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His will... his stupid stupid will

wreck's picture

I posted the question about my husband's will yesterday, but unforunately he has a totally different idea about it than you guys and I.
He's got quite a lot - I won't go into how much, I don't feel comfortable. But let's just say a lot.
I saw the will. He let me read it. After his passing, his 3 daughters, my steps will be left rich. My baby will have enough to live on untill adulthood, I get something but it's not comparable to anything he's leaving to the children.
And honestly, I don't even mind that he isn't leaving me much. That isn't what bothers me or something I'd ask for.
What bothers me is that he's giving SDs more than he's giving our baby. His explanation for that is that those things were accquired by his father who wanted it to be left to the SDs. MIL and SIL say the same thing. However, when his father died, my husband wasn't with me, he didn't know that he will have more kids so of course he said that the money go to the grandchildren that he has. He didn't put it in a will, he simply told DH to give it to his grandchildren. He didn't even know that this baby will be born.
I feel that this is unfair but I can't change it. It sucks.
And in our country, the law is that what's in the will is what will be done. It doesn't matter if a minor child is left behind, what he puts in the will is final. So even if he didn't leave her ANYTHING, it'd still pass in the court. He did leave her inheritance, but it's not comparable to what will he be leaving to SDs.
And plus, their mother is rich too, married to a even richer man, and they're getting her inheritance PLUS his. Yes, the stepfather will be leaving them inheritance as well.
I just feel that this is not fair and it hurts me how he so openly prefers SDs over our baby.

Comments

wreck's picture

I'm not. Yeah, she'd get social security, but social security money is sometimes recieved, sometimes not, it's usually stolen by the ones handling the money. Here most people don't even get their paycheck they earn regularly, let alone social security.
A wife would get a part of the inhertiance, not sure how much, if there was no will. But if there's a will, it trumps everything else.

I'm not assuming, he has a will by which he leaves them quite a lot, plus he already is buying a very expensive car for SD18, and he's going to contribute in buying her an apartment.

wreck's picture

I'm not, I said that I'm not in the US or from there.
Social security wouldn't be paid because the money gets taken by the ones handling it. It's been like this for 20 years.

Yes, knowing.
I'm not saying it's taking from my kids, I'm saying my husband knows how much SDs will have and how little our child will and he still sticks to his decision.
Even if their stepfather doesn't leave them anything,their mother will and then again they have a lot of money and things. Our baby only has what he leaves her and he's leaving her so little compared to what he has and what he's leaving to his other 3 children.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

That is terrible. I would be hurt too. You should make out a will and put everything to your DD and nothing to DH or SD's.

wreck's picture

I haven't got much to put in a will, a bit of money. I will be making one but simply to avoid court processes for my child, not because there's actually something to leave.
I wouldn't leave it to SDs definitely.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Well, I would gradually put back some extra money in an account for DD.

Make her an account or trust and thru the years keep adding to it.

wreck's picture

She has an account and some money in it.
But I don't work currently, I'm looking for a job. When I find one, of course I'll put money in her account.
But now DH gives me money and I have to spend it on the baby's stuff she needs now and things for me.

wreck's picture

I'm not sure what taking out life insurance means. We don't have this term and I'm not sure what it is.
If you mean that I get a life insurance, and make my baby the beneficiary of it, that's done. I have a life insurance, and though the beneficiary,my child, won't get much of it since I can't pay a lot into it - it's still on her. I invest.
When I get a job I'll invest even more.
My child will not only get more from me, she'll get everything and I'm not giving skids anything. I have no reason to.
However they will get more from their father, and more in general.

wreck's picture

He has insurance in case something happens to him. He gives money to the insurance company and then if something happened to him, the beneficiares would be paid out more than he gave to the company.
There's something about natural death in there I think but not sure, didn't study it well.
The thing is I can't tell him what kind of insurance to get, he wouldn't listen. He has the insurance he wanted and he doesn't want my input on that... So as much as I would LOVE to take your advice and accept the suggestion, it's not up to me but him.

Willow2010's picture

This...have DH get life insurance on him that will ONLY benefit your baby. And it needs to be comparable to what the skids are getting.

I do see is point if his father said the inheritance should go to the skids. Maybe you could try and spend most of the money before his kicks the bucket. lol

Willow2010's picture

That is your opinion. I think it NEEDS to be comparable to what skids will get.
If the man is that rich, then he can afford a great policy. So that the second family does not get second best compared to skids.

