DH refuses to quit paying child support to BM even though we have SD5 full time
My family consists of my husband, me, my DD6 from a previous relationship, his DD5 from a previous relationship, and our DS8mo.
Recently, SD5's grandma died which is who really took care of her all the time, taking her to daycare, buying her clothes, taking her on outings. This was BM's mom. So now, instead of having her every weekend from Thurs-Mon we have her all week long and she goes to her BM on the weekends.
There is no legal custody agreement, BM has full custody by default and there is a child support order in place. They have always just worked out pick ups and visitation on their own.
Now, DH is still paying child support out of every paycheck to BM even though WE have SD5 ALL THE TIME. Does that not immediately seem wrong to everyone?!
He says that when school starts in the fall that BM is going to take her back full time because she will be able to put her into Kindergarten. I do not believe that she is going to do that since she would have to pay to put her into full day. The reason she is acting like she has plans to take her back is so that DH wont try to get legal full custody / drop the child support because then they will just have to change it all back after the summer is over.
DH thinks that if he petitions to get the child support dropped that he will end up paying more because he makes a little more money now than when they first set it up. Is he right? Even if BM did actually have her full time, DH has a wife, step daughter, and son to support now that he didn't have before, and BM has a job now and her own income.
It drives me absolutely insane that he just lets her have $450 every month because he doesn't have the balls to tell her to write to the Division of Child support and ask them to drop her case. We barely make it paycheck to paycheck and that money could be the difference between us constantly being stressed out and being okay.
Is he right by not challenging her?!
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Comments
Wait and see what happens
Wait and see what happens when school starts. Then at that time, petition the court for a new custody arrangement. It should be granted based on the history (and assuming BM doesn't follow through, then there's even more reason why SD should continue to be in your care).
Follow through with getting her enrolled in your home as if you are planning it right now, that way when BM drops the ball, SD is all set.
Document everything.
Child support adjustment will follow.
No, he's a ball less idiot.
No, he's a ball less idiot. Not sure what state you're in, but usuaully a raise in the parent paying CS will lead to a by minor increase in CS if nothing else has changed. The fact that BM has a job now should cause his CS to go Down, even without a change in custody. And he's a moron for not getting legal custody if you guys have her all the time.
I will say that him adding a spouse, a child and a stepchild to his obligations will not change CS one dime in most cases - his income and BM's income will be what it's based on, as well as the number of overnights each parent has depending on the state you're in.
Mine too! Hence the name
Mine too! Hence the name "MarriedaBallessWonder"
I guess if my ex had kids and
I guess if my ex had kids and wanted his child support lowered because of it I would be upset, there is no reason his first child should suffer because he cannot wear a condom.
But from my side, it is so ridiculous to have to pay 25% of our income to his ex when we have our own life/ kids to think of AND now we have SD full time it it 10x more ridiculous to keep paying.
MIL is on his side, before all this happened she would say "just pay her off. I will keep paying child support if she just lets us have her full time" Well excuse me but YOU are NOT the one paying and YOU are NOT the one who has to take on the responsibility of caring for this child 24/7, I am!
Another man who is still way
Another man who is still way too intertwined with his ex.
Can you do that!?! I
Can you do that!?! I definitely would if it allowed us to keep our income in our own house.
The courts shouldn't make people jump through ridiculous hoops like that. Oh so in order to support my son, I am going to have to get a divorce and get child support? Wth
New kids and family won't
New kids and family won't count but documenting the amount of time you have Sd and who transports her to and from etc does count. DOCUmENT eVERYTHInG!!!
I have a long log of every
I have a long log of every time we have picked her up and dropped her off, but I have been slacking the past couple of months. Hopefully I can go back through text messages and remember these past few weeks. Does the documentation matter if she is still picking her up? I mean she sees her but it is always like "oh I have food poisoning, can I get her tomorrow instead?" do I need a hard copy of those texts or can I just write down what she said?
I've posted about a 100 times
I've posted about a 100 times how BM did not tell DH when their older son died. Held the funeral before he even knew.
But if he had sent her one dime for funeral expenses he would LITERALLY have been a ball-less wonder. He would have had all of his boy part removed.
We live in Washington and he
We live in Washington and he says it is a "mom state" and that if he fights for custody that he will end up with every other weekend instead of the every weekend arrangement they had.
He also thinks that if he tries to get the child support stopped or lowered that BM will take SD back full time just so that she doesnt lose out on her monthly check. Then she will just ask us to take her all the time anyway or leave her with random friends or try to get it court ordered that DH pay for child care.
We should not have to pay for child care when she could stay here with me for free.
Paying CS for a kid he has
Paying CS for a kid he has full time is crazy. Just as crazy as expeecting his decision to support his stepchild to have any impact on the support he'd have to pay if BM had the kid full time.