2nd week in school and already in trouble?!
OMG. I am feeling truly at my wits end with this child. Second week of school and the teacher has already emailed me stating that he isn't behaving in class hardly at all. He isn't turning in his assignments. FDH was VERY upset with this and gave him a lot of chores to do Wednesday night and threatened all kinds of miserable consequences (basically zero freedom and lots of work) if the behavior didn't change dramatically.
This afternoon as I picked up SS11 from school, I decided to catch his teacher and ask her if she had noticed ANY improvements on his behavior or participation and she said no. There wasn't even a "maybe a little". Nope. Nothing. Says he simply cannot stay on task and needs constant attention. Soon they will introduce a teacher's assistant to sit with him and keep him on task. HOW EMBARRASSING. I was SO mad.
She gave the kids additional study time at the end of the day to finish any worksheets that they hadn't completed through the day and SS11 chose to read a book and play games with a boy sitting across from him instead of pulling out the math worksheet that she actually told him to do during that time more than once.
I have no clue what to do at this point. This child cannot be physically corrected as he was taken out of his mother's custody for abuse. We now have full custody and fought to remove him from an extreme ADHD medication that was stunting his growth, making him a zombie and ruining his social life. Now I'm having second thoughts. I KNOW he's a smart kid. I KNOW he can focus because he does it at home when I make him sit at the desk and do his homework.
Right now, since FDH is working OT and won't be home till almost midnight, I'm making SS11 sit in his room to think about his attitude towards everything and the fact that he blatantly lied to my face yesterday and today saying he was doing MUCH better. SMH.
What the hell is going to change this BS? I'm so discouraged.
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He's seeing a psychologist,
He's seeing a psychologist, but not enough. I guess we'll have to look into getting on another drug but I just HATE having to resort to a pill to make a kid behave and do what they are told. He is restricted on sodas and such - Guess I could also look into the whole color in foods thing again. Sigh.
I understand that, but let me
I understand that, but let me tell you - meds have made a WORLD of difference with my skid1. He was uncontrollable last year - gave his dad a black eye twice, got expelled from school, etc. FDH was always reluctant to put him on meds but now - OMG! A different kid. A kid I actually like to be around. And he's definitely not a zombie or stunted in growth (he's grown almost 6 inches and 3 shoe sizes - in the 6 months he's been on the meds. Maybe look into a different doctor....
My mom always told us that if
My mom always told us that if we behaved like that in school, she would go to school with us and pretty much hold our hand until we were ready to behave on our own. The idea of that straightened us out and maybe his dad can do so without holding his hand of course but sit next to him. One or two days of that treatment, he just might change his ways. Just an idea and I figure extreme behavior calls for extreme measures.
Best of luck no matter how you guys decide to approach it.
We actually BOTH threatened
We actually BOTH threatened that as well! He missed two recesses this week for not filling out his planner (the board with all of the planner information that needs to be written is directly behind him, I found out today). We said on the third strike we were going to start coming to his school and sitting next to him. Apparently that didn't change a damn thing for him either!
Maybe a threat isn't enough.
Maybe a threat isn't enough. I'd stick with the "3 strikes" and if he doesn't straighten up, do it. Maybe a day with you or DH sitting next to him would work.
Sometimes meds are really
Sometimes meds are really necessary and benefit the child. My cousins son would probably be institutionalized if she hadn't fought to get him help it took 23 different meds (doses combinations) and 5 years but the moment they hit the right drugs and doses he was a totally different normal child. Everyone could see it and this started from the age of 2 he was so improved by second grade you would of never known how ADHD, ODD he was. He's a teen now and doing great with a fantastic team behind him.
I work with children who each
I work with children who each have different diagnosis on almost a daily basis. And I know the process OS tiresome and I know it sucks to see a child struggle with meds and the like. But when it comes to real issues like ADHD and students not just being BAD .
I ask parents to think. . If your child had an infection would you treat it with meds? If they have cancer, do you let them have chemo? Some may disagree but I find it comparable. If your child has a diagnosis that is real, why wouldn't you want to make things easier for your child? Why wouldn't you want them to succeed. Btw I see just as many students whose dx. Are full of shit.
It may depend on the state.
It may depend on the state. Where I am teachers take an active role in communicating with parents about how well medicine is working or isn't working. It seems stupid to me that teachers wouldn't take an active role in a medicine that is brig prescribed most of the time to help a student with their schooling. Does that make sense? Plus between divorced parents teachers spend more waking hours with these students than the parents do. Medicine is definitely discussed at IEP meetings with the correct staff present. I could say other things that happen but I'd rather not stir the pot.
It also changes the whole
It also changes the whole atmosphere too when the child's education is directly related to their diagnosis. They are receiving special education specifically for these reasons. Discussing medicine and diagnosis is pertinent in the hold moving forward.
What is dx?
What is dx?
dx=diagnosis
dx=diagnosis
Give the kid the drugs he
Give the kid the drugs he needs to freaking function! Geez, many of the methylphenidate based drugs will slow growth. Not that big of a deal when you put them on during the school year and take the off when not in school.
The kid is not functioning without the ADHD meds, and you and his teachers are punishing him for behavior he cannot control. Do you think being the kid that is always in trouble and has to have an aid sit with him to keep him on task is helping his social development?
There are many other ADHD meds that can be tried to affect the desired result. Or even changing dosages might help.
This is what his mother did.
This is what his mother did. This is what I consider to be the lazy method of parenting. I would rather go through restricting diet and behavioral therapy before putting him back on drugs. Pills do not always make everything better.
Behavior therapy does not
Behavior therapy does not work where there is an organic problem. Neither does a no sugar, no artificial additives diet.
It's not lazy parenting to give needed meds.
I used to think ADD was made up until I acquired it thru a head injury. I am useless without my Ritalin. Without it my brain has no ability to sort and focus on thoughts, therefore I can't make a decision or figure out what to start on first. With it I can function near normal.
My step-grandson used to pull his hair because he couldn't stop his thoughts because they were 'zooming to fast and want to come out at once.' Give him an add med, he could do schoolwork and his frustration levels lessened. He wasn't a zombi.