That way it does not look like he prefers his first family to the second.

wreck's picture

He wouldn't get that kind of insurance, if he wanted it he'd have it already.. He doesn't ask for my input on that. He has a life insurance but I think it's divided similarly to this will. More to SDs than BD.
I can't have him get it... He doesn't listen to me. If he did he wouldn't be leaving SDs so much and our child much less.

wreck's picture

We wouldn't be in actual poverty but we'd still be struggling. We'd have enough to live, but not live good or near good, barely decent. While the SDs would be RICH. I'd probably have to get two jobs - one stable and plus something on the side. It would be hard to take care of a child because the paychecks are getting smaller and the prices are going up.

wreck's picture

Not ME. My daughter.
The problem is that I KNOW he's leaving SDs A LOT and my daughter just enough. I don't want it for myself. I want it for my child.
Wow this is just..
BD is his daughter as much as SDs are.
But each of SDs is left about double that BD is getting. Maybe even more. If thinking this is not fair makes me entitled then fuck it I'm entitled.
But wtf.

wreck's picture

He doesn't feel obliged. It's his excuse for everything.
When he feels like, he ignores the wishes of the dead and alive relatives. He only respects their wishes when it's suitable for him

Willow2010's picture

He has a life insurance but I think it's divided similarly to this will. More to SDs than BD.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Holy Shit!!! That might be a deal breaker for me. Did you discuss any of this before getting pregnant with him?

wreck's picture

No. We didn't plan the pregnancy.

There are many deal breakers in this relationship for me but I'm not in the situation to just leave.

wreck's picture

So now the baby shouldn't get what the other kids do just because she wasn't planned?

She's here now, he should take care of her, she's his kid.

wreck's picture

I can understand you don't agree with me or even understand me, which is fine. But please don't keep pushing your opinion at me because it's fine that you question my opinion and that you're negative about this - but there should be a boundary. And if you see that our opinions clash maybe you and I shouldn't be discussing this topic to avoid unneccessary conflict. Smile

Willow2010's picture

OMG...how does he justify splitting his life insurance the way he did? I understand the stuff he inherited, but why would he give more of the life insurance to the skids???!!!

wreck's picture

He doesn't justify at all. He tells me "I take care of my money, you take care of yours, and that's it."

wreck's picture

Exactly. I want him to take care of her like he does of his other children.

I can't spend his money like he does, I can't take it as I please. I would if I could.. And I would just send it to my DD's bank account but I can't.

wreck's picture

How can I demand that?
He never listens to me, he doesn't cave in to what I demand. No use in demanding.

I know my child is getting the short end of the stick, not just feel.

wreck's picture

I made an insurance for me and my baby is the only beneficiary.. Though it won't be much.

He is.. I wish I saw it earlier.

DarkStar's picture

Just ignore HRNYC, she's a negative nellie toward everyone.
It seems like DH's favoring the kids from the first marriage over kids from the 2nd marriage is a common theme here. I think it's crappy and unfair. Rather than beat your head against the wall trying to convince your DH otherwise you should plan accordingly and save money and make arrangements of your own to ensure the financial well-being of your kid.
Don't get me wrong, I think he's an ass for this, but lately I'm all about taking the path of least resistance

Shook's picture

Ok here's a first. I actually agree with HRNYC on this one.

Within a month, OP wanted to leave her horrible sucky husband. But can't because she feels she can't make it without his financial support. Another 2 weeks go by & she's questioning HIS will? You know just how many bio kids around the globe get screwed by daddy marrying a younger woman & all their inheritance goes to the new wife while the bio kids have to sue for their share?

But come on. If you're planning to leave your DH at some point when you get enough money saved up, tell me please how is he being so unfair to OP? Maybe he feels you're not in it for the long haul too? Could that be a possibility?

wreck's picture

My baby is going to be in it for the long haul because she is HIS CHILD!
I don't care that I don't get much, I care that she doesn't!
She is his kid as much as the SDs are but she gets so much less, and this is not just about the money it's also that he so openly favors them!

I don't want his money for ME but for MY CHILD.

wreck's picture

Thank you.

I don't want his money for me, just for my baby.
I want him around, but I also want him to change his behaviour. And if he doesn't than I don't really have an option but to leave..

wreck's picture

I know the rights - if there is a will, it will be as it says in the will.
If there is no will, then the court divides the inheritance.
If a child was left out in the will, it can be argued that they were forgotten and it goes to court, but if anything is left then that can'tbe done.
However I will talk to a lawyer to see if there's something I'm missing here.

misSTEP's picture

While I don't normally advise bodily harm.........has the new will been signed yet?? }:)

You and everyone else knows this guy is a total piece of shit who should never have been allowed to father your baby. I hope you can get the hell out sooner rather than later.