HELP! Please. I've been a step-parent for a year and half now and the honeymoon period is long gone and I'm seriously at wits end..the the point of even thinking of going away for a couple weeks to re-think things. NO doubt I love my DH and REALLY desperate for this to work...but I haven't met any step moms like me yet. First off his son is a very big 7 year old nonverbal child who will draw blood from you through fighting or biting if he is told no in ANY single way. I'm not exaggerating. He also is frankly disgusting, he digs in his butt wipes things on walls poops all over the seat, eats like a wild animal, will come in from out side COVERED in mud no matter what the weather. He has ruined EVERYTHING I previously owned before they moved in to me and my son's home. Here is the list: The couch is 100% broke down, torn out stuffing, disgusting dirty; the trampoline; my bed as he was somehow left unattended for 15min and jumped so hard (while muddy) he put holes in the boxspring); every standing mirror in the house, pissed on the 400$ electric "fire place" b/c he was told no and got mad at me; every nice dish we owned (I stopped and buy dollar store ones), the list goes on. It's insane. I understand his has a disability but so does my son and there is no excuse for this extremeness. His dad usually will just yell and will discipline if it gets extremely bad but it always gets extremely bad. You can't do anything but spank the child and even then he just fights you back...he seems to feel no pain at all. But then what may be worse of all is his "normal" 8.5year old daughter. She too is big for her age looking like she's 11. We started off trying to build that "family" she even called me mom. But then her behaviors started really being annoing she woudl constantly hit my son (same age) when ever she was mad and just acted ridcioulsu. So I began disciplining but this made my DH who parents out of guilt b/c bio mom ran off mostly b/c of our marriage...mind you he's had custodial parent rights for years before he met me but she would atleast take them out especially the daughter and spend some time with them even if it was just once a month but as soon as we got pregnant and married she ran abandioing her child (mostly her daughter b/c she never cared for her disabled son -she has 2 other before these kids by 2 other men who she does not have these kids eitehr and they are 16 and 18 but she hasnt' had them since they were 13 and 15). SD is THE MOST manipulating child I've ever met. She knows she can not act like she does to me when her dad's there but as soon as he leaves (our work schedule varies) and I have her it's like ww3. And she lies to her dad all the time.Even lied about me "punching" his son...I've never even whipped the boy only did what I had to do to get him to stop biting me and when her dad confronted her and i about this she quickly "ohh well she didn't punch anyone I was mistaken she just yelled to get him off her my bad, daddy i love you guess what i did at school, all A's on my test...hey dad i made you a picture come look" NO JOKE that is pretty much how it went and NOTHIGN was done...I understand this is a DH and I problem. But this little girl won't give us 2 seconds alone. He will even tell her to but then she knows how to play him and she will come back literally in 2min "daddy i jsut watned to ask you if I could have an orange sir" then 2 min later "daddy there is no tp" to which he goes and it's right there she hid behind the toliet and "there you go hunny" "oh thank u dada" in a baby voice.. NO JOKE these are the converstations that go on in our hosue CONSTANTLY. We have a infant and it's FAR LESS demanding then this almost 9 year old. We relaized she wants so much attention so he spends 30min with just her everynight while I spend 30min with my son and sometimes I have to have the baby as my son is good and behaved and not spolied so doens't mind sharing his time where she flips out...but it didnt' help infact it made it MUCH worse now she EXPECTS she DESERVES all the attetion one on one. I'm not joking she interupts us every 3minuets even after bed she will gag herself to coughing just so she can ask him for help. She alos gets almost every weekend with undivided attention from her grandparents which she adores and wants to go. She is THE most spolied child and the only one besides the baby who does NOT have special needs. She whines about EVERYTHING and she NEVER tells me thank you. She breaks everything as much as her savage brother does. Her dad spent too much money on her for her bday last year and no joke she LOST the 40$ alive baby doll thing he bought her 1 week after having it, never knew where it was!! Left it somewhere, church, grandparents, school, bus, who the hell knows...she wasn't even to be taking it but she will hide stuff and take all the time. I could go on with stories. I'm sorry! I've tried posstiive stuff, even sticker charts, ect...NOTHING works and I'm not allowed to discipline. I'm SO resentful b/c his children FORCE me to give SO much of my time up to them and my son gets hardly NONE for DH. My son doesn't really seem to care if DH is there or not and there could be literally a week go by with NOTHING said to each other. NOTHING. But niether one seems to care and when do talk there seems to be no hate. But I fume with him having to do NOTHING for my son B/C HE'S GOOD HE'S 9 W/ASPERGERS AND TOTALY SELF SUFFICIENT. He worked hard on this! But I DO EVERYTHING for his kids b/c they don't shut up ever ever ever. I have recently just disengaged. I stopped taking her anywhere w/me and my kids, I stopped helping her paint her nails, I stopped even talking to either of them unless I truly have to. I answer with "yes" "no" and "talk to ur dad not me." It sounds awful but it's the only way I can survive this home anymore. I get all the eye roles plain outright ignoring ect but now that I just stoped caring, stop trying it makes me feel calmer and more able to just cope w/o goin insane but it's made her behavior now into this "I miss my mom dad, can she move back in w/us, can we move out of here and find mom?" And she's NEVER EVER said this before. And honestly she ONLY says this to him when he is refusing to give her 24/7 attention from 4pm-9pm. If he is playing a game with her or otherwise glued to her ass she NEVER whines about her mom but if he's god forbid playing w his baby or watching TV it's all on full out guilt trip. WHAT DO I DO???!!!!