him to finish in under 20, so I have it made I guess!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:12am

Bummer Wish - that sucks. I can honestly say that DH and I have the BEST sex life I've ever had and I buy him toys, he gets me some, we have experimented with a lot of unusual stuff - but you know, just being us at home is just phenomenal. We're a match made in heaven.

I'm sorry to hear of you and SO. DH and I don't work more than 40 hours and don't have any kids at home (until DD15 gets here for summer) so we pretty much have it made.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 12:02pm

WishI! Stop! We all go through that. I have to bathe dip myself in chocolate sometimes before DH will touch me after work. Sometimes I get so wound up in his skid's BS I have to wrap bacon around his manhood & skip lunch in order to attempt it.

So don't go down that route Debbie Downer. I have court in a couple hours with the biggest sexual abstinent known to man....BM!!!!

Now get up, brush off your knees think of america. Then back on your knees & try again later...this time with a smile & an appetite Wink

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 12:46pm

Skid-Free vibrators are on the market now. The automatically turn off when they sense a knock on the door. Keep your spirits up. Off to court wearing my "Don't F with Me" high heels especially for BM today.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 10:59am

You women are a disgrace! You're doing it all wrong. You're suppose to do the lollipopping only once every 2.75 weeks. So you're done in 3 minutes flat each time.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 10:57am

Ladyface, I don't even know where Red gets her stamina. I think she practices her jaw agility on palmelos. I'm also beginning to think her DH doesn't even watch the games with her, he just crochets until his halftime treat.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:03am

HA! Shook you're so wrong! LOL

DH is so into hockey now he reminds ME when games are on, whether he gets intermission treats or not.

LOL

And since I've pretty much trained him that if he doesn't finish before intermission is over (20 minutes, 2x a game), he just doesn't get to finish. So now, I know - he'll be done in 20 or less.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:08am

Holy hell 20 minutes??!!! WTH. No no. Not even when I was trying to win Prom Queen.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 11:13am

I don't even know where I got this! You'd figure being older (I'll be 41 in Sept), I'd lose stamina but nope! Then again, dropping 115lbs and only gaining back 35 of it, which I am working hard now to lose, helps a LOT!

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Fri, 05/24/2013 - 12:59pm

What a fantastic thread! I laughed so hard. '20 minutes? Not even when I was trying to win Prom Queen.'

Triple Crown! Hat Trick, The Turkey. Certainly some quotable quotables in here.

We don't do anal at all. Just neither have an interest.

I go down on him each time we have sex which is typically 4x-5x a week. But the first year that we were together was easy 7+ times a week.

The real magic is what he does for me. He found the Gspot last year and ever since then, WHOA! Last night, I had to change the sheets and my nightie afterwards. It looked like I was hit with a water hose. That's TMI but it's true!

I can't keep my hands off of him but we're not married or even engaged yet. So that might be part of it.