Warning: this is kinda long, so I thank anyone who muddles to the end of it.

I think FDH is FINALLY, FINALLY starting to see the light regarding skid1. I mean, he's known for a while that the kid is more of a handful than most. He's violent and destructive when angry (which happens often, though less so recently) and claims he can't control himself. He managed to get himself expelled from school and practically arrested a few months ago. When FDH tried to confiscate skid1's phone after that incident, skid1 punched him in the face, which led to skid1 making false accusations about his dad to the school counselor. The list goes on, believe me. He does have a nice side though, so it complicates things. He can be funny and smart and even really sweet and insightful sometimes. He's a complicated kid lol.

Since the last big incident a few months ago, skid1 has been receiving fairly intensive counseling, and is in a strict, court ordered school program during the school year for difficult kids. He's been staying with BM for the most part on the advice of CPS even though FDH has primary (fine by me!) but now the summer visitation of alternating weeks has resumed. That in and of itself is a fucking mess, since BM, and I suppose FDH too for trusting her to actually do something, dropped the ball big time on getting the skids into summer camp. So, now we're screwed for childcare on our weeks - even though skid1 is 12.5, and has improved tremendously lately, he still has the maturity of a toddler and proved it last night.

He has been diagnosed with ADHD, and is on medication now, which helps a lot, but clearly not 100%. It's just not good for anyone if I spend too much time around skid1 these days - I have some resentment towards him for how he treats his dad, who is an absolutely great man who really loves his kids. I kind of feel like skid1 is an abuser, and I love FDH that it gives me anxiety seeing the kid.

One of skid1's complaints is that he never gets time with FDH, and has mentioned that FDH only cares about me. This is such BS and it drives me up a wall to see skid1 try to manipulate FDH. I've had plenty of conversations about this with FDH, but decided a few weeks ago to just back out and let him see it for himself. Me trying to open that man's eyes was causing nothing but friction and tension in all of our lives. I also decided that when skid1 was here, we would not try to have "family time." I don't share their same interests and it's not fun for me to do the things they like to do together (especially when skid1 is being a shithead), so I don't need to be a part of it, because I end up getting bitchy about it. They need time alone as a unit, and I need time to myself. I seriously don't handle life well if I don't get some me time now and then. I've mostly disengaged from the kid. If he's being pleasant, I'll have a conversation with him, much like I would if a neighbor were sitting in my living room. If he's a jerk, I leave the room. Works for me. So they spent most of the weekend - at least 4 hours each day Friday, Saturday, Sunday - out of the house doing boy things. Sunday also included a trip to an arcade/ go kart place - which cost a pretty penny but they all enjoyed - and a small birthday party for skid2. hey also went out for a few hours yesterday. The only thing I was around for was the party.

Last night, around 7pm, we were getting ready for our first day back at work after being off for a week, so we just wanted to chill and watch some TV.

This was NOT ok with skid1. He basically flipped out because he was bored and had nothing to do. WTF ever kid. I made myself scarce with skid2, but apparently once again he was trying to kick a hole in the wall and was generally being destructive in his room. His main complaints: his room doesn't feel like "his space;" his 36 inch TV doesn't have good enough graphics; he has no friends; he wants his own gaming system in there; he has no say in anything; FDH and I spent a bit of money on skid2 for his birthday/end of school reward and HE didn't get anything.

FDH handled it pretty well, I think. He explained to skid1 that he has no friends because he's mean to people and thinks he's better than everyone, and that he has no say in a lot of things - including how money is spent around here - because he's a CHILD. He explained that skid2 had a great year - straight As, no absences, didn't get in trouble once - and that we were just doing what we told BOTH of them we'd do for them if they pulled it together academically this year. They talked/argued for a while, skid1 calmed down, and FDH basically told him that if he has another outburst like that, the police WILL be called and he can spend time in juvie. He also told BM that he would do it. He's sick and tired of this house being torn to pieces by that kid, and he cannot restrain skid1 physically when he gets violent because of the last incident, so he really has no option. I had no idea the outburst last night had gotten physical because I was in my zen place but if I had, I would have called. FDH knows this. I've told him before that it is really shitty of him to expect skid2 to grow up like this, because he deserves a chance to be normal. He's a great kid, really.

I think FDH is starting to realize that even though skid1 has improved greatly, he still has a LOOOOOONG way to go. I hope he has the balls to call the cops next time - because there WILL be a next time - to really teach this snot a lesson. I think he will - I saw the light in his eyes last night.

On a positive note, although I was tempted to go buy some whiskey when all this shit started, I resisted and found my zen cleaning out a cabinet that's been bugging me for it's shit-collection ability. Very proud about that, because I did think about it for a minute.