Just a vent, covering SD20 on DH's insurance
So DH comes home this weekend and informs me his work is having open enrollment for medical insurance. Frankly, his insurance sucks. He is having me look into getting him covered on my insurance, it is that bad. Then he tells me that he can either get coverage for himself (individual) or for the entire family (covering one kid costs the same as covering all of them). Here's where it gets sticky.
DH is still covering SD20 on his insurance. So, adding DH and our two kids to my insurance costs an extra fee, PLUS he would be paying as much to cover SD20 as it would cost to cover all of us under my insurance. So essentially he's telling me he's going to get coverage for SD20 through his work, which is going to cost us a buttload of money. He feels he should still cover her because she's a college student.
I don't disagree with this per se, but it chaps my butt to have to continue paying to cover SD20 while she continues to mooch off us and work the system. I honestly believe the only reason she's in college is so she can continue to avoid her responsibility and GROW UP. She's getting Cs and Ds in her classes, her GPA is 2.5 and likely to continue to drop. She drinks and parties all the time and spends daddy's money.
When I was that age, I was on my own damn insurance, not my parents'. Is that unreasonable?
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Idk-I was married at 21 and
Idk-I was married at 21 and then shortly after got a job providing insurance for both me and my hubby. I am sure I will cover my children though at 20-as they will all be in college. I do know one year I was going to take out a policy at my college-it was really cheap-specifically for college students-that was 20 years ago so I don't know if they still have policies like this? It may be more affordable for her to do that? Or may be more affordable for her to go to the marketplace and obtain her own insurance-even if daddy has to foot that bill-it may come out cheaper.
Yes, that's what I was
Yes, that's what I was thinking of, my college offered some sort of cheap policy for students. I want to have DH look into this, but he's so hard-headed I don't know if he will. He's all for shooting himself in the foot if it makes it easy for SD20.
Just say no....She is twenty
Just say no....She is twenty and barely a college student. I have one in college and there are rules on my help. His GPA has to stay at 3.3 Otherwise, he loses his scholarship and the difference of that is living at home. Loses his car insurance and everything else. This stops the partying....
He needs to grow a pair....
I agree with you. There would
I agree with you. There would be rules, if she didn't keep up the GPA then she can get a job and pay her own way.
If it does not cost you
If it does not cost you more...can you cover her on your insurance? DH covers my kid (in college) on his insurance.
My insurance plan is the
My insurance plan is the better plan and I don't have to pay anything toward it plus I get an employer contribution to my HSA (really a pretty sweet deal). DH always carried SD20 on his plan even though he wasn't court ordered to he has a stable, steady job and BM could never manage that. His is a decent plan, but he had to contribute toward it for himself and SD (so more money out of his pocket, while I paid nothing for my plan). Short version is SD20 drops out of high school, moves in with much older BF, parties hard, drugs, drinking, very limited contact at Christmas, almost nothing for 1.5 yrs now etc. We of course still got the EOBs showing she was going in for annual check up and birth control and other medication. Due to HIPPA we couldn't get any info about what the visits were for. After sticking DH with the co-pays a few times (meaning collections called us because the plan was under DH's name), DH got tired of being used for the insurance when he had no way to contract SD, no idea where she was living, lots of concerns about life style etc.
So when open enrollment came around last time, DH looked at the increase he was going to half to pay, weighed it against just joining my plan and not paying anything and decided to make the switch. He sent an email to SD's last know email account letting her know we were making some changes to our insurance and he was going to join my plan and she would need to make alternate arrangements to get her own plan or join BM's plan. This gave her 2-months to figure something out and at the time as a 19 yr. old supposedly young, healthy (adult) person she would have lots of options. Yes, as my SD I could have put her on my plan, but there is no way in hell I will do that for a variety of reasons (starting with if she wants to do adult things, she can pay adult bills, and ending with not my kid, not my problem). If she were a decent human being, working and/or going to college we likely would have covered her through college, first decent job or marriage-- however not the case. No contact for SD until late December where she had some not very nice things to say to DH regarding the insurance change and how he had failed her entire life, blah, blah, blah. No contact since.
Anyway, a year later we have saved money by not having to pay any premiums for DH and SD, no collections calls for SD's medical bills, no EOB's arriving in the mail with her name on them (which always ruined my mood seeing her name in my mailbox).
I know your DH is completely blind to your SD and her out of control behavior, but has he considered that she might con a doctor into prescribing her pain pills and then use your insurance to cover the drugs? Because she is over 18 HIPPA won't let you dig into what you are being bills for, what the diagnosis is/was. He will get all the bills (because most often you are bills well after any DR visits) and there won't be much you can do about it. Being stuck for the co-pay on a flu shot isn't a big deal, but does he want to cover the copays on her pre-natal visits if she gets pregnant?
If you have concerns about her life style and medical choices better to get her on her own plan, even if DH is subsidizing the cost, than have on a plan that lists you or DH as the ultimate payer.
"I don't disagree with this
"I don't disagree with this per se, but it chaps my butt to have to continue paying to cover SD20 while she continues to mooch off us and work the system. I honestly believe the only reason she's in college is so she can continue to avoid her responsibility and GROW UP."
Once I started having to cover myself, that really made me grow up. And the time for me to start covering myself was well before I turned 26.
I went on my own health
I went on my own health insurance at 21 when my job offered it to me. I was still a college student, but I thought open enrollment time would make an easier transition than waiting until graduation. My mom was upset when I told her to take me off the policy, but I think she was sad that I was growing up. DH still has SD22 on his, but once I found out that having her doesn't cost more because family is the same no matter how many kids, I couldn't say anything about it to him. I think it's enabling to keep having kids on past their college graduations. These kids will never learn to be responsible on their own. It's sickening.
I was 20 when I got my first
I was 20 when I got my first job that offered insurance and I was going to school at the same time with a newborn, SS, and a bf (now DH). I really feel no pity for college students that have no kids, like really. Figure it out.